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I don't get the whole girls/women "blend in stuff!"

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millie
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14 Feb 2010, 3:13 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I do my own thing and avoid mainstream society. I have friends who are accepting of individuality, as well. I like an obscure part of the 60s, and I have nothing to hide. The people where you ladies live, must be pretty nasty. I dream of a world, where everybody can be just who they are, one day.


CR...it took me years and years, but I have reached this place in my life too.
I occasionally let in someone to my life who turns out to be unsuited or destructive to me, but I am much better.
I do not live in the mainstream world either. I never have.
And I have found that there are truly good people everywhere - of all description.

When I get negative or down or depressed I forget this, and this happened recently where I plugged in to being negative about the world and people in it.

But really when I step back and look at my life, I believe I am lucky now to live as I do and to have a few people in my life who accept me for who I am.
And those people are accepting of individuality in all its forms and guises and expressions.


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Blue Jay
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14 Feb 2010, 4:09 pm

I try so hard to blend in but I must have a sign on my forehead that says NOTICE ME because even in a crowded classroom, it's like professors have radar and they zoom in on me and always call on me or try to talk to me which makes me feel very nervous. Even at the bank or stores or anywhere it's like people just sense I want to be left alone and make it their mission to not leave me alone.

If someone is going to do something clumsy or stupid, it will be me, even if I am trying my hardest not to do something goofy. I'm the one who will knock over a bottle of water and spill it everywhere, I'm the one who will trip over someones purse or bag in the floor, I'm the one who will electrocute myself accidentally in a room full of strangers, I'm the one that will say something stupid. I think I am cursed! lol

So I am thinking maybe I need to stop TRYING to blend in, and quit worrying so much and go with the flow. It's getting exhausting trying to prevent myself from doing or saying something stupid.



hartzofspace
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15 Feb 2010, 5:54 pm

Hello wrote:
Even at the bank or stores or anywhere it's like people just sense I want to be left alone and make it their mission to not leave me alone.

YES! I so agree. It's as if people take it as a personal affront, if you don't seem to be terribly focused on them, or something.


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veiledexpressions
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15 Feb 2010, 6:07 pm

I only learned to blend in a bit as an adult. As a child and teen, I will admit, things like brushing my hair didn't occur to me. I dressed the way I wanted, and often had people staring at me. I didn't notice the last part, but was often told it by friends/family.

As an adult, I now dress to blend in, style my hair, and wear makeup. I hate it all, though... I'm not sure how well I blend in socially.



millie
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15 Feb 2010, 6:14 pm

veiledexpressions wrote:
I only learned to blend in a bit as an adult. As a child and teen, I will admit, things like brushing my hair didn't occur to me. I dressed the way I wanted, and often had people staring at me. I didn't notice the last part, but was often told it by friends/family.

As an adult, I now dress to blend in, style my hair, and wear makeup. I hate it all, though... I'm not sure how well I blend in socially.


I have tattoos on my forearms and upper arms. So i stick out a bit at my son's school and other places. And yet I am not the type who looks like a thug or a rough type of person. I have these tattoos, but I am well dressed and neat, and so i am a bit contradictory, I am told. People cannot quite work it out.

When I was in my 20's my siblings (3 of my 4 sisters) actually showed me a bit about dressing better, but I still tend towards all cotton and loose and comfortable clothing as opposed to dressing for others. I like to try to look nice, but within the perameters of cotton and comfort.


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poopylungstuffing
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16 Feb 2010, 3:41 am

I have found it virtually impossible to blend in ever since I was a child...in different ways at different times...when I was really small, it was my androgyny and lack of boundaries....when I was a little older it was my oblivion..my constant reacting to sensory issues...my bad hygiene and inability to dress myself decently....as a teen..I developed a bizarre and non-conformist sense of asthetics..and still oblivious to boundaries would do stuff like sing loudly in public and skip instead of walk...my adulthood is an extension of my teens...Even when I try to dress "nicely" it is impossible not to look at least somewhat like a thrift store gypsy...and frankly, "conservative clothes appall me....In public...I am either very standoffish and and I hide behind my partner..or i am really spazzy and goofy and i pace around alot..my spatial issues make me frequently almost bump into things and people..plus odd gait/posture/voice

so yeah..hard to blend in..


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zeldapsychology
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16 Feb 2010, 10:17 am

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I have found it virtually impossible to blend in ever since I was a child...in different ways at different times...when I was really small, it was my androgyny and lack of boundaries....when I was a little older it was my oblivion..my constant reacting to sensory issues...my bad hygiene and inability to dress myself decently....as a teen..I developed a bizarre and non-conformist sense of asthetics..and still oblivious to boundaries would do stuff like sing loudly in public and skip instead of walk...my adulthood is an extension of my teens...Even when I try to dress "nicely" it is impossible not to look at least somewhat like a thrift store gypsy...and frankly, "conservative clothes appall me....In public...I am either very standoffish and and I hide behind my partner..or i am really spazzy and goofy and i pace around alot..my spatial issues make me frequently almost bump into things and people..plus odd gait/posture/voice


so yeah..hard to blend in..




OMG! Sounds like me!! I don't understand boundaries either. Also I can be goofy at times. (Once just for fun I did a Michael Jackson moon walk in the store the other day and my sister said YOU'RE RETARDED!! !!) I welled up tears and said I'm g2g get the stuff I need and went off. I can be a little silly at times. Sadly I've noticed with my behavior happiness=being put down change this/this/this etc. I try not to have those "negative AKA Happy behaviors" and Oh you seem depressed what's wrong with you? So which does family want Happiness or depression I do not know sadly. I don't believe in changing 1000 different behaviors I believe in OMG BEING MYSELF AND HOPE PEOPLE CAN RESPECT ME AND UNDERSTAND ME! But I'm starting to think no one will ever understand me. HELL I BARELY UNDERSTAND ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !!