What assumptions do NTs make about you that you HATE?!

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people are way too paranoid about that sort of thing.

and by that sort of thing I mean things like random shootings and killings.

The news media has way too much power.

and yes I often don't get criticized when I admit Im autistic.

Since Im so high functioning its usually not even a conversation topic until I bring it up.

It's a private message on a private forum.

It's part of a conversation I was having with someone before I realized that it's healthier to just walk away.

I'll just say it probably has a lot to do with how I interpret/respond to language and react to people who read things into what I say and write being interpreted as me being manipulative, defensive, and I don't even know what else. That, basically, my communication deficits are signs of particularly negative behaviors, given that this was the subject to begin with.

Last edited by Verdandi on 11 Mar 2011, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

THIS.

It's very recently my mother realized I wasn't being "obstinate" on purpose.
Only took 22 years. >.>

Sometimes my friends don't seem to think I have HFA or comment that I seem a lot better off than our other friends on the spectrum (I have a large group of friends who have somehow magnetized quite a big group of aspies/auties) and generally say that my habits are a lot easier to deal with. Although this is partially b/c some of our aspie friends appear to be regressing rather than progressing socially. I sometimes get the feeling they might use me as the model of which people on the spectrum are actually TRYING to cope with their issues and which are not (unfortunately, I do have friends who really seem like they aren't trying to learn to deal with things).

I meant in person. I "talk" a lot more online. And I say things on this site that I've never said anywhere, online or off.

Correct response: "Only if you keep asking me stupid questions."

People assume:

• That I have no emotions.
• That because I don't talk (or don't talk very much) I must be stuck-up and think I'm better than other people.
• That I can't drive.
• That I'm not very smart.
• That I'm very very very smart and so must know *everything*.
• That I'm dangerous.
• That I'm faking or exaggerating.
• That I can't live by myself.

The assumption I hate most is that because I've survived into adulthood and seem relatively normal on the surface, that I haven't got a real problem, therefore if I can't perform to expectations, its just because I'm an @$$#0le making excuses.

I would have just thought they are all rude and they are not teaching their kids manners and they might grow up to be rude too because they were never taught as children.

To be annoyed by an NT assumption I would have to have some sense of what they are actually thinking. I get annoyed a lot by specified things people do, but I seem to have very little sense of what they assume.

I guess I get most annoyed when I find out that something I assume isn't even close to what other people think.

People tell me stuff like this:

You don't look autistic.
You don't sound autistic.
You articulate so well.
You seem very intelligent.
You seem to care too much about your appereance to be autistic.
I would never have guessed.
You smell so clean. Most autistics stink.
You look like someone famous, therefore you're not autistic. (When the person that I look like could have it).
But you graduated from High School! (Along with three other teens with AS).
You're working part time. (I went to a college programme with a man who's more affected than I am, and he works full time).

I have never gotten this from people except I know one aspie on another forum who claims he recovered from it. Well he has given me BS about it and acts like he doesn't even know what it is nor understand it. He acts like I take things literal on purpose because he tells me to stop it and because I am not good at reading people, there is no way I would know someone took something the wrong way or thinks since I know people have their own definitions of words, I am bullshitting about not even knowing what someone was thinking and I am capable. hello I never said I was incapable. I am just slow in realizing things. I guess that's also part of having AS, we are just slower than others in figuring stuff out.

Also when I was 21, my ex's grandparents thought I didn't like them because I didn't talk to them. That was the first time ever I got that. He told me that is what they think and I said that was ridiculous. I still don't understand that assumption people make. Same as thinking you you think are better than others just because you are alone. I don't know if anyone has ever thought that of me but my mom mentioned it to me when I was 14. She told me if I don't sit with kids at lunch, they might think I think I'm better than them and when I told her that was so stupid to say that she told me that is what kids told her when she was in her teens when she started sitting with them. They said to her they thought she thought she is better than them and she said she was just shy to sit with anyone. I then thought those kids were dumb for even thinking that.

I also don't like it when people make assumptions about what I can't do and assume I will struggle with this or that. They act like I am worse off than I really am. Even in high school, teachers have tried to hold me back such as learning to drive or doing drama or telling me I can't work at fast food because of all the noise and chaos and having to work fast. Even kids acted like I was retarded or something but yet they said I was very smart.

I got it from my own husband and he was serious. He said he wanted to read about AS when we first met because he wanted to be sure I wouldn't be chasing him with a knife. I just started laughing because it was a stupid idea and he said he was serious and I told him why would he get that dumb idea and he said he didn't know what it was. He acted like AS was schizophrenia or something or some psychotic condition. That was the most absurd assumption ever. It didn't really bother me but it was funny. I can't remember if he read about it before we met or after but he asked his online friend about it and she emailed him her paper she was writing on autism. Then he told me he wanted to be sure I wasn't going to be chasing him with a knife when I asked why he wanted to look it up.

I dont have a problem with sharing this info with most people but Im still better at sharing some difficulties rather than just telling them about AS.Sometimes I have found this to be a more direct approach of a specific thing that comes up and may have to be explain and because it presents a direct example of an issue, then its easier for people to grasp it and none of the associated possible stigma is included in the process and neither is their lack of knowledge on AS.

For example, when someone expresses something that I may suspect has double meaning, then I will immediately approach that and ask them what they meant and add that I dont always understand that.I have noticed that people react to this in a friendly way and simply explain it to me.They dont judge, or atleast not in a way that I am aware of.Next time something comes up, I bring it up again, and so on, and that way, they create an image of what AS is.At a certain point, I will mention AS, but I like to ease people into it and present it to them in small, friendly ways, before I throw the diagnosis in their face.That way, they are more likely to not have an overly strange reaction to it, and also I can always go ask them to think about a certain incident that has happened, and in wich something was brought up and say" remember when I said that thing about double meanings?" and a few other things,they will remember and I can say, " well, thats part of what AS can be" and they say" Oh, I get it".

Basically real life examples, communication and refering to real life examples is what has worked best for me.