Muslim Women?

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Please stop about polygamy and answer my questions.

[quote = "MO2"]is it right for a Muslim to harass another Muslim brother or sister for not wearing hijab, fasting during Ramadan, saving money for pilgrimage etc?[/quote]

Harass, no, but advise, absolutely. It is obligatory. In fact, this is one of the best things about our religion is that it is an obligation to remind one another of what we are supposed to already know. Being an obligation helps in overcoming shyness and apathy. Of course, as legendoftheselkie said,

so some people might be eager to advise and lax in appropriate delivery, neglecting to temper their advise with wisdom and gentleness, but we are all works-in-progress. In such a case, you might simply advise back. A Muslim should appreciate it if he/she is advised to present their advice in a more harmonious, respectful manner (and it shouldn't make any difference whether that advice comes from a Muslim or a non-Muslim). And if he doesn't, well, that's his shortcoming (and we all have them). The point of advice is not to put people down, but to help everyone up.

For this reason, I suppose that when dressing in a way that is commonly assumed to be Muslim, you might unwittingly be inviting unwelcome advice. A Muslim woman eating in Ramadan during the day might not be committing a sin because she may have her period and therefore be excused from fasting, but it is considered wrong to eat in public in order to avoid advertising her private situation and (in a Muslim country at least) to maintain the public atmosphere. In a non-Muslims country, such advice was maybe just meant to be helpful. I'm always surprised in Egypt at how well one is expected to take advice even when it seems to me that such advice is meant in a mean spirited way. I am inevitably told that it appears that way to me because I assume the worst of people. The Egypt bit is just my example because in my experience, Americans are particularly offended by random advice. The people you mention may actually be rude or you may be perceiving them as rude because of a cultural/religious divide.

[quote = "MO2"]Is there supposed to be a penalty given out to people or is it just on their own conscience?[/quote]

Penalty? There are no official worldly penalties for something like that, but are there in any system/culture/religion? Penalties come in many forms, some from Allah and they come in like kind to the offense. Although I'm sure there are many different implications, the word, "karma," comes to mind. Some penalties come from the people who were offended themselves in the form of dislike, disapproval and distrust. These things are inevitable, I suppose. Then there is also the great Accounting on the Day of Judgment when no atom of wrong will be left unrequited.

[quote = "MO2"]I don't think it would be anyone business why I cover my head anyway.[/quote]

I suppose any time you do anything out of the ordinary or unexpected in public, you are going to be subject to a certain amount of attention and as I understand it, hijab is a major magnet for unwanted attention (wait, are you in America?). Maybe you could prepare some kind of a here-it-is-in-a-nutshell Miss Manners response and resort to it as necessary, like...well...I'm not really Miss Manners, so maybe we should take suggestions on that one.

thank you for answering my questions.

I have worn various types of headcoverings. Certain styles do invite unwanted attention. I find that hats or berets don't seem to bother people too much. A Mennonite style bonnet or hanging veils or large scarfs tied a certain way get so many unwanted comments. (remember, I am a Christian and cover my head for religious reasons). I thought that wearing a hijab type scarf might attract less attention because where I live -- there are many Muslims. People are used to seeing women wearing hijab and mostly don't bother them where I live.

People know it is against the law where I live to harass someone for wearing hijab but they don't seem to understand it is the same offense to harass someone wearing Mennonite clothing as well. Once I was wearing a long modest dress and a "bun cover" in Walmart and I had a woman and her teenage daughter came up to me and made fun of me. I told them that I dressed this way for religious reasons and that they wouldn't make fun of a Muslim woman wearing hijab and then they apologized.

For not tying or pinning a scarf a certain way or responding to an Arabic greeting, I have also been criticized as being a "fake Muslim". That is also harassment. How would a Muslim woman respond to a strange man approaching her in public? I should just ignore these people?

It is actually good to live in a country where I can wear a piece of cloth for protection and also have laws that protect me too. I am just often surprised at people being so rude and ignorant.

It dosn't matter if it was for religious reasons for not, the fact that those people made fun of you is just plain rude.... what are they the fashion police?

I think I will just say that I cover for religious reasons and leave it at that.

I was not wearing a headscarf but large beret hat, long skirt and modest necked top. Some man asked me why I was dressed that way. I told him it was religious. He asked me what religion. I told him but I think I should avoid discussing my clothing with strangers in future.

Harassing someone for wearing religious dress in my country is a hate crime. But just what is harassment? I think that stating ones religion could just invite abuse.

The next answer to further questions could be "I am not interested in discussing these matters with you (or strangers)." Questions or comments beyond that would be harassment.

I am actually thinking about going to talk to police about what I can do about future harassment. I don't know when it would be appropriate to call the police and make a complaint.

Some people are just curious or ignorant about covering. I am not interested in getting into arguments with people in public. Some people don't agree with the reason why women cover. I don't like when woman dress immodestly in public yet I don't criticize them in public.

What is your "stock phrase" about people inquiring about your covering?

My hair is really long and curly but I very rarely have it down, it is either in a braid with a bandana over it, or a head scarf. People never asked or said anything, I don't wear them for religious reasons at all, I am just a naturally modest person.

