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gee_dee
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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19 Nov 2017, 5:11 pm

I hear that the overwhelmingly "typical" process for diagnosis in women is that they often only get it much later in life, thereby missing out on many opportunities for resources.

But has anyone else, like me, actually been diagnosed at an early age but still had no access to resources that were actually helpful in any way? I've been "on the radar" since I was kindergarten age but I got zero extra support at school except for an extra five minutes in exams, as seemingly they just thought that's all I needed. Then when I was older, and then persuaded to (or basically made to) start going to groups for adults, any time I tried to participate I felt like I was really out of place, not least of all because there were usually almost no women in the groups I went to and I felt like all the groups were aimed at those who were more autistic in the very stereotypical sense. I had probably only met a total of two Asperger women (that I knew of) in my entire life before I sought out online groups for women, where I feel far more at home. But in terms of actual real life local resources I've completely given up as there may as well be nothing out there, and I feel as a result, any doctors who read my medical file have given up on me because I won't go to any groups anymore.

I'm wondering if I'm missing out or if I'm just "not trying hard enough" as I've been told quite a few times by now. Is anyone else an "isolated aspie"?



BTDT
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19 Nov 2017, 5:24 pm

Based on what I've been able to discern, useful help for Aspies is still a work in progress, even for guys. Or, there is a realization that despite all the "help" that early diagnosed Aspies have received, there doesn't seem to be an improvement over earlier generations of undiagnosed Aspies.



gee_dee
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 3 Apr 2013
Age: 39
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19 Nov 2017, 5:30 pm

I realise that's very true, and indeed my own understanding of Aspergers has come on a massive amount over the years. Indeed one of the main reasons I rejected the diagnosis for so long was the pervasive idea that Asperger people lack empathy, which I took at the time to mean that I was being diagnosed as being a psychopath or something. Considering how hyper-sensitive I think I've always been, that hurt a lot at the time.

In fact, I feel like the unhelpful "help" I've had over the years has actually been worse than nothing at all, because I've had whatever self-confidence I've had undermined as I've been talked down to as if I barely understand anything, and treated like an ingrate when I dare to imply that what they're pushing on me isn't helping. It's felt like a long and slow process of gaslighting and ever since I quit trying to seek resources in real life my confidence has almost come back again.



Sofisol612
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30 Nov 2017, 12:23 pm

Yes, I also got an early diagnosis (at about the age of four) and didn´t receive much resources, helpful or otherwise. When I started first grade, the school suggested that my parents should hire an aide for me, but they refused and made me change schools instead. In the new school there were only fifteen students in my class, so the teacher could pay attention to all of us, and I was not treated any differently than my classmates. The only accomodation I ever had in primary school was that I was allowed not to do p.e. because I hated it and usually acted out during those classes (I had many ODD behaviors as a child, too). In secondary school I changed to a technical school and had to start p.e. It was a big school with many classrooms, so I was allowed to change to another class after I was bullied for a whole year. I was also given some special attention by the teacher of Technical Drawing, because of my fine motor skills issues, and she gave me passing marks even when my work was significantly below the one of my peers, but that was all the help I received. My parents always wanted me to do everything with the least possible extra help, to the point that they even denied me the knowledge of my own diagnosis until I turned twenty-one, so that I would believe I was just like everybody else and should not ask for help other people didn´t need.


_________________
Professionally diagnosed with PDD NOS as a child, but only told by my parents at the age of 21.

Autism Quotient: 30
Aspie quiz: 123/200 aspie; 75/200 NT
RAADS: 135