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anna-banana
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26 Jan 2009, 11:20 am

are we not yet done with generalisations on this thread?


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mixtapebooty
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28 Jan 2009, 12:21 am

Shiggily wrote:
mixtapebooty wrote:
Your obsessions with fallacy are are implications that you are a gifted perfectionist, but not that you have AS. Maybe you don't. I've doubted it since I started researching your thread posts.

Shiggily wrote:
I honestly just want you to start making sense. Though it amuses me that you think I don't have AS because you think I am a gifted perfectionist. When I was confirmed with AS today. Course there is nothing like an online armchair psychologist with a crayon degree telling you that they know all about you.

I was honestly, just trying to piss you off. I'm really not trying to sit in an armchair, but this whole obsession of yours with it is rather quaint. I don't really give a rat's ass if you are DX'd or not, Shiggily. I'm a professional Sadist, not a psychologist, Shiggily, why don't you know that yet? I really think that you should let this one go. I deserve a reward for helping raise awareness. If you are really interested in more of what I think, send me a PM, I'd be happy to give you more of my opinions in private, but frankly, I'm not that interested in if you think this shouldn't be discussed out in the open, so before you go hiding behind a subgroup of angry onlookers, who don't count as the entire AS population... try comprehending what was actually said from an objective standpoint that makes sense to more than just people who you are letting egg you on. That's really all the advice I can offer you. I know, I know, you have AS, and some things are harder for you than other people... yada yada yada... well, at least I did hope you didn't have it before you told me, and thanks for coming out with it. Although, it could have been done better. :wink:

mixtapebooty wrote:
All attention is still on you. I don't need to explain myself. Anyone can reread the thread if they like and make opinions of your behaviour and mine. You can't seem to really see what actually happened in the thread, and have taken all the few hundred readers on an extreme tangent temper tantrum.

Shiggily wrote:
you don't want to explain yourself because you still can't cough up any proof that you are doing more than making stuff up. So you keep repeating yourself saying the attention is all on me. Because you want it on me. You don't want people to notice how horribly full of holes your arguments are.

You can't comprehend anything in this thread that I have written, other than the part about meaning to pissing you off, I'm sure. (see above) I'm not making anything up, I'm just advocating for someone who is marginalised in this thread- her thread. I've seen you marginalise others on WP, if I recall, you may have taken on this attitude with me before. Shiggily, I don't feel sorry for you for getting offended, or for anyone else who did, really, but this thread wasn't meant to be about you, so back to the issue at hand....
Shiggily wrote:

And there are far more people in this thread who were concerned about the original post then you are looking at... maybe you need to look at the thread again. I am all for comforting and supporting someone who needs it. But never at the expense of another group of people. So I will be happy to provide support for her, not not if doing so implicates an innocent group of people in a correlation with criminals that is both unfounded and undeserved. Logic over emotion. You only see her wanting support and your emotions kick in and you run to support her in anyway she needs it. (which normally I have no inherent problem with). Except in doing so you are harming and offending an entire group of people who have done nothing to deserve it, by perpetuating an unfounded idea that (if it gains ground) would make their lives very difficult to live. Then when they expressed their concern with that you attacked them. Creating multiple victims in order to fully (and without thought) support your one victim. Which is logically unsound.


If you think that me advocating a victim on WP is going to change mass public opinion, then you are just plain ol' paranoid. Is that part of AS? Now that you have a DX, can you take yourself a little more seriously and get some people to sign some petitions or something? Come on' you either want me banned, and are going to do something about it or you're just wasting your time. I think you and all these people are kidding yourselves if you think that somehow rumours of all AS males being pedophiles are going to surface in the general public and create mass affect. Shiggily, you're the one who made that statement initially, just so you could continue arguing. Haven't you figured out yet, that you've twisted the entirety of what I've said, just so you can go on with some old argument you use for everything? People tell their stories, and everyone's got a different experience. Some pedophiles have AS and so do their kids. I'm not arguing, or trying to prove anything. This isn't a debate as to who has more logic. You don't want to advocate someone, and have chosen to smear me for doing it. Find another way to be the intellectual bully, that we've all seen you be, consistently. You don't always make logical sense, so GET OVER IT, Shiggily.

