Dubious Friends

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One of my friends (I wouldn't call them close but I don't consider them just an acquaintance either) has always been noting my various idiosyncrasies. At least I had a sense that most other people, including friends, have noticed them too but never said anything.
She kept asking why I constantly cracked my fingers (stimming), and twisted my wrists (stimming) or why I always say rude things and never apologize.
Of course, she didn't mean to insult me. But she did, so what can I do about it?

So I got tired of her pointing out how "retarded" I was acting and I told her I had asperger's.
She said: "What? No you don't."
Naturally dubious.

My other friends have easily accepted this when I told them because we ACTED the same in terms of my outward behavior and their actual personalities. What I don't understand is why she would point out all those things but then have difficulty believing they would be associated with aspergers.
Of course, I've some friends whom I've told I had aspergers when they began wondering as well, and they too did not believe me. So I started telling them all the weird things I did, and they said I was only socially awkward. Which is true in that now that I have learned how normal people behave, I have been able to grow out of my "aspie-ness" and be able to live more normally.
But that doesn't mean I've lost everything about my old self.

I certainly would not be pleased to not be friends with her over something as trifling as this, but it is quite frustrating. And now any time I meet someone new and I notice how they are observing me and my stimming an other aberrant mannerisms, all I can expect is for them to be dubious about it, and say how I am normal.
I am certainly not normal, but I- according to others- am not entirely strange either. But of course, no one else could be as honest with me more than me.
I'd like your suggestions. Whether I should even bother telling people when they notice me, or if I should just dismiss it and avoid ever having to hear "No you're not," again. But the only downside to this is that I will feel like I am throwing a big part of my life into the corner to hide.

Maybe some of them don't have any idea of what Asperger is? or they may not know much about it, and if you don't fit their idea of what AS is, they assume you don't have it.

Some of these people will need a longer explanation I guess.

Shadi

If you do not have a condition that is KNOWN and UNDERSTOOD and treated with familiar meds, it is distiurbinh - ask my wife - and gets denied.

If you claim AS - whoa, it has a name, must be a real sicko - and they did not KNOW you were a sicko - you must not have it, or they would have noticed your missing leg. Nonphysical things are not easily accepted.