Rudeness
This morning I had just gotten up mom/dad were sitting in the kitchen dad said he was going to go shower/get dressed etc. I said "You go do that." and he called that comment rude. I meant it in a joking manner I found it kind of funny. They also complained of house chores and mention I should do school work when they are at work etc. This weekend I've mainly focused on trying to read my Health book (to study for Monday's exam). I didn't tell them the past few weeks I've had days where I just didn't feel like doing any school work. It has been a HARD first month of classes. The first week my parents took away my laptop due to my obsessiveness towards school. and once again did it when they saw I was stressed and upset over my Ethics course. So since those times I sometimes feel "Ahh I just will not do work today." Yes it's bad etc. but you see the above comment from my family it seems ANY (get into school work) attitude is put down upon.
Oh well. Hopefully the next few months go better and I can at least PASS my 3 courses. ![]()
CockneyRebel
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Age:40
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Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
I used to get told, that I had a rude sense of humour, when I was younger.
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Sounds like he's rather touchy.....I don't see anything offensive in what you said. I suppose your remark carries some kind of suggestion of equal power - i.e. you wouldn't expect a slave to say that to his master, so maybe he's objecting to the familiarity you implied, that your advice that he was doing the right thing wasn't called for because he's the boss and doesn't need your approval or permission? I'd be tempted to ask him for more detail about what exactly it is that annoyed him...if he talks about it being disrespectful of his authority etc., then he's on a power trip - probably best not to tell him that though, unless you want another fight.
Only time I've heard a remark like it was when the police failed to gain access to a friend's home (they had no warrant and he stuck to his "guns"). They said they'd be back....he said "yep, you do that." - the remark carried some measure of contempt, because the cops had been trying to scare him, and he was thus showing them that he wasn't as easily scared as they'd been hoping. I can't imagine a real-life situation in which anybody would justifiably feel offended - the cops were basically lying (so they could do things they had no legal right to do) and my friend called their bluff.
In cases where no harm (or statement of superior authority) was meant, it might be reasonable to see it as a strange comment, but there's no justification for taking it as an insult, as far as I can see. Possibly slightly dismissive, but aren't people like that most of the time anyway? Maybe deepdown he feels dirty and smelly, and he thought your comment was referring to that - "you do that, you smell like you should!" - but that's not what you said. Or maybe he feels unloved, and thought you were trying to encourage him to leave the room? I'm afraid some parents often resort to pulling rank like that when their insecurities are drawn too near the surface. There's not much point in trying to get them to open up about these things though - chances are they'll just hide their weaknesses away more avidly, and condemn you as the guilty one, for daring to bring such taboo ideas to the surface.
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