Shiggily wrote:
that and when I came in this thread had already been taken on an extreme emotional outburst tangent by your

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2002180.html#2002180

This was actually pretty calm and collected, if I remember how I felt when I wrote it, and still feel in this thread, but hey, it's you who stereotype women for being emotional and irrational, not me.

Shiggily wrote:
and since we are playing armchair psychologist, I can speculate that you do not consider their feelings as valid because she is a woman and they are men. particularly AS men, who might secretly be super evil child molesters. So her feelings are valid and their feelings are not.


Hey, now you've got it.



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28 Jan 2009, 4:30 am

mixtapebooty wrote:

I was honestly, just trying to piss you off. I'm really not trying to sit in an armchair, but this whole obsession of yours with it is rather quaint. I don't really give a rat's ass if you are DX'd or not, Shiggily. I'm a professional Sadist, not a psychologist, Shiggily, why don't you know that yet? I really think that you should let this one go. I deserve a reward for helping raise awareness.

I could honestly care less what you claim to be "professionally" or otherwise. And if you were trying to piss me off you would have to try harder than that. You care enough that I was DX-ed to think that somehow claiming I didn't have it would offend me. But I could careless if I have it or not. And it is obvious that you are not a professional psychologist. And I suppose if I stopped to try to care about exactly why you do what you do I could figure out that you just like to screw with people for the hell of it. But honestly, conversing with you just kills time in between classes... as much of my WP activity is used for.

mixtapebooty wrote:
If you are really interested in more of what I think, send me a PM, I'd be happy to give you more of my opinions in private, but frankly, I'm not that interested in if you think this shouldn't be discussed out in the open, so before you go hiding behind a subgroup of angry onlookers, who don't count as the entire AS population... try comprehending what was actually said from an objective standpoint that makes sense to more than just people who you are letting egg you on. That's really all the advice I can offer you. I know, I know, you have AS, and some things are harder for you than other people... yada yada yada... well, at least I did hope you didn't have it before you told me, and thanks for coming out with it. Although, it could have been done better. :wink:
Actually I have survived quite well not knowing if I have AS or not. So a DX doesn't change that and I don't blame all my problems on things like that. I don't even blame all my problems on abuse. So, no, things aren't harder for me than other people. And if you hadn't noticed... no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3. So I fail to see where all the people egging me on come to play. And I normally only take advice from people that I know and trust unless their advice stands out as being worthwhile and particularly useful. Your advice seems to be neither worthwhile, nor useful... I don't know you nor do I want to... and from what I have seen from you, I don't particularly trust you or your advice.

as for your last sentence "it could have been done better" that statement just makes no sense. I wasn't coming out, throwing a party or really making any type of announcement. I was merely amused that your shoddy attempt at a diagnosis was completely different than what my actual diagnosis ended up being. I didn't know I had it before I told you. But nothing has changed from that day and today.

mixtapebooty wrote:
You can't comprehend anything in this thread that I have written, other than the part about meaning to pissing you off, I'm sure. (see above) I'm not making anything up, I'm just advocating for someone who is marginalised in this thread- her thread. I've seen you marginalise others on WP, if I recall, you may have taken on this attitude with me before. Shiggily, I don't feel sorry for you for getting offended, or for anyone else who did, really, but this thread wasn't meant to be about you, so back to the issue at hand....
I am not offended. And it is generally considered good to look at who and in what situation you are advocating for. Like I said... I am all for advocating victims and supporting them. But not so that I will harm other people in the process. I don't just flip a coin or draw a slip of paper and advocate for whatever come up. I actually stop and think about both sides, consider which side needs being advocated more, etc. In this case, you have done enough advocating for the OP. And it was not turning out well. So I stepped in to advocate for the opposite side as no one was listening to what they were saying. I actually used to work as an advocate. It does not mean blindly and dogmatically supporting one side... taking everything they say at face value and beating anyone over the head who disagrees. You have to examine both sides, both points, and sometimes you need to stand up to who you are advocating for. Otherwise you are not an advocate, you are not thinking on your own, you are merely a bulldog that someone uses to mindlessly attack anyone they want.

mixtapebooty wrote:
If you think that me advocating a victim on WP is going to change mass public opinion, then you are just plain ol' paranoid. Is that part of AS? Now that you have a DX, can you take yourself a little more seriously and get some people to sign some petitions or something? Come on' you either want me banned, and are going to do something about it or you're just wasting your time. I think you and all these people are kidding yourselves if you think that somehow rumours of all AS males being pedophiles are going to surface in the general public and create mass affect.


