I told my mother she shared some of my AS traits...

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She told me, "I refuse to believe I am diseased." This truly hurt my feelings. Something about my own mother describing the way I am as "diseased" or a "disorder" just struck me the wrong way. Has anybody else had a similar experience with a family member who knows you have AS?

I asked my mum if she thought that there should be a cure for autism. She said, "I think that there should be a cure for every illness, so that everyone can live their lives in peace." I got my nerve up and said, "I love my autism. I love my special interests and the quirks that come along with them." (Imagine the quirks that a Kinks Fan would have). I also wrote an article for my local paper, about protecting unborn autistic children, and that I don't feel that we should be cured and that everybody should be accepted, so that everybody could live their lives in peace. I don't look like a rebel on the surface, with my 60s hair and Mick Avory's face, but if somebody says something that I disagree with, I will counteract their opinion, when it comes to a hot topic like autism.

CockneyRebel, I really admire you.

I am still trying to accept myself for who/what I am. Too many times when I am doing something I start wondering if this is the right way of doing whatever it is that I am doing. Would someone else do it differently. Then I recall all those times my mother would come over and let me know that I do not know what I am doing, and she'll do it so that I don't make a mistake. This happens everyday. Right now I am even thinking "Does this sound too weird. Would someone else from the site be willing to let other people know that much about themselves".

irene

I think your mother was expressing her own insecurities about herself. She may not have realized how hurtful her statement was to you. I'm not excusing her, but it might help to see it from her perspective.

It would seem that your mother's comment is another shared trait of spectrum-ites - blunt, direct, and insufficient awareness of the hurtful content in her words.

You never tell a Neurotypical that they have Autistic traits, it threatens their ego and makes them go into stupid mode.

my dad is the stereotypical aspie
he's an engineer, but he is doing well.

So I wouldn't think of telling him he has anything, just because I wouldn't want to disrupt his flow or routine with the thoughts of being autistic though I don't think he would believe it anyways nor spend the time to research it. I'm not sure how he would react, probably in a negative way. When my mom told him I was researching aspergers and or autism he told me I don't have a disease. Which is true, if I do have aspergers or anything similar- it would be a disorder not a disease. So I guess in a way that was kind of a similar reaction.

I told my dad he might well be an aspie, he didn't like it. I let it go. My mum was much more open, she even took the online test, and spoke to her doctor about it.

I recommend that you think very long and hard about how you present this information to people you suspect might be on the spectrum.

My mom will get mad if I point out her traits so I keep my mouth shut, same as if she acts like an aspie. Right now I think the traits are due to the side effect of the drugs to fight her cancer so she has had real sensitive smell and didn't like the crowds at the mall and she is more sensitive to noise.

I also tried telling my sister in law the other day that I thought I had AS. I couldn't even explain the traits to her because in her mind there was NO WAY somebody as smart as me could be autistic. I ended up giving up on trying to explain to her that many people with AS had average/above average intelligence. In her mind being autistic meant being mentally disabled.

My social graces are a lot better than those of my NT family members and yet I'm the one who needs extensive pragmatics therapy that amounts to nothing.

Neurotypicals feel threatened by things they don't understand, us Aspies scare them to death.