Lack of Trust

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I feel that a big obstacle in the road to my developing a relationship is lack of trust. Not a fear of being cheated on but a fear of being used. How do I know whether a guy is just flirting and flattering me for the thrill of it or just to see how far he can take it? How do I know if he's serious or not? I could never forgive myself if I let someone in and they only wanted a fling for fun and used me.

Anyone else feel like that?

I can relate. I had a history of being used and cast aside without an actual relationship ever developing, so that my longest term relationship didn't happen until I was 40. That lasted about a year and a half and in retrospect that was the biggest joke of all. It did produce my son though, who has Asperger's and when I discovered Wrong Planet and started reading, a little light came on. I realized I didn't have the basic instinctive skills for relationships. I realize that many with social comprehension issues have good relationships, so perhaps my situation is more complicated than my lifelong difficulty in connecting with people, but I do think it is significant.