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zukias
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12 Mar 2011, 9:35 pm

Hi, I'm 19 and in a situation where I find it very difficult to speak to people apart from immediate family. I can talk to 1 or 2 people if i'm for example just walking along to some place with them, but if we're actually standing there or sitting down facing each other and talking then its a no go zone. I also have major problem with eye contact, even with family, I just can't do it. Another thing I'm not great with is personal contact, i.e hugging will feel fake, and one thing I can't do for the life of me is compliments! If i compliment someone it will often come out sounding like sarcasm, or just bland and unnatural, but i very rarely compliment people because of this, which is something i really would like to start doing. :(

There are only very few people that i am actually 'capable' of making friends with. I have been at university for 2 years now and still haven't made any real friends, I am acquainted with 1 person from my course who i met online first. I also found the courage to join a society this year, while it was going great at first and I was being invited to things etc, I soon came to the point where I'd had enough. I have been ignoring phone calls from someone from the society, and ignoring texts because I just can't bare to go out with them anymore and be sitting in silence most the time, inside I do want to go out with them, but I just can't. When I'm alone like now, I just want to be out with people, but when i'm with people i just want to get out of the situation unless i'm drunk.

I have a history of just playing video games as a kid/teen, I can count the amount of times ive ever had people round my house as a kid with my fingers on one hand, all I would ever want to do as a kid is play video games, most of the time that's what would be on my mind. I'd also say my interests did get a bit obsessive at times as a child. i.e me and my brother covered half our bedroom wall with drawings of cars that we'd cut out and stuck there, and we would create almost whole fantasy worlds when we were kids ( i dont know how normal this is for kids?) which did carry on until a scarily late age.. ~16 :oops:

However there are also things which point away from me having Aspergers, i.e I understand a lot of people with Aspergers also have poor muscle tone because of dyspraxia being closely related with Aspergers which is something i am certain I don't have, I have good muscle tone, good spatial awareness and good motor skills (unless I've just woke up from bed. :D )
Neither do I consider myself to be sensitive to light or sound. I also understand 'complex' homour which I hear some people with aspergers have problems with, I've made plenty of jokes involving sarcasm and other 'clever' jokes in my time.

There is also something that may complicate the situation; I am an identical twin and we were in most of the same classes as children. This could have maybe made it harder to detect if we were somewhere on the autistic spectrum, but it could maybe also mean that the reason I am so rubbish at talking to people is because I never had enough practice with people other than my brother?

I also have quite bad problems with anxiety these days, could anxiety be producing 'symptoms' that may be mixed up as being 'autistic behaviour' or not? I'm curious if the two can be mixed up and produce similar signs/symptoms? Or if anxiety is a symptom of autistic spectrum disorders?


Anyway, I'm posting this here to get some responses off you guys & girls if you think it's worth me getting checked, or if i'm just over-thinking things, or whatever else you may have to say. Thanks a lot if you actually did manage to read through all that :P


P.S. whenever i referr to my brother i mean twin also, same thing, i only have 1 sibling.



zukias
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12 Mar 2011, 9:36 pm

O my god sorry that is longer than i thought haha



wavefreak58
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12 Mar 2011, 9:39 pm

zukias wrote:

Anyway, I'm posting this here to get some responses off you guys & girls if you think it's worth me getting checked, or if i'm just over-thinking things, or whatever else you may have to say. Thanks a lot if you actually did manage to read through all that :P


Well, the only reason you should "get checked" is if these things are causing you enough distress in your life that you need to "fix yourself" so to speak. Otherwise it's just a matter of personal curiosity.

Did you take any of the online tests? There's a link to a bunch of them in the sticky at the top of this forum.


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zukias
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12 Mar 2011, 9:46 pm

thanks i'll give the online tests a try, although from past experience of online tests I doubt it'l be too much use



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12 Mar 2011, 10:01 pm

zukias wrote:
I also understand 'complex' homour which I hear some people with aspergers have problems with, I've made plenty of jokes involving sarcasm and other 'clever' jokes in my time.


Hi Zukias,

I'm no expert, but I don't think being able to make sarcastic or clever jokes precludes you from AS.

Firstly, what we say and the manner we express it can just be funny to other people. Almost daily I'll make a comment that is not intended to be funny, but others will find it funny, or at least amusing. I don't mind because at least it provides me some sort of connection with other people.

Also, I believe there is a certain formula or logic to humour that you can work out. Many times when I intentionally make a joke, I don't necessarily find it funny myself, but I know other people might.

I'm reading a book about AS at the moment, and it makes a point of saying how Aspies can specifically find satire humourous (such as Monty Python, the Simpsons and South Park) which I guess qualifies as "complex humour".

As Wavefreak says, try the various online tests. Also do some reading about Asperger's. If the descriptions fit you more than not, you could be onto something.



wavefreak58
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12 Mar 2011, 10:44 pm

zukias wrote:
thanks i'll give the online tests a try, although from past experience of online tests I doubt it'l be too much use


Online tests are far from definitive, but they aren't entirely useless. They are just another data point on the graph.


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zukias
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12 Mar 2011, 11:39 pm

hmm i guess so, I'm sure diagnostic tests they use for diagnosis are just as useless, especially with the british healthcare system...

What do they do if I go and ask to be checked for AS? It'l take me months before I find the courage to go I just know it :/



JSMC
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13 Mar 2011, 12:47 am

AS is complicated and online test will ask you question about how you behave. You'll see a patern that will lead you to know more about yourself. If you think you have a lot of the traits, you could do a list on what those traits influenced your life. I've had 3 rdv with 3 different specialist and no one could tell me what I have, simply because I have a hard time to express my feeling face to face.

After the last appointment, my neuro said that if I had AS, it would be a mild one. I wasn't happy with his conclusion so I wrote a 11 page document listing all the impairements that I had in my life + 2 tests I passed online and sent him via email. He recommended me to a well known psychiatrist specialised in autistic spectrum, he said that my difficulties were beyond his competence. See how complicated AS is! My neuro's thoughts went from : "you don't look like an asperger" to "go get the best help available"! Just because I was able to communicate my problems I want to get through.

So you first need to know yourself better, then see how it troubled your life and if you think you need help to pass those problems, go get it! The longer you wait, the deeper thoses trouble will get. I talk from experience! Ain't that an aspie traits anyway ! !