Do you find yourself 'hoarding' topics for conversation?

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I always meant to write things down for therapy sessions but felt too self-conscious about bringing a notepad with me, so didn't. I thought I'd be able to remember everything I needed to talk about but as soon as I go into an intense situation like that where I know I'll have to talk about private matters, my brain does the neurological equivalent of installing updates and everything goes blank.

Yes, but I usually only do it with certain people, and with certain topics (I've got a friend who's knowledgeable in science, frequently "hoard" scientific topics to talk to her about.)

No, my strategy revolves around improvisation. Usually letting other people talk is easiest anyway, and you can just listen and ask questions, and perhaps offer your perspective on whatever it is.

I try this too Moog but I'm naturally a very quiet person and find it very hard to initiate conversation, so when I'm around someone else who isn't talkative I prepare some test subjects to keep the conversation going. I also have problems concentrating on what other people are saying sometimes as things they mention can send my mind wandering off and it can be hard to keep it pinned down.

Wow, to me, that's a lot more work, remembering things to talk about like that.

My concentration is a lot better these days, do you have a meditation practice?

I think I probably do create a lot of unnecessary work for myself

I used to practice Chinkon meditation as part of Kempo although I've let that lapse recently. I find that running is the best form of meditation for me, especially where i am as I can run along the river where there aren't too many distractions. Something about the rhythm and the regulation of breathing just works for me. Do you meditate?

Oh yeah, don't get me started, it's my favourite subject!

I think it's a wonderful way to help improve concentration, especially helpful for people with ADHD or other attentional/concentration problems.

The kind of meditation I suggest to help aid concentration is where you bring your attention to a single thing and attempt to keep it there. When your focus wanders, bring it back... simple. Try it for five or ten minutes a day, and then try and bring that kind of concentration into your entire life.

Thanks for the tip Moog, I'm going to give it a go. Do you recommend using a visual aid to focus on, or just think of a particular thing (say an object or animal) and try and focus on that?

Hey Bunneth! I'm glad you're interested. I feel very strongly about the benefits of meditation, and I love to help other people achieve those same benefits.

You can use almost anything, but some objects work better than others. You can keep your attention trained on a candle flame, a spot on a wall, the physical sensation of your breath, a sound, a thought in your head... well, you get the idea. It's best to have something that is steady... the sound of music might be difficult, but the constant hum of a machine might be perfect.

In daily life, you don't often need 10 minutes solid concentration on a single thing, we tend to move attention around a lot, but it's really useful (and pleasurable) to be able to focus on what you want or need to focus on for as long as is desired.

I love talking to anyone who's really passionate about something as it always gets me motivated too.

I think I'll trying focusing on my breathing as that's what we used to do in Chinkon (in for 10 beats, out for 7) and it's what I found really worked for me.