Asperger's coping strategies

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I seem to be good at sarcasm too, though usually I don't know I'm doing it at the time.

One line of sarcasm in my job is to dream up unlikely but logically feasible benign reasons why the management does awkward things. So I'll say things like "I'm sure they only want us to be happy." It's like making up excuses for people's bad behaviour, excuses that are so lame that it's (I hope) obvious that what I'm saying is that it's the kind of crap they'd like us to believe, and that we're not stupid enough to fall for it.

I used to do this bizarre humour thing with a guy I once knew, we'd say the exact opposite of what was appropriate, e.g. while walking in bad weather, a bus full of warm, dry people went past, and I said "I'm glad we're on this nice warm bus instead of walking in the rain like those two poor guys." Well, we used to think it was funny......only problem was that we'd get "stuck" in that mode, which made it difficult to do any serious communication at all, and his girlfriend used to get furious about it. But we found it a lot funnier than conventional humour.

I think the dishonest habit of pretending to be listening is quite common and to some extent socially acceptable. I've often done it myself, though I always feel it's wrong.....before I realised that lies were so forgiveable in mainstream society, I used to really worry about it. I still do, but at least I now know that I'm not the only one who smooths things over like that - but I still wish it could be otherwise, and often I'll just refuse to say anything deceptive at all, which feels better. Though if somebody is giving me a hard time, I tend to feel that they've forfeited their right to the truth. War is war.

I can understand most jokes, but a lot of them seem very weak......most of my own jokes feel like an attempt to raise the bar, but they're often too clever or convoluted for people to see the point.

Sarcasm can be dangerous. I went through a phase of saying racist things as sarcasm and I thought everybody would OBVIOUSLY JUST KNOW I was not racist. I know it sounds a bit mad but I was really angry about racism at the time (I am always angry about racism but at the time I was very focused on it) and my way of expressing the anger was to repeat the outrageous things that racists said. I soon learned to stop that one.

Me too. I have a few AS friends who like to talk to me monotonously for a long time about the same thing. It is usually science/computer related stuff, which I like, so I listen until my brain is full up. Then I tell them that my brain is full up and they either stop or carry on. If they carry on I just sit there and let them talk and I get annoyed at the sound after a while.

But I would rather have that than have somebody trying to make small talk. Any day.



Most people think I am being serious when I'm joking. And the more genuinely serious and earnest I am, the more they laugh.

^
Yes I wish I had an "overload" sign that lit up when I'd got a brainfull. I find it really difficult to just tell people "can you stop a while till I've digested what you've already said?"

I was having a not so great day before i found this post. You guys make me feel not so strange. Had a christmas play at kids school today, and cookies after.

Makes me laugh to think that other people are thinking the same thing. Sorta like when you think you are the only person in the world who is having the same car issues and you google it and 100's of others have publicly stated they have that problem, and already found a solution.

I'm not good at saying humourous things, but I have found that making sure to smile, or at least make sure not to frown, helps lubricate the social interaction process. This can backfire, of course. Must be very wary not to smile when other person is discussing serious subject matter. I have received negative reaction from that. Person will ask me why I think what they said was funny, they may even become mad at me.

I do all I can to make social interaction as smooth as possible but it can be so hard. Exhausting.

Welcome to the forum.

Exactly, that happens to me all the time. I never know why they think it's so funny when i'm being serious. And when I tell them I'm serious they'll just laugh again.

A few of the things I do to cope.

1. Maintain visual contact of the persons mouth. This sounds weird , but it establishes the concept of eye contact without actually doing it. I find it extremely helpful.

2. I often time say "That may not have come out right, let me try to rephrase it." when I speak or say something that may have had a negative impact.

3. Destimulate. I keep on a very low level all stimulators around me. Lights off (if on, I use low wattage bulbs), natural light whenever possible, no strong smells and no unnecessary physical contact.

4. Be aware of your surroundings at all times, be aware of what might cause an issue, and do your best to regulate your contact with whatever it is.

I don't get it. What does that mean?