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25 Sep 2010, 12:42 pm
black_swan100 wrote:
Hi,
Me and my other half are getting married this time next year and we're at the stage now where we can start booking things and making bits and pieces that we're doing ourselves.
I'm just wondering if anyone else here has dealt with planning a wedding whilst having AS. From colleagues at work, I believe it isn't an easy task even if you're good at dealing with people...
In order to cut out some of the "having to deal with people" stuff, we're doing a lot ourselves (invites, music, clothes) and trusted family and close friends are helping us out with food, decorations and stuff.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'll have to deal with about 90 people for a full day and be expected to smile and be sociable and nice whenever one of them wants to talk to me - even dealing with about 10 of my close family over Christmas is exhausting!
My partner and my family are incredibly supportive and we've cut the time of the reception to a minimum (afternoon, for a few hours - I can be home and in bed by 9pm if need be
)
I know I've got a year to try and convince myself to deal with it, I just can't help worrying about having to deal with so many people at once...
Any thoughts, suggestions or stories would be appreciated
Me and my other half are getting married this time next year and we're at the stage now where we can start booking things and making bits and pieces that we're doing ourselves.
I'm just wondering if anyone else here has dealt with planning a wedding whilst having AS. From colleagues at work, I believe it isn't an easy task even if you're good at dealing with people...
In order to cut out some of the "having to deal with people" stuff, we're doing a lot ourselves (invites, music, clothes) and trusted family and close friends are helping us out with food, decorations and stuff.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'll have to deal with about 90 people for a full day and be expected to smile and be sociable and nice whenever one of them wants to talk to me - even dealing with about 10 of my close family over Christmas is exhausting!
My partner and my family are incredibly supportive and we've cut the time of the reception to a minimum (afternoon, for a few hours - I can be home and in bed by 9pm if need be
) I know I've got a year to try and convince myself to deal with it, I just can't help worrying about having to deal with so many people at once...
Any thoughts, suggestions or stories would be appreciated
Breaking it down step by step, (what you are doing) is the best, and with enough thought invested, and with your generous time table it should fall together.
Quote:
But that doesn't change the fact that I'll have to deal with about 90 people for a full day and be expected to smile and be sociable and nice whenever one of them wants to talk to me - even dealing with about 10 of my close family over Christmas is exhausting!
-I personally didn't customarily do the rounds at the "tables" to thank everyone- I just couldn't do this.
-You can have announced that there will not be a receiving line and get your pictures done in its stead - everyone can just shuffle to the reception hall.
One thing I don't do is do the act of pleasantries, and this wasn't hard for everyone to understand. I mean I'm not rude, but I do what is natural and speak from the heart and if I don't smile then I don't smile. If I do I do.
I've noticed I have a certain way about me,"an inner strength," for breaking people into a different mode of thinking - an Obi Wan Kenobi
(no, but in reality I think I'm a bit of a controller) .
The other side of the coin is that they "train" you, and you are the one subsumed.
I like to turn the tables and perhaps that is why, at least partly; I found myself alone for 35 years .....
25 Sep 2010, 12:51 pm
I nearly forgot, choose your bridesmaids very carefully. I had my daughter and one of my oldest friends, my sisters were really pissed off that I didn't ask them but it was the best decision I made. On the day they, my daughter and friend, dealt with every problem that came up, not me. They were involved in all the planning and knew it all inside out and they took their duties very seriously (until later when my friend was so drunk she fell down the stairs and the best man had to put her over his shoulder like a sack of spuds and carry her to her room 
). My sisters would have done nothing other than turning up in the frocks and standing in the right place at the right time like bookends.
26 Sep 2010, 12:24 pm
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
I nearly forgot, choose your bridesmaids very carefully. I had my daughter and one of my oldest friends, my sisters were really pissed off that I didn't ask them but it was the best decision I made. On the day they, my daughter and friend, dealt with every problem that came up, not me. They were involved in all the planning and knew it all inside out and they took their duties very seriously (until later when my friend was so drunk she fell down the stairs and the best man had to put her over his shoulder like a sack of spuds and carry her to her room ). My sisters would have done nothing other than turning up in the frocks and standing in the right place at the right time like bookends.
Another very good point
Thankfully I don't think I'll be dealing with bridesmaids - although I have a couple of female friends that I trust it's looking like I'll just be having a best man instead, my best friend of about 5 or 6 years who I know I could trust with anything.
28 Sep 2010, 8:07 am
28 Sep 2010, 8:17 am
Lene wrote:
Werecrocodile wrote:
Women are worth next to nothing.
?
He's a spammer troll. Just ignore it and maybe it'll go away.
My wife and I used a planner but we kept it small - 25 people. We didn't feel the need to follow a lot of the wedding traditions - short service followed by a meal and that was it. It was still a long day. I would suggest doing parts of it on your own if you find those things fun - if not, get someone else to do those things.
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