The perpetuation of a myth is what changes mass opinion. And I am not paranoid, just realistic. If you think that anyone can make any statement at anytime without that statement being perpetuated as fact later on down the road is not living in reality. Let's see.... how many current myths/rumors are there about Autism and AS...

Myth: Autistic individuals are a danger to society.
Autistic People Don't Build Relationships
Autistic People Don't Have Feelings
Autistic People Are All Alike

Monsters are (almost never) born... they are primarily made.

mixtapebooty wrote:
Shiggily, you're the one who made that statement initially, just so you could continue arguing. Haven't you figured out yet, that you've twisted the entirety of what I've said, just so you can go on with some old argument you use for everything? People tell their stories, and everyone's got a different experience. Some pedophiles have AS and so do their kids. I'm not arguing, or trying to prove anything. This isn't a debate as to who has more logic. You don't want to advocate someone, and have chosen to smear me for doing it. Find another way to be the intellectual bully, that we've all seen you be, consistently. You don't always make logical sense, so GET OVER IT, Shiggily.
actually this is the first time I have made this argument. What old argument that I use for everything. Yes, some pedophiles have AS, just as some are tall, some are fat, some have schizophrenia, some have high IQs. But you are not arguing that fat is responsible for pedophilia, nor height, nor skin color, nor IQ. So I fail to see why you are arguing that AS is. Despite the lack of evidence.

And I don't think people necessarily have more logic. Some just use it and some don't. I haven't qualified you as either (in general)

mixtapebooty wrote:
This was actually pretty calm and collected, if I remember how I felt when I wrote it, and still feel in this thread, but hey, it's you who stereotype women for being emotional and irrational, not me.


I thought you liked random stereotyping. Or are you only cool with your random stereotypes. I could provide you with resources to support the hormonal levels of the average woman, that correlation to female emotional bonding with young (and why that bonding is not always necessary in males of a species), and then provide you with the general breakdown of the relation between emotional reasoning and adequate rational reactions. But I doubt you would read them.

mixtapebooty wrote:
Hey, now you've got it.

well, now that you have gone ahead and confirmed your bias and irrational thought process of favoring one group over another without evidence because you base you validity on the presence of a specific genitalia... I wonder why we are still having this conversation. Do you read what you write? when you do, do you honestly follow that line of thought "objectively"?


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BellaDonna
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28 Jan 2009, 4:49 am

BellaDonna wrote:
Hey, I had nothing wrong with you expressing your post. I just stated that people shouldnt be arguing or debating about AS being linked to paedophilia because as they come from all walks of life and you cannot profile them to any particular person.

I am sorry you feel upset by peoples responses because you should feel supported.


The fact is AS should not be linked to paedolilia because ^ and I think this is the most relevant point. There should be no further discussions because it isn't helping any-one.



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28 Jan 2009, 6:13 am

BellaDonna wrote:
BellaDonna wrote:
Hey, I had nothing wrong with you expressing your post. I just stated that people shouldnt be arguing or debating about AS being linked to paedophilia because as they come from all walks of life and you cannot profile them to any particular person.

I am sorry you feel upset by peoples responses because you should feel supported.


The fact is AS should not be linked to paedolilia because ^ and I think this is the most relevant point. There should be no further discussions because it isn't helping any-one.


I was trying to say that, but your second point has been noted.


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28 Jan 2009, 12:45 pm

When I was dealing with sexual abuse issues, back in the early '90s (when sexual abuse was the hot issue and hardly anyone knew anything about autism), I wondered if there were something different about me that invited the abuse or made it more likely - did I stand out in some way that made me an easier target? I mentioned it to a friend and she said she used to ask the same question, but decided not in the end. So I thought about it a bit and decided not, too. I think the research suggests that it's kids who are ignored who are at greatest risk (since the perp is less likely to get caught). Disabled kids may be at greater risk for neglect and therefore abuse, but it's the neglect, not the disability, that is the risk factor. But I had to ask the question, otherwise how would I put it in perspective?

