Do you come off as normal or wierd depending...

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Apparent level of functioning can change with different situations. At least one other member has posted about reduction of certain difficulties after exiting a bad relationship or other bad situation.

I've wondered "well why isn't this a problem when I'm by myself?", or I think about how I don't seem to have any trouble when there's nobody around to criticize me or tell me that I can't do anything right. If you've been in one spot too long, such as the K-12 years, people may tend to box you into things in a way that can become unhealthy.

I have noticed that there's something stimulating about being in an unfamiliar city, among strangers. Effects of heavy exercise and moderate alcohol consumption, combined with this novelty effect, make me feel more normal and perhaps able to establish rapport with people. I did notice after spending 5-6 hours in the gym, my posture was more confident, and I felt as though I look better. I went into a sandwich shop for dinner, the servers were eager to have me sit anywhere I wanted, somewhere I would be highly visible perhaps? I would have taken my friend there later if she hadn't already eaten.

A lot of NTs I meet don't believe that I have AS because I like talking to people. However, Aspies I've met tend to have mixed views.
Let's see: I've been told that I talk slightly monotonously and at a slower pace than everyone else. I used to stare, but people in Junior High made such an issue of that, I felt forced into normal eye contact. Also, I tend to have smooth flowing conversations a lot of the time, though I don't think that has always been the case. Once people get to know me well, though, they either say that I'm funny or weird. I'm unsure why.
Basically, I'm unsure about whether I appear normal or not.

I think my problem is I think I'm acting more Normal then I apparently am. Atleast judging by peoples reactions after the fact.

+1

For a few minutes, it is easy to pass as normal.

The longer the time, the harder it gets.

I went to a photography school for a year. That was one of the few times ion my life I have been around people who seemed to be equals. Perhaps, since they were artist, they were unconventional, and thus were different from the social norms themselves.

I visited other people apartments, had visitors, had room mates. Went to parties and enjoyed them. And went on a few dates.

Maybe the fact I didn't complete the program had something to do with being aspie, resist putting up with the unneccesary crap the instructors dished out, but 9 out of 10 students did not graduate.

Seemed to me that most of the people who graduated were zombies, but not aspies.

I am making the belief that normal in this context means
adjective: relating to adherence to social conventions and acting accordingly

If this is the context of normal, then yes it's not terribly difficult. If the monkey does it, then you do it. (AND yes, some NTs I know acting sheepishly like this). It, however is exhausting, because it's like speaking to a person in Laotian all day(a language I don't know).

I just usually make allowances for myself if I ever act aspie with NTs because they can be Nazis. If they say "I am acting wierd". I just say "i'm off, I didn't sleep enough" or some other bS, but deep down inside I know I am still myself. I hate being someone else. The NTs say be yourself, but they really don't mean it.

Thank God, people in college are usually very liberal, individualistic and open-minded so there are very few blanket rules, but still there is BS, and that's how i diplomatically negotiate myself an exit.

In a formal situation that I have a lot of knowledge of I can become a very strong leader and in that situation NT's tend to gravitate towards me to be the leader. Outside of that they can't throw me out the door fast enough.

true of me, as well! i even sometimes get exausted on purpose for the next day, so it's convincing.

i feel like im someone else, too. sometimes acting is fun, with people im generally comfy with. then i just have to remember to watch what i say, and dont stare or anything. but i hate parties and stuff, where im forced to smile and even kiss people. blech.

/\ Well, it can be fun to study NTs and analyze them(hence my long list of NT topics), but I like being myself.

I think I come across as normal initially in social situations, at least when I have some chance to prepare mentally for meeting new people. I have a mental script of things I can say like "What's your major?" or "What school do you go to?" etc. Once I get past those things and people get to know me better is when I start to come across as being a bit "off".

I seem to constantly wind up telling people that "I'm just tired," whenever they point out that I seem sad/angry/upset/bored because of my inexpressiveness. I even tell this to people who know me fairly well because somehow they just can't accept that this is how I am. I once had a professor take off points for a speech I made in an Oral Communication class because I was too "monotone" and she wrote "show us the REAL you". I don't get why it's so hard for NTs to accept this IS the real me

I probably come off as normal with very brief appearances (like dropping my son of at school and having brief conversations with his teacher), at least as far as I'm aware... No one has said anything to me, but they may have no reason. But I apparently can't hide it for long. After a few meetings people mention things about my quirks or weirdness. People who've known me for awhile will flat out tell me I'm extremely neurotic and beyond weird.
My best-friend always tells me that if I were rich I'd be considered eccentric, but since I'm not I'm just weird.

Yep, same here. If I get comfortable enough with NTs (like some co-workers here and there, for example), I'll forget and let down my guard when everyone's just hanging out and chatting. Usually, I make an ass of myself by saying precisely the wrong thing at the wrong time, by getting enthusiastic about something (and then tripping all over/forgetting my words), or by blabbing about something we're all discussing, and getting too detailed or long-winded about it, thus boring the NT(s) to death. I can't ever tell whether or not they're *really* interested in my opinion/feedback/whatever. I suspect not. Meh.

I go through phases, I think. I've been going through a relatively NT phase lately, I suppose you could say. I've been saying more than a grunted syllable to the people who work in stores, and even a had a bit of a conversation with the lady at a clothing store the other day. I felt like an actor, pretending to be a person who shops for clothes, and says things like, "Is this skirt meant to be worn low on the waist?" (Her answer was, "Oprah says, 'nothing high on the waist'!" and I pretended like I, too, value Oprah's opinion, although the opposite is true.) For a while, it was kind of fun, and I felt energized by the fact that I was getting out of my comfort zone, and making a little change in myself.

But while I was in the store, every time I saw the lady, we'd have these little mini-conversations, and each time I would try to think of the appropriate next line or response, and being vaguely aware that I can't say what I really think. Like, she said, "This dress is great, because you can wear it with black boots, or just a pair of black pumps." I wanted to say, "God, why is it always, 'just a pair of black pumps'? As if every woman has a pair of black pumps, and can tolerate wearing shoes like that? Am I the only woman in the world who can't stand having my toes pinched into a little point, and the skin rubbed off my heel?" But I know better than to say that, so I had to just smile and nod, as if a dress that you wear with pumps is indeed a wonderful thing.


I think I was able to appear like a perfectly normal human being, and nothing strange at all, but by the time I left, I was really tired of acting. I wanted to be sociable, but I couldn't think of things to say that didn't feel like I was either pretending or being weird. In fact, at one point the lady said I might like a particular dress better if I "cinched the waist" with a belt. I said, "That only works if you actually have a waist. On me, 'cinching' just makes it so I can't breathe, and I look like I have a horizontal line drawn across my widest part." She went all quiet, like I had said something kind of creepy, and I wondered if the "socially correct" thing would have been to say, "Oh, yes, belts are my favorite fashion accessory! And Oprah says you can even use a scarf as a belt! Is that clever?"

Honestly, I'm not sure how I appear to others. People don't seem totally put off by me, or weirded out, but I do notice that if I say what I'm actually thinking, conversations sometimes come to a halt. Ha ha! (I mean with strangers, and people I hardly know. With my family, I can say anything, and it's fine. And friends, on the rare occasion when I actually have one.)

elderwanda- I do that too. I guess I really don't understand why being honest about yourself should make people so uncomfortable.

because they are stupid?
i learned to either speak when appropriate or not speak at all. no on has to hear my boring thoughts.