OMG, I infiltrated a candid NT discussion about an autistic

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Sorry to know of that scenario but I am, regrettably, not surprised. People can be harsh! (Gee....and 'they' say Autists aren't empathetic......hmmm).

Next scenario, related. In my former apartment (I moved last Oct.) my very nice/gentle neighbor is schizophrenic. I'll never forget what he told me: In high school he was quiet/shy but did have some friends and they'd go camping together and sometimes meet to watch a movie - the usual. Then, he began having symptoms, which he kept to himself. He successfully graduated from high school but his condition was progressing - he was hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

This town is quite small so of course his 'friends' learned of his illness. They avoided him too. He was was never again invited to 'hang-out' with his buddies and none would even call him to say "I'm sorry, hope you're feeling better" or "I'm thinking of you, take care of yourself" or "Let me know if I can help." How cruel. My neighbor spent his time trying to recover, alone, and he suffers. Although I don't know him well I really admire him (and I've told him so). He's so sweet and his prognosis is good because he's a fighter and really bright. (IMO, far stronger than these 'friends').

Once he knocked on my door at 11 at night! Never had he done that - he was having a serious panic attack (with symptoms). He asked for nothing but stood at my door crying hard. I brought him hot tea (with plenty of spare bags) plus some reading materials and he said he felt much better. I suggested he could call his Auntie (his favorite person) - he did and she came right away. I checked on him the next day and he graciously thanked me.

Anyway, he told me, with regard to these 'friends,' that they are not a friend and cannot know the meaning of friendship. Further, these would not be the sort of people who are 'friend-material.' Indeed. What a bitter lesson but I entirely understand what he means.

I have experienced this, many times. I have learned that people that I thought I had bonded with, or befriended, were laughing at me behind my back. (They hadn't the courage to do it in front of me!) I suppose they thought that they were wonderfully cool and suave, but looking back, my hurt diminishes when I realize that they were so firmly entrenched in the "herd" that they just went along with it. They were not fit for friendship, IMOO.

Some of my co-workers were talking about an autistic friend of theirs, and they weren't exactly understanding. These guys are all just out of high school and just ripping on a friend , if they can really call themselves that. The guy obviously haves some problems with social skills but I was shocked when I heard his associates started revealing what they thought about him, his differences, and his family. No wonder autistics have a rough go. If all you have is friends talking like that about you I couldn't see how trying to continue social relations wouldn't be any good for you, just dealing with all that damage, on top of trying social scenarios. There is a longggg way to go on autistic public understanding my friends...if that is even an answer. I keep getting the feeling that it will be our, or my problem that I need to change habits in order to avoid this kind of repoir with people I interact with