Do you find yourself 'hoarding' topics for conversation?

Post Reply New Topic

I often find myself doing this when I meet up with people. I'll think of a few things that we can talk about beforehand and then bring them up at staggered intervals when we meet up, rather than talk about them all at once as I'm worried that if I do, I'll run out of things to say. I even do this with my parents and, on occasion, my husband (although he can always tell straight away when I'm doing it and thinks it dorkishly sweet).

Anyone else do this?

I usually can't get beyond thinking of one or two topics of conversation. This sounds like a good strategy--how do you think it works for you?

Generally pretty well, I just think of the kind of things that I know from past experience the person/people I'm meeting are interested in and prepare a few topics of conversation along those lines. It can be TV programmes, music, books or news stories. I sometimes do a bit of research on the net beforehand too if it's something I'm not that familiar with (i.e. find out who's in X Factor this year and who was last voted off).

It's nice to have something to fall back on if conversation starts drying up.

I do that too, but not as diligently. I will make an effort to read news articles so that I will have something to talk about. It doesn't always work, as the topic sometimes can't be fit into a conversation, and it usually runs out quickly. I think I need to make a more concerted effort, like you describe.

Most of the time, I just feel like I have nothing to say and it's frustrating to see people ramble on casually about this and that, when I find myself not capable of it.

I plan out telephoone conversations before I have them. I also do this with real life conversations but it often bakfires as I intterupt other people.

I used to do this quite often, it worked well for a while, I couldn't keep it up long term though. An easy one used to be football, I'd check out info a couple of hours before meeting up, I'd appear to show an interest just for the sake of having something to talk about that people could relate with. I enjoyed the socialising part but I'll never understand how people can enjoy talking about all the pointless details when it comes to football, yawn! (I wonder if they don't, maybe they do the same as me lol), I enjoy watching two great teams play & the entertainment factor but that's it. I don't really see that crowd anymore .

I used to find out about other topics of interest to others too, which a lot of the time I actually found intersting myself. At the moment I just talk about what I'm interested in when I can associate it with whatever we happen to be talking about (I latch onto some pretty long associations too lol) & then every so often interesting topics of conversation do actually come up. Maybe I should start doing this again though, I can take along topic cards next time, lol "here you go, pick a card any card!".

I do this too DiveClimb, I often find that the other person doesn't reply in the same way I'd imagined though, it can sometimes end up being a muddled up mess of disjointed conversation. Even so better than calling or meeting up with someone & being almost mute I guess.

A bit. The partner(s) in conversation usually choose the initial topic.

As I experience it a conversation goes in a introduction, main topics and ending.

In example:

Introduction:
I use daily topics to start a conversation and then ask questions based upon the answers:
-How somebody is doing
-Weather

Main topics:
More specificly on shared interests and public interests:
-Recent news topics (Politics, crazy/funny news, interest news)
-Sports
-Shared interests
-Partial shared interest (You like engines, the conversation partner likes cars)

Ending:
Preparing to leave the conversation, ending the conversation:
-(in a hurry) You need to go, but you want to talk later.
-Giving the regards to friends/family
-Saying goodbye
-Making a later appointment

Not all topics might apply to all people - moods, interests, standings, enviroment and conversation partners might alter the situation.

One important thingie: Keep it a dialog instead of a monolog - let the other person end it's sentences and ask questions and take intiative in continueing/changing the topic. Answer with room for others to ask questions about.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

I always have a number of topics as standard back up that i cycle through to see if they fit the current conversation and over the years i have built these up

trick is not using the same ones with the same people but i have a good memory for that

I used to do that when I was younger, but by the time I got to 11th grade, I was much better. Now that I'm older, I'm just as good as anyone else with conversation, and I learned something. If there isn't anything to talk about, then it's hard to find something to say, whether NT or not. Some people are chatterboxes, and can figure it out, but most people are not. Conversation isn't about topics, it's about conversation. Talking shouldn't be structured, because then it's not natural. When you try to force conversation, you know, to make yourself more "normal" then it becomes about topics. The more self-confidence you have, and the less you concern yourself with being like everyone else, the easier it is to make conversation.

I used to do this as well even though I'm not an aspie. Neurodiverse people tend to do this I would guess. I am on new anti psychotics and they have caused a shift in the way I interact with people. I still prefer conversations with a scientific bend to them. I like talking about science topics

I do this on here on WP.

I'm a total topic hoarder. Then, while the other person is talking, I'm constantly thinking "is this a good time?" and then I'll try to slip something in. It's usually not so smooth though.

I also do the planning out conversations before they happen thing.

yes i try to hoard topics but unless the conversation is good, lively, and reciprocated, then my brain goes to bits and i lose track of what i was talking about or want to talk about. obviously the people i have those experiences with are not around very much and or eventually lose contact with. but as i dont do much conversation outside of work or the few minutes of banter to fill the time (usually funny insignificant at the moment stuff), my social life is about as dead as jimmy hoffa. yay...me.

in order to remember all my talking points, i have to scribble 'em down on scraps of paper which are strewn about my living area, no real rhyme or reason to it. when i had appointments with shrinks, i'd have to prepare my "shrink rap" on a notepad, but i invariably forgot to bring it to the session, so i'd just stammer and hem and haw and get nothing useful out of the session, then i'd curse myself afterwards and find the notepad and angrily tear it into shreds and hurl it into the trash from across the room.