Does this irritate you as much as it does me?

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Do you hate the way 'normal' people just seem to vanish with no explination or politeness? Its like you can do so many nice things for NT/normal people and try your very best to help them out but at the end of the day they will just end up vanishing into thin air with no explination at all.

I assume other people with mental health disorders like borderline or schiziod personality amongst many others have experienced these negative experiences with non disorder people. Even if they are skilled communicators they just cannot make that extra connection to the majority of people. Aspies as well are esspecially prone to this type of treatment.

Do you think as well we just come across as unpleasent and rude even if we try our very best to act nice?

Don't get me wrong normal people have experiences like this but nowhere near as much as neuro diverse people do.

Often people online will talk to me and then all of a sudden I don't ever see them again. They never come online or they just ignore my IMs or PMs. I am starting to get tired of it but I would hate to not talk to any new people ever again. Real life, not so much because I don't make any new friends and I don't ever go out to meet new people.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong or if it's something else and it could be them and not me.

Even when you try your VERY best to make a connection with normal its just like fighting a losing battle. As far as I am concerned there the ones who give us the cold shoulder when we try and be nice and civil to them.

So, you were with someone you just met, they told you they had to go do something and you never saw them again? I've experienced that sort of thing. You know what gets me? I have gone to clubs where someone will ask me to dance with them, then they tell me they have to go to the restroom and they will pull the disappearing act, when it wasn't even me who asked them to dance. It's really confusing. Why would someone ask someone else to dance and then disappear like I was the one imposing on them? Maybe, in their minds, they twist it around and believe it was me who wanted to be with them more than they wanted to be with me. Sometimes, people project and rationalize. Or maybe they thought I didn't like them and felt rejected. Who knows?

Indeed in the normal world that normal people inhabit is too complex for our aspie minds to comprehend.

With me it seems to depend on whether they know that I am an Aspie. I don't have any problems with people who do NOT know about my AS, but those very, very few who I have told are another matter. Most of them will just simply cut off any and all communication.

Once upon a time, I had a friend who suffered from low self-esteem and tried to validate herself through promiscuous sex. And I call it "promiscuous" because she wasn't having sex with these people because she wanted to really have sex with them. She was trying to fulfill some kind of desire or void in her that she'd already associated with sex but, unfortunately, sex just couldn't be any more than sex so it wasn't what she needed. It's an awful cycle. We all have crap to deal with. That was her crap.

She had my full support, of course. She was a friend. I understood who she was and didn't judge her when she messed around on her boyfriend. I didn't judge her when she flirted with and hit on my husband (she started this just after he and I had moved in together and even after we got married). I babysat her daughter on Friday nights because she wanted to go out partying. Well, officially, I babysat her daughter on Friday nights because she had a class... which she originally did have a college class that night... but soon decided to drop out of college altogether and just use that excuse to keep me babysitting her daughter. I would've done it if she told me the truth but she probably felt bad because she'd quit college for a social life and knew that wasn't the best decision for her. Again, I wouldn't judge her but I'm sure she felt that if she didn't tell anyone about her bad decision then it didn't really count as a bad decision.

When I called her to tell her that I was pregnant (and this was good news), she didn't sound as happy as I was. I understood that she just lost her drinking buddy and was probably feeling guilty that she'd been trying to sleep with the father of my unborn baby... because that was also her, she'd feel so guilty for doing something she knew wasn't right. Mind you, I wasn't mad at her. I knew this was just a part of her and I accepted her for who she was. I knew my husband wouldn't allow the advances to manifest into anything so there was little threat there. Plus, he was actually interested in her before he met me but she wouldn't give him the time of day. He knew her attraction was based only on him being with me. But since she didn't know that I knew that she'd been trying to score with him, I couldn't tell her that I wasn't upset. I couldn't preemptively resolve her problems with me being pregnant in our friendship without her telling me what her problems were.

She ended up never speaking to me again after that phone call.

My husband says she was using me. I can see where he would think so. But I just accepted her the way that she was, flaws and all. I remember when she got so mad at a mutual friend because the mutual friend judged her for cheating on her former boyfriend. The mutual friend actually quit spending time with her because of that. I didn't think it was necessary to judge her. I'm sure there's plenty to judge me for and she never judged me. She was very nice and fun to spend time with. She updated my fashion and taught me how to find my own style. We could both drink men under the table. She was always cool to my kids and I loved her daughter, too. We just clicked. It was a friendship. But, being the way that she was, she disappeared. And, like I told my husband, if she ever reappeared, she'd still be welcome in my home.

Sometimes you just have to let people be the way that they are.

It's not just a 'normal' person thing - I'm diagnosed with AS and I do it to other people all the time. It's one of my biggest flaws. The reason I do it is because I want to cut ties with people before I get too emotionally attached to them and they wind up hurting me.