Why do women love abusive men

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Because women that are in an abusive marriage or relationship usually were abused as children. Many people especially women get themselves stuck in the role of victim because its easier to repeat the same patterns even if they are bad than to become independent and play a new role.

As long as a woman chooses to be dependent as an adult they will generally always be the "victim" in every relationship they are in even with friends. It's called victim mentality.

I agree.

However, I do not see myself as some one with a victim mentality. I go out with guys that are similar to me and to what I can relate.

I've liked men who treat me like dirt because I was under their spell.

Infatuation can do funny things to people.

Yes I think infactuation has alot to do with it.

Hurt so good!

c'mon babay make it hurt, so, good!

sometimes love dont feel like it should,

you make it,hurt so good!

Last edited by Haliphron on 28 Jan 2009, 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, a woman i have been seeing as friends said she's been in abusive relationships because she's been attracted to guys looks. She's also seen abusive drunks who were "hot".

Infatuation isn't always about looks. With me, I think it's a cross between that and aspergers obsession. I don't know what appeals with dickheads.. but I don't think it's the fact they're dickheads. Other dickheads I have no time for.

I think when it comes down to it, women just want to be taken. A lot of arseholes are very good at wooing women.

There's entire books written on the subject. I suggest a trip to your local library and check out some psychology books. Its a common theme and favorite topic among psychologists.

Well... I know that part of my problem is an AS thing - I don't know 'how' to leave.

It might sound really dumb but I have a very hard time doing anything that isn't specified step by step, detail by detail. Seperating from someone who you have been with for a long time is a great big X factor with no handbook

I wouldn't know where to start.

As a person who has been in and out of abusive relationships her whole life (the last longterm one being the worst, and the only one that resulted in actual PHYSICAL beatings, as well as longterm physical damage), these are the two that ring the most bells for me.

I only actually realised these two issues were problems for me AFTER I finally walked out on the last guy....and I'm glad I did realise, as uncomfortable as they are to process, because being aware is keeping me away from the type of guys I naturally gravitate towards.

Hale_bopp, how did these abusive guys act towards you when you first me them? Did they ask you out first? Or did you meet them an find out about their jerkish attitude through being involved...

Yeah neither. The breakup I had was really messy because I had no idea how to do it. (This person wasn't abusive I just didn't want to be in a relationship)



I never "went out" with any of them.. I mean they were infatuations, not relationships. They were more dickheads taht I grew attached to after time.

People who are in dysfunctional relationships. It is not just the other person. Both people can be sick. Men I have known to be abusive, some were just dickheads but not all.

They can be good people just like anyone else. One of my partners was a beautiful. He was genuine and honest. He was neither a dickhead or an as*hole. He had been abused when he was a child.

So true! When I was younger, if a family member, friend or lover treated me well just once out of five encounters, I thought that was good and I stuck around for more crap. (God, glad I matured!)

What Ive been wondering myself lately is just exactly HOW does a guy pull off being a Jerk? Especially one who doesnt have the natural inclination to mistreat people unless those people present a threat......