Trapped inside of myself.

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I can't believe I'm 25 years old and have no way of dealing with this. Everything is fine until I have to interact with people, I can hardly handle the grocery store.
I go through phases where it's much harder for me to function than other times...I just don't why it's taking me so long to pull myself out of this. It sounds crazy but for the longest time I swear just drinking caffeine made me feel normal around other people, it isn't working anymore. I haven't talked face to face with anyone I know since February and what really scares me is that that seems NORMAL to me. I know it isn't but I just feel like I'm losing track of time, I need to force myself out of this thing.

Any suggestions? Meds are not ruled out completely but it's going to be the last option. I've been on and off for most of my life and I want to find a different way of dealing with this.

Yes, join an activity where your interaction with people is LIMITED and controlled. Something hobby-related, or, ahem, physical, like dance, martial arts. tennis, rock climbing, fencing...

You can't push yourself to handle something you can't, but you also shouldn't let yourself stall. This world is filled with people who DO interact with grocery stores just fine, and in order to live among them, we have to put forth our best efforts.

Wish i knew what to tell you. I went through the same thing starting about 4+ years ago, and i still have this conflict of interest when it comes to social interaction. My philosophy has been, and will be, the literal meaning of the phrase, "I dont really have anything to tell them" (literally, what is so important that i have to talk to some stranger). I did do a kind of gathering for a while, but it was all about the topic at hand, nothing else so no need for small talk. On the up side, i will ask where i can find something, but even that feels awkward from time to time. But as far as talk to someone waiting in the checkout line . . . what's the point?

NT here.

We get a "hit" of oxytocin from talking to people. Basically, NTs are a bunch of weirdo drug addicts.

...Thanks for making feel even more like a freak.

LOL, I'm kidding. I wish I could say the same. Have fun.

Don't people who are AS and NT just talk to people because they are bored, or because they want to have the satisfaction of having had a good social interaction?

Not really sure what you're asking...I'd say a lot of people with AS don't talk to people because they're bored, and some do. I'm sure there are also people who are introverted and NT who may not get a high from talking to people either. I don't think all NTs are the same, being neurotypical doesn't make you extroverted.

Talking to people is a chore in my opinion I cant see how NTs enjoy it.

..and I get a high from talking to people.

It may also depend how emotional the person is.

Not me. If I talk to someone it's usually for one of the following reasons.

1. They're my friend.
2. They started it and I'm being polite.
3. I need information.
4. I need to give them money in exchange for goods and services.
5. I am being paid to stay in the same room as them and communicate.

Hm... I've gotten much better over the last couple of years. That said, I still won't go to the grocery store unless absolutely necessary. I don't really know why. I don't like getting in the car either. Very seldom does it happen that I'm in a great mood and I can enjoy the "outing" without warning lamps about something not good happening in the back of my head.

But I've come to try to see people as more "human" lately . THey just want to hav a good experience, too. They might have some sort of problem going on in their lives, like somebody close died or they have problems with family. Or this woman with the curls in her died hair, is she afraid of aging? You know, this kind of stuff. And all of a sudden, it is not so hard to share a little smile. And most of them are very thankful for a smile! I can't read their emotion, but... I forgive them, ha ha! The cashier gets me every time though with his or her dumb questions. I usually just mumble something

Hm..

NT, but kind of narcisisstically nihilist, sometimes.

A friend of mine said, "Most people are not shallow. Everyone has a story."

He's right. It really helps to remember that.