One day I did leave my hair down and that was when people asked why I always had it up or covered, I often respond to 'why not? there is no reason to have it down either'. But religion was never mentioned at all, I guess its because they see my pentagram, showing that I am a pagan.

I get the same reaction. "why dont you show off your beauty?"

Why would i do that? It is funny because if we are modest, it is weird...

I guess when some people say ''freedom'', what they mean is freedom to show off your body, not the freedom to dress it with honor.

It is strange the reaction that a little piece of cloth on your head can cause.

People will ask me why I wear long skirts are the time. I don't like people looking at my butt, the shape of my thighs and my legs. It does not feel modest to me to wear pants. I am not ashamed of my body. I just don't think that I need to be on public viewing.

On the subject of headcoverings. I think that wearing a good looking headscarf is important. Once I saw a woman wearing what looked like a cloth diaper on her head. Other times I see women wearing some raggy cloth that is not hemmed properly. This is not like "oh, I had to throw a dish towel to put out the trash". These people were out in public on the bus, in shopping malls. Scarfs are not so expensive that a women could not have a few pretty ones to wear with different outfits. Underscarves are not difficult to make even. Some girls use t-shirts and cut off the part above the sleeves.

Another thing about covering up but not being modest such as sheer headcovering without any underscarf. If people are just wearing it over their head loosely and not worrying about any hair showing ok. If it is wrapped and pinned around Arab style, what is the point? Or the girls wearing a headscarf covering all their hair, neck, ears but wearing the tight jeans and tight shirt?

I think long tunic style tops are better to wear with pants. Shalwar kameez is good but there needs to be a lining or panel between the legs. If someone standing with the light behind them, you will be able to see the outline of their legs and body. Men sometimes find that more sexy than a mini skirt. A long skirt with a petticoat or pants underneath might be the best option. I sew my own petticoats from cotton fabric.

Right on about the raggedy looking headscarves! When I was a kid a lot of women went around in public with a head full of big, pink curlers. My mom would always say to me, ''Where can she be going tonight that's so important that she has to go out in public like that?''
You may not be beautiful, and you may not have a lot of money, but it's important to try to dress with some kind of pride. You can shop in thrift stores and find something decent.
In my neighborhood it's considered preferable to wear a wig instead of a scarf or hat. Some women who really can't afford wigs for everyday wear go around looking like an animal died on their heads. I'll stick with my scarf, thank you! And everybody knows you're covered.

I dont understand the wig thing... Could you explain it to me? Because i know jewish ladies cover their hair, but, wearing a wig is covering their hair, but showing other.. so it is the same no?
I would not feel confortable wearing a wig. your hair underneath would be a mess! loool

About the "state" of our clothes... Too right!!
Even though i am fully covered, (head to toes and face) i take good care of my jilbab and neqab. they need to be very clean, and iron! because i dont want anybody to think that i dont take care of myself!
modesty doesnt mean that we dont take care of our self! that we should look like tramp!! because there is a lot of modest clothes which are really nice now!

Most Orthodox Jewish women cover their hair in some way. Whether they cover most or all of it, and what type of covering they use, is a matter of which rabbinic ruling they follow, family/community custom, and personal preference. A wig is considered a full covering according to most opinions, since it isn't the woman's own hair. It used to be obvious that a wig was being worn, but since wigs have gotten so lifelike, some prefer not to wear them, or to wear them with a hat or scarf on top. In some communities a scarf is worn with a small hairpiece of hair or silk threads (to look even less like hair) in the front- a higher level of observance being to wear only a scarf. Other opinions say that a wig is better as it is easier to conceal all the hair. Some women cheat, though, and tease some hair out in front for a more natural hairline! I feel that a scarf covering all the hair is honest and promotes a more spiritual feeling.
If you think all that's complicated, just ask about Orthodox men's hat styles!

you are tempting me... Go on tell me!! !
we often go to a park, and it is a great park because there are a lot of muslim and jewish. And yes i noticed they've got different style of hat, and hair (dont know the name in english of the hair on the side... )

some sects believe that modesty also encompasses not setting themselves apart in appearance too much and not drawing attention to themselves. That is why some women will wear wigs and more modern styles that are still modest- with long sleeves, long skirts, higher necklines, but that follow fashion trends in cuts, colour and fabric.

Someone wearing a full burqa to a nude beach might be drawing attention to herself. Wearing a wig and nude fat suit wouldn't make you fit in either. Best to avoid those places anyway.

I still think that covering should be a matter of choice. I suppose if some women choose sheer scarves, it is still their choice. We just can't be foolish in thinking that if we are trying to be modest and go without the proper undergarments that "no one will notice".

I am thinking about the time that I saw a man walking to the mosque wearing a robe. He didn't have on enough layers and EVERYTHING was apparent under one layer of fabric. Men need to be more modest sometimes too.

...but she would still be covering what should be covered which is the point.



Absolutely.



I can't imagine he meant to do that. I'm sure if the mistake had been pointed out to him, he wouldn't do it again. Thing is, however, immodesty from men does not have quite the same effect as when it is from women. It is more repulsive than appealing.