When did you know your social skills are poor ?

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It's a really good question. I guess around grade 10 I recall having (I am ashamed to say) negative thoughts about someone who, it looked to me, wasn't even trying to fit in. Don't worry, I didn't do anything negative - that was purely in my head. But clearly by that point I knew that I didn't fit in but thought that I was trying to.

But even then, knowing I didn't fit in, I don't think I was thinking about how my social skills were. The possibility of having Asperger's didn't even occur to me (having never heard of it) until it was suggested to me about 3 months ago at age 36. I think I answered "Yes" to the question "Are you socially inept" on the MIT nerd test (http://www.timeforclass.net/permanent/jokes/12.htm) quite a long time before that, but that was just a fun test, and not taken seriously.

In any case, I don't think there was any particular time that I became aware of it. Probably a gradual process that started at around age 12 and didn't actually fully complete until age 36.

I couldn't even "play pretend" until I got to be around 6 years old.

I lined up Little People and read books- does that count?

I actually did play pretend some, but most of it was reenacting scenarios my dad would play with me. I don't know if that counts as pretend play or not. Eventually, I made up my own scenarios with dolls and such.

When you read to the "little people," you were definitely pretending.

You re-enacting your playing with your dad counts too---but it's sort of like echolalia, in a way.

However, come to think of it.....you were able to pretend even though it might have been sort of echolalic.

I didn't read to the little people- I lined them up and sorted them. I had two special little people that had to stay together. If someone changed my setup, I would get very upset. I read to myself lol!

That's very autistic-like pretending----but it's pretending, nevertheless.

Yup! Santa Claus and the baby had to be together at all times. Still pretending in my eyes.........

I believed a little in Santa Claus even when I was 12 years old.

My aspie acquaintance/friend (whatever you want to call it) still does as well. I would play along with her, but I'm scared I'll lose contact with reality if I do, so I don't.

If you confide stuff to this person, and you trust her with your secrets, she's your friend.

Whenever I would get sad, I used to hug my Santa Claus doll. After I was 12, though, I gave that up because I thought I was getting too old for that.

I didn't know it was a socializing problem but when I was a kid, my mother phoned another mother to insist that both daughters (Sis *and* me) have to be invited to the party. The other mother fought it but mine won, so we both went. And all the kids were angry and didn't want to let me in the door.

I'm doing better now.

At around 11, I read about poor social skills. At first, I didn't think my social skills were poor, but then came to realise that terms like "weird" and "crazy" was just what kids use to label bad social skills.

I read about social cues I had missed, how people actually made eye contact? (That was very surprising for me), and that I could initiate a friendship instead of just waiting for them to come to me. The Internet is great!

I think I knew as early as my first days and weeks in primary school/1st grade, when I was 5. It was my first time spending all day with other children of my age, and think I fast began to notice I lacked an ability to mix and interact successfully that the other kids did not seem to lack.

Of course, I didn't think in terms of the words and phrases we are using, such as "social skills" - I didn't know what to call any of the realizations I was forming in my perceptions. I was too young to know what it's called. I just knew something wasn't working in regard to me interacting with the others. I was interested in the other children but I could see something working smoothly among them that I wasn't part of even when I tried.

I ended up wandering around the playground by myself at breaktimes.

I didn't even wander round the playground: I stood at the same spot by the railings from 1965-68!! !

I knew it around 7th grade when I said something absolutely random and was picked on for it.(though I probably knew ahead of time but, it didn't really click till then.)

And I'm still poor with social skills. But, oh well at least I can still talk to people here! At the moment that's what matters!