How much effort should be made to fit in?

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I have found that my days go a lot better if I make sure I get some time completely alone, where i can be 100% me with nobody watching or listening. As long as I get my alone time, I can handle things better in the "real" world outside.

That holds true for me as well but it is also important according to scientific studies, to have human contact or at least talk to other people.

Oh definitely, and I love company, I love friends coming round, I love dealing with people in work. I'm just not always very good at it, but I've found that by promising myself that little bit of time to drop all the masks and "be" autistic, with no attempt at "normal" behaviour, the social interactions become easier.

I suppose it's a bit like in exercise, rest periods are as important as exercise periods.

You say you don't understand.

It is not about understanding it is about being. I know you get this because you said so yourself. You stand at the Throne of God, and it just Is. It seems like the people around you are in a trance because you touched the spark inside them with your senses and a sense of the true motivation behind their actions was revealed. We are all just trying to do right by our inner power. It talks to us and we give it a name. That is what humans do. By naming things we can interact with them. We have power over them.

Somebody Says to you that you are something and if you Hear, the Words have power. Some are better at Listening. Some can Speak. I know people who are better at Acting then they are Doing, and I know people who can See but not Write. You go to the psychologist and say I want to know how to behave in society because I have a Behavioral Disorder. The psychologist thinks in pragmatic NT terms, they try and teach you to be by telling you what you are supposed to be. You are born more in touch with your senses than that, so you want them to tell you why logically you should go be that thing, how is this the path? We want to know why we should give over our dedication of our lives to the pursuit of this path they lay before us.

The meaning of life is having a purpose. It is a giant choose your own adventure. Find the option you can dedicate yourself to and not waver from and pursue it. The rest is just details.

Here here!

I'd have to agree with some of the others. You've tried doing it their way, and it didn't work. Try being you this time. Do you really think they don't notice how tense, and alert you are while you're trying to decode every social interaction? When I've asked for some honest feedback about how I come across in social situations by someone who I trust, and love they told me that I look like I'm analyzing, and judging the person that I'm talking to. What I'm trying to do is evaluate the situation, so that I can act appropriately. However, that's not how NTs feel when I'm interacting with them.

Try to friendly, yes. That's different than trying to be someone you're not. I do make an effort to not be rude, or hurt other people's feelings, but I'm not about to put on an act for the world. It doesn't work anyway.

^ Hey Crassus...what a brilliant post.

Yes...find your own adventure.

I also agree with Inventor.

As you know, Greenea, I have had a bad time of late. One of the issues is one of my work sellers (galleries) who are treating me in and my work in a manner that fits in with their business model and does NOT ACCORD with my values or how i choose to live or run my vocation as a painter.
I think we can get very dejected about the world and our inability to fit in. Many of us here on WP experience this pain. Some do not.

Inventor is right. Do your job and stay out of trying to fit in - that is, if you have to go and get another, and you may well have to do that.

My personal view is along the lines of what Crassus espouses. But at 46, I know the ideal and the real can not always match up for everyone.
At present, i am reframing my vocation - I am about to SACK on of my galleries. They want me to fit in - not with their office politics - but with a business plan that is so unethical that it makes me want to retch. The gallery where bimbos wear their brains around their necks in the form of great. protruding, bling bling necklaces! blaaahhhhhhhh. Money money money...it's a rich man's world.
(The simply do not understand that i do not think like them about cash. I need enough and not tons. I am not interested in money, except getting enough to cover the basics so i can pursue my loves.)

All i know - these days - is I CANNOT FIT IN. I DO NOT FIT IN. I NEVER FIT IN. I CANNOT EVEN WORK WITH OTHERS.
So, I refrain from expending energy trying to. That is a logical conclusion that took me half my life to figure out.

You may have to work with others. IF that is the case, do so. and for goodness sake, BE GREENTEA.
Don't engage with the office staff. Don't try to fit in...because you fail dismally at it anyway.

You come to find that you get your way more often when you fit out instead of fit in, anyways. When you keep conforming and fitting in and letting the herd co opt your view, you end up believing in really self destructive things. When you do this with increased self awareness, it just amplifies the magnitude of crash when you go past your limit. No square pegs in round holes, just find where you do fit in and every day tell yourself that you feel more comfortable with who and where you are because you are a better person with each and every day. If you are on your own personal way, instead of the way pushed on you, there is no denying that it will be true.

You've got a job, GT?

Don't apologize for being Autistic. Interact as much as you comfortably can, and leave it at that. Don't lose sleep over it. Find other ways to be happy.

Think of it like this--you can focus on your work or other things which you are good at and are rewarding, OR you can be tense and alert all the time trying to fit in and socialize with very little to show for it. The choice seems obvious to me.

Nope, nothing yet.

It depends on if the person wants to fit in, or not.

Like inventor says; "none".
Just tell people how you work, just so they understand and don't get mad or something.
Pretending to be something your not just gives stress and reduces the quality of life.

Sometimes pretending to be something your not gives you stress but increases your quality of life and allows you to achieve something you wouldn't otherwise that results in a less stressful long term. And then there are the times I pretend to be Superman, those times always relieve stress and improve my quality of life.

I used to put effort towards fitting in, that is, until it proved to be no benefit or make any difference whatsoever. PISS ON IT!