What have people commented about you repeatedly?

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"Bubbly" is my biggest one. Kind of an ironic term for an introvert, isn't it?

That Im very quiet
I need to smile more
My mom says "I need to be less serious" tho I object her judgements
Need to be more confident
Need to watch what I say
Im cute
I look young for my age
I need to be more socialable
Im very smart

Smile
Cheer up!
You think too much (funny how we all seem to get that one - I wish NTs would think MORE!!)
You're intimidating
You ask too many questions
That's too deep
There's something... "different" about you but I can't work out what...
I hadn't thought of it like that before...
That's way too complicated
You're not like other girls
You're a smart one
I don't believe you (as in, they think I am lying when I am not)
I know you... Where do I know you from?

Or they will tell me what I am thinking and feeling and refuse to hear me when I tell them how I am REALLY thinking and feeling *sigh*

Well, I guess when I said it's all bullying it was on the cynical side of things. Sometimes giving little bits of criticism can be a way of reinforcing the subtle social hierachy that is constantly being played out between people. They may not actually mean any harm but often it can mean the person is taking the lead role. For example when I was fourteen I started my growth spurt and I was quite physically awkward. One of my peers started pointing out how I was sitting, moving etc., thinking that she was helping me. Actually I found her quite patronising. It went beyond helpful when she started talking about my awkwardness with an entire group of girls in my year. She didn't know that I was listening from around the corner. At that tender age I went home and cried, and I couldn't speak to any of the girls again. Actually it affected my self esteem for a long time.

Criticism can be appropriate when it is between a teacher and student, with the aim of learning, or between a boss and employee, in the name of productivity. In both these examples it should be constructive and not personally directed. If a boss or teacher criticizes you constantly or unfairly or directs it at you personally, it is bullying.

I grew up with genuinely nice people and it wasn't until my mid-twenties that I was made to realise that there were some people in the world who were just basically nasty. I always used to forgive nastiness and make excuses for the person but now I tend to deal with it more assertively. I don't end up having to put up with crap now. I am still open and trusting toward people I feel deserve this trust. Nasty people desire power, probably because they feel small inside, and they like to abuse that power. They will take advantage of your kindness and feel no remorse. It takes some skill to deal with them effectively so if you are a bit hesitant than don't deal with that person directly, avoid them if you can or deal with their supervisor directly.

Nice people are hard to find so if you are with nice people then stay there!!

I look confused in a group setting...

Some one commented that I looked like I was losing weight and that was cool.
Boyfriend commented on my hair the other day.

Other than that people dont take enough of an interest in me to notice anything I guess.

That I don't have good sense
That there is no telling what I will do or say
Not to let me around sensitive people or those that need to be impressed in a good way
That I'm the go to girl for revenge
That to me, there is never such a thing as a bad idea
That you should hide your liqour

Things that people have said to me were.


You should smile more.
You don't look your age.
SHHH!! !

Why are you wearing that???
You have spooky/pretty/cat eyes.
Excuse me, you dropped this.
You're some kind of genius, aren't you?
Are you okay?
Are you lost?
Wake up!

"saw you yesterday, but you didn't see me, you were in a world of your own"

"you think too much"

"too quiet"

"not tactful"

"You can't tell them That!"

"lighten up"

On a more positvie note I have been told by some people that I often help them see things from the other person's viewpoint (a third party) which they had never considered before.

Ironic that we are supposed to lack empathy and the ability to see things from another viewpoint, when I hear NTs talking about each other, it is clearly a huge problem they have!

I guess my thinking too much means I come up with more possibilities for other people's motivations.

And "are you OK?" quite often too,

no idea why, except that apparantly I sometimes "look confused" when I'm perfectly OK.

you're so quiet
you never talk
you look sad
you need to look up when you walk
you're so shy
you mumble
you're eyes are big/beautiful
you're so thin
you never smile
you're so serious
you read a lot
you know a lot about plants/history
you do a lot(politically)
you need to lighten up
you're so cold
you're such a feminist
you're not trying
you dont manage your time
YOU'RE A COMMUNIST!?

"Smile, it might never happen" - usually by fat, middle-aged truckers who think they are hilarious. I don't rally understand what it means anyway.
Stop being so serious
Wheres your sense of humour
Ooh touchy, arent we
Why do you have to know everything?
Stop being such a smartass

"You're so quiet!" (No s***, Sherlock.)

"You're so smart!" (I'm really not, I just have a better-than-average memory for some things.)

"Nerd!" (I embrace it.)

"Really? I wouldn't have picked you to be/have/like <insert one of various options>."