I think it makes sense when you're working through these issues to consider every factor in the abuser's makup and wonder what if any contribution it made, too. So, for example, are accountants more likely to be abusers? Maybe, maybe not. There's nothing wrong with accounting per se, but it may attract emotionally immature people who couldn't handle more people-oriented fields. Bernardo (the serial killer in the Toronto area) was an accountant. Are rich men more likely to be abusers? Poor men? Stepfathers? (definitely yes to that one). It depends on your personal experiences which questions you ask. I think you have to ask the questions, though, to get beyond them. If you censor yourself too much, you can get stuck.

I guess that was what the OP was about.



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28 Jan 2009, 1:07 pm

Anemone wrote:
When I was dealing with sexual abuse issues, back in the early '90s (when sexual abuse was the hot issue and hardly anyone knew anything about autism), I wondered if there were something different about me that invited the abuse or made it more likely - did I stand out in some way that made me an easier target? I mentioned it to a friend and she said she used to ask the same question, but decided not in the end. So I thought about it a bit and decided not, too. I think the research suggests that it's kids who are ignored who are at greatest risk (since the perp is less likely to get caught). Disabled kids may be at greater risk for neglect and therefore abuse, but it's the neglect, not the disability, that is the risk factor. But I had to ask the question, otherwise how would I put it in perspective?

I think it makes sense when you're working through these issues to consider every factor in the abuser's makup and wonder what if any contribution it made, too. So, for example, are accountants more likely to be abusers? Maybe, maybe not. There's nothing wrong with accounting per se, but it may attract emotionally immature people who couldn't handle more people-oriented fields. Bernardo (the serial killer in the Toronto area) was an accountant. Are rich men more likely to be abusers? Poor men? Stepfathers? (definitely yes to that one). It depends on your personal experiences which questions you ask. I think you have to ask the questions, though, to get beyond them. If you censor yourself too much, you can get stuck.

I guess that was what the OP was about.


True Anemone.



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28 Jan 2009, 1:08 pm

Step parents are much more likely to abuse a child than the biological parent.



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28 Jan 2009, 1:40 pm

Shiggily wrote:
.. no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3.


Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."



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28 Jan 2009, 9:44 pm

ford_prefects_kid wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
.. no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3.


Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."


I agree, her post wasn't out of the ordinary. Now this has become Shiggily's soapbox debate platform because she can't stand for anyone else to have the last say in a discussion, most of the time. She's in over her head.



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28 Jan 2009, 9:59 pm

Shiggily wrote:
BellaDonna wrote:
BellaDonna wrote:
Hey, I had nothing wrong with you expressing your post. I just stated that people shouldnt be arguing or debating about AS being linked to paedophilia because as they come from all walks of life and you cannot profile them to any particular person.

I am sorry you feel upset by peoples responses because you should feel supported.


The fact is AS should not be linked to paedolilia because ^ and I think this is the most relevant point. There should be no further discussions because it isn't helping any-one.


I was trying to say that, but your second point has been noted.


I agree that the general public should not assume that all men with AS are pedophiles. Overall, people who believe ignorant stereotypes about people with Autism aren't participating in this discussion. I don't see any reason why discussing one particular sexually abusive dad with an AS diagnosed daughter in the realm of possibilities of having AS, isn't o.k. There are numerous threads all over WP about abuse and other issues that people have experienced with people (male and female) who might have AS and/or another disorder. This thread was totally typical of WP's normal discussion content. No one here is trying to change public stereotypes of people in the spectrum. I, for one, think that if AS goes uncaught and untreated due to parental neglect or ignorance of the disorder itself, that a lot of things can go wrong in that individuals life, and that pedophilia is just one example. There should be no argument to that.



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28 Jan 2009, 10:33 pm

Anemone wrote:
When I was dealing with sexual abuse issues, back in the early '90s (when sexual abuse was the hot issue and hardly anyone knew anything about autism), I wondered if there were something different about me that invited the abuse or made it more likely - did I stand out in some way that made me an easier target? I mentioned it to a friend and she said she used to ask the same question, but decided not in the end. So I thought about it a bit and decided not, too. I think the research suggests that it's kids who are ignored who are at greatest risk (since the perp is less likely to get caught). Disabled kids may be at greater risk for neglect and therefore abuse, but it's the neglect, not the disability, that is the risk factor. But I had to ask the question, otherwise how would I put it in perspective?

