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jon85
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24 Nov 2017, 7:30 am

Hi all. I tend to dip in and out of these forums every now and then - still confused if I have aspergers or not. Online tests say I do, but I've since decided to hound my doc until he can set me on the path of a diagnosis to get to the bottom of it all.

But i have an issue that has bugged me for years and years about myself. I always try and do the right thing through watching how other people behave and do things and trying to separate the things that get positive responses from the negative responses (i'm 32 and still have to study other people to try and get this right). It's like no matter what, there's always something I don't do right and my anxiety means I take it personal and start worrying about it when I really don't need to.

I always try and make sure I say please and thank you when appropriate. But for example today at work, after I make everyone a hot drink, it just simply never occurred to me that the polite/obvious thing to do is to take all cups back to the kitchen for washing - until my boss mentioned it. And there I was this morning wondering why there were no mugs in the kitchen.

Things like this happen all the time, things that are so blatantly obvious that i'm lacking and every so often I will notice it because it feels like other people just know to do this kind of stuff like it's instinct and I don't.


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magz
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24 Nov 2017, 8:02 am

That's exactly what my mother was furious at me for a great part of my life. Not getting the "obvious". I got somehow calmer when I learned that it is due to how my brain works and that I can't do much about it. That's it, that's me, I often miss the obvious and you need to tell me. We all have our limitations, this one is mine (and yours).
I hope your friends and coworkers can deal with it.


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C2V
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24 Nov 2017, 8:22 am

I disagree on your example - I would have assumed it was basic manners for people to take their own cups to the kitchen, clean and deal with them, not expect someone to come picking up after them. :-?


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kraftiekortie
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24 Nov 2017, 8:28 am

In some houses, it's proper for the guests to help with the dishes when there's a dinner gathering.

In others, though, it's considered proper for the cook to also donthe dishes.

I would also think it's proper for the coffee/tea recipients to wash their own mugs.