Page 1 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

21 Feb 2018, 10:38 am

I do not know if this is autism or just a insecurity, but I want to ask you how you feel about others' avoidance on you on social media?
I don´t mean uploading pictures or links from the internet, but personal pictures or posts that come directly from your life. For me who has easy to detect patterns, quickly notice if a person never likes my posts but always someone else's, especially if we posted something at the same time.
People can be busy with something else, I understand that, but when it happens all the time is not an accident or they miss my posts. They are choosing to ignore all the time. It´s not that I post too often either, it happens once a week at most.

Sometimes I just want to delete my page altogether because I feel hurt.
The problem is just that my entire family lives elsewhere in the country and I would miss out
their pictures that I actually want to see. If I choose to delete all these ghostfollowers, I will be interpreted as excessively sensitive and that's nothing I want stand up for and defend myself in the future either because it sound just stupid and I don´t think these people would understand. I know people thinking that social media is just silly and not that important, but it´s actually something we do these days to communicate and to value each other so it´s not that minor either.

Sometimes I think this evasive behavior has to do with the fact that I do not have a job and that people like to judge me from it. Everyone who gets many likes and comments are people who work and have a family, for me who has none of it, it's easy to go aside.

So, how do you handle rejection on social media? What are your thoughts?


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


kicker
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2013
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 467
Location: Atalnta, Ga

21 Feb 2018, 11:23 am

Quote:
So, how do you handle rejection on social media?


I don't participate in the game and post to please myself not some one else. However I don't use the main players in social media such as Facebook and rarely use any other "network" including this one.

Quote:
What are your thoughts?


Social media is designed to take advantage of the human condition to feel connected to others. It's built to reinforce those needs by plying our need to stand out and be counted with a reward system for doing so. Likes, up votes, post counts, etc. are all tools used to promote users to provide more content and richer content that in turn engages other users to do the same or be left out. This drives traffic which benefits the social media site through advertisement and branding.

It's a business model first and foremost. I would say if you don't want to participate in it then don't. You can share pictures through email, or set up your own website to share pictures with your friends or family. It's fairly easy as there are plenty of out of the box solutions for websites and hosting to accommodate that use that are inexpensive or even free.

However if it is really important to you to have the likes and up votes then I would suggest finding a book on social media marketing in regards to self promotion and content to tip the scale in your favor to achieve that goal.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

21 Feb 2018, 11:30 am

I don't give a rat's butt about "rejection on social media."

I would care more if I was rejected in person.



smudgedhorizon
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 293

21 Feb 2018, 12:29 pm

I used to do social media more when I was at school. I uploaded pics of myself, and some got much response. I deleted those pics because it felt like I was exposing myself, although the pics were good. And I also got likes from political opponents and pervs.
Now, just some nature.
I have very few people in my friend list and don't expect much response, it's mostly for my relatives and for people to be able to keep in touch.


_________________
Signature under construction.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

21 Feb 2018, 1:02 pm

I know how you feel, but I don't want to talk about Facebook on WP because last time I did here I got called babyish by some poster here for worrying too much about who likes who's newsfeed updates. I hate receiving those harsh "you need to grow up" type lectures, it just gets right up my nose. So, unless I'm a teenager, I'm going to just keep my mouth shut about Facebook on WP.

But I know how you feel about the frustration of not receiving as many likes or comments as others on social media. Some people post absolute garbage every hour of what they are doing (like 'time to eat a sandwich'), and get likes every time. But I know full well that if I constantly posted updates like that, people would get sick of me and either unfollow or unfriend me.


_________________
Female


alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

21 Feb 2018, 2:13 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I know how you feel, but I don't want to talk about Facebook on WP because last time I did here I got called babyish by some poster here for worrying too much about who likes who's newsfeed updates. I hate receiving those harsh "you need to grow up" type lectures, it just gets right up my nose. So, unless I'm a teenager, I'm going to just keep my mouth shut about Facebook on WP.

But I know how you feel about the frustration of not receiving as many likes or comments as others on social media. Some people post absolute garbage every hour of what they are doing (like 'time to eat a sandwich'), and get likes every time. But I know full well that if I constantly posted updates like that, people would get sick of me and either unfollow or unfriend me.


This was interesting and yet sad to read. I feel sorry for you being called babyish. I hate those comments too! Some people have such low mentalisation-skills (and empathy) that everything they can't relate to are just childish, stupid and not interesting. Why even comment I wonder. If I see a topic I don't give a s**t about, I would skip it, not calling random people nasty names. THAT is babyish, sitting online behind a screen and being mean.

The thing is that social media is not only for children or teens, it's also for adults so it's not strange to have some opinions about i.