I think it makes sense when you're working through these issues to consider every factor in the abuser's makup and wonder what if any contribution it made, too. So, for example, are accountants more likely to be abusers? Maybe, maybe not. There's nothing wrong with accounting per se, but it may attract emotionally immature people who couldn't handle more people-oriented fields. Bernardo (the serial killer in the Toronto area) was an accountant. Are rich men more likely to be abusers? Poor men? Stepfathers? (definitely yes to that one). It depends on your personal experiences which questions you ask. I think you have to ask the questions, though, to get beyond them. If you censor yourself too much, you can get stuck.

I guess that was what the OP was about.


I recently read that gifted children are often left to "their own devices" when it comes to parenting about crucial issues like sex, drugs, and alcohol use. There are staggering statistics of gifted teens and adults who fall into mishaps due to the lack of information and attention given to them in these specific areas.

I, from personal experience, believe that parents have and had in the past, a tendency to favour healthy children primarily over their children who may have a behavioural or mental health issue along the way. It's not a universal belief, but there are plenty of examples out there. Could AS in the child be the cause of a parent's neglect or apathy towards the child? One trait people with AS are said to share is lack of social and emotional reciprocity. Parents may have a hard time understanding how to communicate with their AS children, and if they don't get them evaluated, then what? If the parent(s) have undiagnosed AS themselves, and are unaware of it and what it is, then well, there are going to be even bigger problems getting the child brought up the right way. This isn't as true for parents now as it was for parents of the OP's generation because of awareness.

No one has mentioned the generation gap in people with AS, undiagnosed yet, but it is very crucial to this entire discussion. I mentioned the age of the woman here in Richmond, with the creepy scientist dad for a reason. I think that before AS was "real" to the general public that, of course there were tons of people with it who never knew, and had parents who didn't know what it was, and may have had it themselves, and so on, and so on, all the way back for generations. There's just no telling how they all turned out. It's interesting to also note that all the clinical stereotypes of AS children and adults are made from healthy test subjects with AS and/or those found in relatively healthy homes. There is no telling what all the undiagnosed kids and adults in unhealthy situations are like, and how they would affect how people with AS view the AS population. When you start thinking from a world wide, and not strictly Westernised perspective, then you've got hundreds of thousands of Aspies, diagnosed and undiagnosed who could shed some cultural light onto how people with AS all over the world are living their lives. One out of 10,000 children has Autism? Is that the current figure?



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29 Jan 2009, 3:27 am

ford_prefects_kid wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
.. no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3.


Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."


I see your post on page 2 now. sorry I missed it. Your current avatar stands out better than your old one. though in general I was referring to people supporting me. I should have been more specific.

And while oddly unclear. I assumed MTB's statement was sarcasm.


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29 Jan 2009, 1:50 pm

Shiggily wrote:
ford_prefects_kid wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
.. no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3.


Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."


I see your post on page 2 now. sorry I missed it. Your current avatar stands out better than your old one. though in general I was referring to people supporting me. I should have been more specific.

And while oddly unclear. I assumed MTB's statement was sarcasm.


I think you missed more than one thing in this thread, mainly- the point of it.



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30 Jan 2009, 4:01 am

mixtapebooty wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
ford_prefects_kid wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
.. no one else participated in the discussion between me and you until the end of page 3.


Hahaha, I'm no one. This isn't about that "irony" thing, is it?

Speaking of which, I'd be willing to bet that MTB's "hey, now you've got it" was not the direct affirmation of your statements you took it to be.


In all seriousness, I think the general negative assessment of the OP's intentions was unfair. She ended up being treated a bit like that troll that came in a few months ago with a made-up story about an AS man who raped her- and I think she got jumped on too fast because somebody else had cried "wolf."


I see your post on page 2 now. sorry I missed it. Your current avatar stands out better than your old one. though in general I was referring to people supporting me. I should have been more specific.

And while oddly unclear. I assumed MTB's statement was sarcasm.


I think you missed more than one thing in this thread, mainly- the point of it.


:roll:


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