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jrjones9933
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17 Jul 2017, 1:19 pm

I'm not criticizing anyone. I just want to find out if other people struggle with this issue like I do.

It seems like I've fallen into the habit of bringing things back to me and my experiences at different times in my life. It took me a while to get past solipsism and recognize that other people experienced the same things that I did. Now, I lack confidence to characterize the experiences of others, and try to relate by putting myself in their shoes.

Either way, I start a lot, maybe too many of my sentences with I. Can anyone relate?


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Lace-Bane
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17 Jul 2017, 4:28 pm

tend to find it pleasantly humbling to observe again and again that very little one may do has never been done, nor are the seemingly profound things retrieved from deepest contemplations likely to have never crossed countless others’ minds... when the voice aches to speak, hold it within, and in time similar words will arrive from without.



CharityGoodyGrace
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17 Jul 2017, 6:45 pm

Don't we all do that? We all do it whether we realize it or not, but doing it CONSCIOUSLY is another thing that often has to be learned.



starkid
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17 Jul 2017, 8:22 pm

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
Don't we all do that?

I'm not sure whether "we" means "people" or "autistic people" or something else, but the answer is probably "no" to all.


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naturalplastic
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18 Jul 2017, 8:20 pm

Most people do...."do that"....if by "do that" you mean "put yourself into other's shoes" in order to figure others out.

It's normal behavior. What youre supposed to do. I am not clear as to what you think the problem is.



Last edited by naturalplastic on 18 Jul 2017, 8:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 Jul 2017, 8:34 pm

I've been accused of that many times. And the accusation is partially true.



SaveFerris
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18 Jul 2017, 8:52 pm

Isn't that a way of bonding , sharing similar experiences ?

Actually I think of maybe misunderstood could you give an example.

Do you mean if someone says something like "I've just had my foot amputated" and your first reply is "I know someone who had that done" rather than "OMG , that's terrible etc etc"



Last edited by SaveFerris on 18 Jul 2017, 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 Jul 2017, 8:54 pm

At times it does lead to bonding with others. Other times, it leads to perceptions of selfishness.



DataB4
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18 Jul 2017, 9:40 pm

Lace-Bane wrote:
tend to find it pleasantly humbling to observe again and again that very little one may do has never been done, nor are the seemingly profound things retrieved from deepest contemplations likely to have never crossed countless others’ minds... when the voice aches to speak, hold it within, and in time similar words will arrive from without.


Great post! Very poetic. :)



jrjones9933
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18 Jul 2017, 11:25 pm

Other people usually have interesting stories. I like to hear them. I don't like asking questions, often, nor being asked questions. I will ask questions to clarify things, once someone indicates a willingness to open up on the subject. I'd rather they make that choice themselves, rather than prompted by me.

Putting myself in the place of others came later in life, intentionaly, as an exercise in empathy. I suppose that because I have to remember to exercise empathy, I probably go through the process more slowly and deliberately. Where an NT person could instantly imagine how another person would react to some stimulus, I guess I have to work through it and end up saying something out loud or writing some musing on how I might process what they have experienced.

I just wondered how it relates to the way other people have autism. I get super excited about some things, and have to take care not to rattle on about them, of course.


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VIDEODROME
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19 Jul 2017, 12:07 am

I think you can make it about yourself if you have an interesting personal anecdote you can tell that is also very relevant to the current discussion and you can also tell it's holding interest.

I think you can also tell personal stories that are tangents, but they need to use be very brief if their not strongly related to the main topic.



kraftiekortie
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19 Jul 2017, 12:24 am

The thread took an excellent turn. From selfishness....to enhancing one's creativity through liking yourself.