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Gingerbiscuit
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Age: 58
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24 May 2011, 2:26 am

I feel very stuck right now. I have a huge fear of change and trying anything new. I am very socially isolated.

I don't know whether my fear of change is directly related to my Asperger's syndrome or other mental health issues (I was diagnosed with Asperger's in my early 40s after a long history of mental health difficulties including OCD and anorexia nervosa). I am unable to be spontaneous, to do new or different things unless they have been planned well in advance and I have got my head around the idea of doing something new or different. My life is very restricted and I rarely go out. I hardly socialise - apart from online.

I know that fear of change and the need for structure and routine are supposed to be part of Asperger's syndrome, but I am not really sure whether what I am experiencing is agoraphobia, OCD, depression - or just symptoms of Asperger's.... :?

Although 'sameness' feels safe, I also feel I am missing out on life. I am self-critical when I compare myself to other people who do things like get married, have kids, go on holiday etc.

Any advice would be welcome. Thanks...



League_Girl
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24 May 2011, 2:54 am

I can relate to what you're saying. I have had problems trying to be out more and I just wanted to be at home with the computer and TV. I had to plan things in advance. Today I am still stuck at home. My husband can decide an idea like going out to eat and it takes me a while to get on with it. I have even wondered if this is all about my obsessions with money, I don't want to waste gas or spend a lot on eating out because it's expensive. I must plan it to budget. Of course that is why my husband decided to take over the finances because he said I couldn't handle it.



Tokiodarling21
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10 Sep 2011, 6:40 pm

I don't know if this is leaning towards off topic-ness or not but ever since I became a fan of my favorite band Tokio Hotel, the lead singer Bill Kaulitz's hair was always dyed black and I thought that color suited him very much. Now yesterday I saw a picture of him in LA with Blonde hair and all the other fans on the message board were happy about it but I was :x (very upset) I took this as Bill going overboard with his appearence as if it wasn't Bill at all (the paparazzi were totally thrown off by the color of his hair they didn't recognize him) and that's not what I want. I want to see him not a completely different person.
Some fans actually thought I was leaving the fandom b/c of this. I never said I would. I love Bill! But his blonde hair was a shock for me b/c I find the black hair to be comfortable and the blonde hair just doesn't give the same feeling.



kahlua
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11 Sep 2011, 4:54 am

Gingerbiscuit wrote:
I am unable to be spontaneous, to do new or different things unless they have been planned well in advance and I have got my head around the idea of doing something new or different. My life is very restricted and I rarely go out. I hardly socialise - apart from online.

Although 'sameness' feels safe, I also feel I am missing out on life. .


I know exactly how you feel - I'm in the same boat. I want to do things but have too much fear\anxiety\resistance to trying new things. I hate change, cannot tolerate unplanned things, or anything out of the usual routine.

Its tough...



nikki15
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11 Sep 2011, 7:00 am

I know what you mean. I can never seem to get myself to try new things or be more spotaneous. I recently bought healthier foods because I want to save money and not eat out as much. But I still eat out a lot. Or when my group leaders try to get me to do things a little differently, I get very anxious and frustrated because they're taking me away from my routine.

I could give a million examples, but I feel like I'm missing out too sometimes.

I feel like I'd have some of the things I want if I were a bit more spontaneous.