It is also interesting that we can behave in a friendly and interested in real life but just ignore the same friend online.

I agree with you totally that some ppl post like 5 bad lightning selfies a day and get tones of likes (adults) but you can post a beautiful pic of the glory morning behind the woods in perfect lightning and 2 ppl like it (your parents), all former old friends see your pic and just ignore it.

It's rejection if it's a pattern as I see it and it's something I wish ppl talk more about.


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

21 Feb 2018, 2:16 pm

smudgedhorizon wrote:
I used to do social media more when I was at school. I uploaded pics of myself, and some got much response. I deleted those pics because it felt like I was exposing myself, although the pics were good. And I also got likes from political opponents and pervs.
Now, just some nature.
I have very few people in my friend list and don't expect much response, it's mostly for my relatives and for people to be able to keep in touch.


I never post selfies or have open profile, but I can understand how you felt and wanting to hide away more. My topic is about those people that you know in real life but ignores you on social media, why they do it and how people feel about it. :)


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


smudgedhorizon
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 293

21 Feb 2018, 2:22 pm

Those guys from school also commented on but never talked to me.


_________________
Signature under construction.


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

21 Feb 2018, 2:31 pm

kicker wrote:
Quote:
So, how do you handle rejection on social media?


I don't participate in the game and post to please myself not some one else.
You beat me to it.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

21 Feb 2018, 2:34 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't give a rat's butt about "rejection on social media."

I would care more if I was rejected in person.


You ARE rejected in person even if it's happening online if there is a ongoing pattern....that's the thing. It's real.


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


jimmyjazzuk
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 19 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 375

22 Feb 2018, 5:01 am

they might not be ignoring you, facebook is likely burying your posts! facebook is about playing the game. if you want likes from them, like their stuff. the more u interact with someone, the more facebook will adjust the algorithm of their news feed in your favour. i did it for a while but realised it wasnt worth the time and effort and i felt a bit sad for doing it. seemed fake. i deleted it and i havent looked back.



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 124
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,178
Location: Out of my mind

22 Feb 2018, 5:10 am

I'm like kraftie - couldn't give a rat's.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

22 Feb 2018, 7:42 am

I would not spend time commenting on a post that I do not care a s**t about. I guess that you who are commenting are not active in social media at all or you do not add personal pictures.

Why even comment on
it if you do not even have a interesting things to say?


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


alpacka
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

22 Feb 2018, 7:45 am

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
they might not be ignoring you, facebook is likely burying your posts! facebook is about playing the game. if you want likes from them, like their stuff. the more u interact with someone, the more facebook will adjust the algorithm of their news feed in your favour. i did it for a while but realised it wasnt worth the time and effort and i felt a bit sad for doing it. seemed fake. i deleted it and i havent looked back.


That's true but I don't have Facebook. I'm talking about Instagram and I have a private profile so it's not random people, it's people I know. That's why it hurts.


_________________
Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the city is forever


kicker
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2013
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 467
Location: Atalnta, Ga

22 Feb 2018, 10:56 am

Just for clarification and to simplify the problem let's review.

You posted to social media of choice either pictures or text.
You expected likes and shares of those posts.
When they didn't come You became upset.
You started to imagine generalized reasons as to why based on your own insecurities about your position or status in society.
You decided to find out why no one was commenting.
You came here and decided to post a question as to why it happens (another social media site) and asked for others to give their input.
You only responded what would be considered positively to those that shared in your grievance.
You only responded what would be considered negatively or not at all to those who didn't.

So that being clarified do you see a pattern in that?



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,137

22 Feb 2018, 11:33 am

I've accidentally ignored people who have tried to talk to me on Facebook just because I've not been able to get the controls to show me what I want to see. I don't post much there, and when I do it's usually just to reply to people rather than to display anything new. A few years ago I uploaded a picture or two, and luckily one or two people liked those, that's about all I've done. So as in my real social life, I don't stick my neck out much, so there's not much scope for rejection. I see a lot of stuff on Facebook by some of my FB friends, some get responses, some don't. I'd feel rejected if I put a lot of stuff out that got ignored, but then I scroll past most FB stuff myself, so I can understand how things can get missed and ignored without anybody thinking me particularly uninteresting. Trawling through Facebook can take hours, and nobody owes it to me to seek out and "like" my stuff.

To me, developing friendship isn't about expecting approval for showing things randomly. There has to be some tailoring to the other person's interests. My preferred alternative to Facebook for showing off is to perform music in places where the audience is likely to enjoy it, preferably with another musician or two so the embarrassment is diluted if we're not well received. Beyond that I don't like talking to large groups, so the smaller the better for anything social. It's much simpler dealing with just one person at a time, finding the common purpose between us and getting on with it.