Do NTs or aspies have more overall stress level?

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I've noticed a type of stress that my daughter has that I do not have. It has nothing to do with interactions with other people or sensory issues but it most definately comes from autism. She gets stressed by things not going exactly according to expectations or plan or how they went the last time. She is upset by the unexpected in a way I've never seen anyone else get stressed. If she were a hermit and never had to interact with anybody else, this source of stress would still be there. Independent of people, nature still does unexpected and surprising things that have to be coped with. The tempurature suddenly drops. It suddenly rises. It's hailing. There is a hurricane. The tree fell over and crushed something important. Etc. Take away all the people and there is still the stress of the unexpected.

So, yeh, NTs are less stressed in general. I am NT and my stress level is far lower than hers. I have never actually met a person as stressed out. Most of my stress at current comes from my futile attempts to bring down her stress. But mine is situational, like you said. And I have social coping mechanisms not available to her.

There are NT people in situations of nearly unimaginable stress. I think being in a North Korean prison would be an example of that. Or being in a war zone. But when you are NT, these and other intense stressors can be helped by connecting with other people. When you have autism, that whole coping mechanism is not only unavailable, it is a source of stress in itself. There was another thread called "Lonely, but peopled out". That about sums it up. "Lonely" is a severe stress for NT people (which is why solitary confinement counts as such a horror). "...but peopled out" is rarely a stress for NT people. So when you have AS these two types of stress pile on top of each other in a way that I can't really wrap my head around, no matter how many of these threads I read. But when NT peoples' coping mechanism for stress is in iteself a form of stress if you have AS, the levels overall of stress must be higher.

I have given up trying to figure out whats going on and why people behave the way they do and even if you do it why is it so stressful? No one yells at me anymore aside from my parents.

And why are people so stressed out in social situations? Its not like you're gonna die if you make a social mistake.

Social troubles? If you're an Aspie and all you've got are social troubles, you're downright lucky. Try having the whole world overload you; every little unexpected thing throwing you completely off track; either unable to deal with your environment, or just ridiculously far behind everyone else learning things that are supposed to be simple.

No, social stuff is the least of it. I've only barely got to making enough of an attempt at socializing to have any social problems in the first place, because I'm too busy surviving. Granted, it causes less subjective distress not to be focusing on said social issues; but if you're dealing with only social problems, it's a sign you're coping a heck of a lot better than quite a few of us out there.

How much you can do hasn't got much relation to stress level. Being different, on the other hand, has a lot to do with it, because the world's not made for us.

But you've lived that planet for your whole life now.

But when you are NT, these and other intense stressors can be helped by connecting with other people. When you have autism, that whole coping mechanism is not only unavailable, it is a source of stress in itself.