You hear me as I am, not as I have had to be to survive

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"You hear me as I am, not as I have had to be to survive" (anonymous neurodivergent, somewhere on Earth).

Can you relate to this?

If so -
In what ways does your natural voice differ from the voice(s) you have to use in order to survive?

"You hear me as I am, not as I have had to be to survive" ...

I think that I have dropped out of/stopped doing most of those things which I could not/can not survive in without using a very different voice from my own.

Almost ( but not quite ) every job I ever had. Almost all of the sexual and/or romantic relationships that I had before the age of 27 involved me using a voice that was not my own, one that I had learned to use socially in order to survive/succeed.

When breakdown hit, ( the really big wave after a couple of years of increasingly unmanageable mood disorder ), it cracked my "cover" wide open. It was a huge shock, discovering the other voice. Didn't recognise it for ages, thought that part of it was persistent/lingering depression, because it didn't "fit", it wasn't popular or "winning", was often so at odds with normal life around me.

Definitely much less of a "crowd pleaser" this voice! :lol More serious, slower, more sensitive, and oddly authoritive, about some things anyway, compared to the socially appealing giddy "little girl" voice of my late teens and twenties.

I loathe hearing myself speak in that voice now, and can't bear environments or situations in which I find myself using it.
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Me too. In other words, I dropped out of human society.
Mine too. My natural voice is very slow, deep/low, strong and lively.
Society can't hear my natural voice. Society suppresses my natural voice.

Ouinon, there is a scientific explanation which can explain why you were the first to reply to this post.
I'm PMing you about it.

Got it ( and replied )! Don't quite see what science has got to do with it though; probably depends on how define and use that word. Nice to hear from you again after so long!
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