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linatet
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21 Apr 2014, 8:51 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
I never think to lie. It just doesn't occur to me. I don't have a need to.
Simple life.

Now, when I was drinking, that was a different story but my lies weren't so much lies as. .. conditioning:

Partner: Have you been drinking again?
Me: Yes!
Partner hits me in the head!

Partner: Have you been drinking again?
Me: Yes!
Partner hits me in the head!

Partner: Have you been drinking again?
Me: ... No?

:lmao:



inachildsmind
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21 Apr 2014, 10:36 am

I have learned that people tend to base much on observation. So if I know something is a FACT I will lie to say I have witnessed it and get as close to the example I have observed to make it match the point I am trying to prove. I do not usually lie just to lie. In my past marriage I would be very blunt on things and point out things that I knew he was doing for me, it would make him upset and he stopped doing nice things for me, So with this new relationship, if I see him doing something ex: he left the night before easter and came back with nothing. Then at 2 in the morning I saw him coming in the home with a bag but I acted like I did not see it, In the morning their was candy in my easter basket. I lied and told him I had no idea and I thanked him for the gifts. I just read situations. If I feel it meets the criteria of a similar experience that hurt someone or someone did not listen to me, then I will go with a lie.



ZombieBrideXD
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21 Apr 2014, 10:46 am

i lie, id just rather not


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inachildsmind
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21 Apr 2014, 2:10 pm

Bodyles wrote:
I find myself compelled to speak what I believe to be the truth all the time, whether I want to or not.
Lying feels wrong and uncomfortable for me in a very visceral way, and I realy, really don't like to.
However, sometimes the consequences of being truthful make lying seem necessary, and so I do & can lie when it seems like I really have to.
I don't think that makes those lies any better or les abhorrent, but in the end, we all do what we think necessary.


I find it harder to lie if someone asks me a straight question. If I am trying to get someone to understand something, i may come up with an example that never really happened just so they can take me seriously.



Minionkitty
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21 Apr 2014, 2:18 pm

I had to learn to lie. I didn't know how until I met my current best friend. She taught me how to. Now I lie occasionally.


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littlebee
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21 Apr 2014, 3:54 pm

I guess I might as well write something. What happened is I had two windows open to WP and was originally first going to post on this thread, but decided not to post that message right now and maybe not on this thread, and then posted the other message on this thread by mistake.

The following has nothing overtly to do with what I was going to say, though connected to it, but, in short, the worst thing is to be lying to oneself and not even know it, and to think/feel that this lie is the truth and even feel self righteous about it when really it is not, and even worse, to then impose this truth upon other people and make them conform to it. This warps the entire world in such a way that a certain quality of honesty and purity which most of us from deep in our hearts are striving for in relationship cannot get through



Azereiah
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21 Apr 2014, 4:47 pm

I'm incapable of holding a lie for a long period of time. I cannot manipulate anybody except by clever reworking of the truth.

I can, and often do, however, tell minor lies and downplay or exaggerate things to push a situation in a direction I approve of.



Drehmaschine
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22 Apr 2014, 11:22 am

Everyone tells false-truths. Even not giving details about a situation is a form of deception.



SailorSaiyan93
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24 Aug 2016, 6:07 pm

I know that personally, I can't lie or hold my tongue about anything. I myself am heavily affected by what people say, so I try to make it as polite and encouraging as I can, but I must speak what I feel or the truth on a matter when it comes to certain things as the situations vary (such as which game in the Mario series is the best isn't a topic with solid facts, but rather based on opinion).
I also can't lie because I have a massive amount of guilt that comes over in doing so. I once lied that I scratched my shoulder accidentally when in reality, I did it on purpose and didn't want to tell my mother because I feel that I'm enough of a burden as it is, the situation my family's in now doesn't need my crap thrown in as well on them.



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25 Aug 2016, 6:22 am

I can't lie, and I won't be forced to. It always disturbs me how most people lie constantly for no reason and get sh***y when I won't lie.
I don't, however, spray out everything in my head uncontrollably. I don't perceive maintaining one's own personal privacy or keeping confidentiality as "lying by omission."


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Lorrent
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13 Jul 2018, 3:25 am

C2V wrote:
It always disturbs me how most people lie constantly for no reason and get sh***y when I won't lie.


Some people just want to be lied to. It‘s ridiculous.

I didn‘t lie alot when I was a child, I was a pretty bad lier. I can tell lies now. I assume it’s a learned behavior. Sometimes, I even do it automatically, but I pretty much hate myself when I‘m doing it.

I don‘t want to generalize, but I don‘t understand why some women want to be lied at. „How does this dress look on me?“ I don‘t understand it. Fortunately, I can tell white lies now.


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auntblabby
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13 Jul 2018, 4:10 am

people simultaneously want to be excused from trouble, and to be reassured in the process. that is the utility of the "little white lie."



nick007
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13 Jul 2018, 6:45 am

I'm fairly good at lying. I was in trouble aLOT as a kid because of my various issues & bullies lying on me to get me in trouble. I eventually learned that lies can be more believable than the truth sometimes & I started lying to come up with more believable explanations for things to avoid being in trouble or embarrassed. I don't lie a whole lot but I can lie if I feel the need & have a chance to think. I also have been accused of being manipulative but I was not accused of being manipulative by lying. I've been told I get away with being lazy by making others believe I have problems doing things for myself that I'm capable of doing. & when I was depressed & kept talking about it, I was accused of being manipulative for attention.


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LisaM1031
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13 Jul 2018, 2:02 pm

I don’t think it’s that we’re incapable of lying at all. I just think that the neurotypical social world in general is very phony with a lot of people engaging in constant role playing, deception and “playing the game.” This is something that people on the spectrum are not wired for. It’s not that we’re incapable of telling even a single lie. It just may seem that way to a lot of neurotypicals who tend to lie almost by default, telling others what they want to hear and constantly remolding their personalities to different situations. To most people this is the “norm.” However, I always found this to be very inauthentic behavior and a sign of narcissism.



nephets
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13 Jul 2018, 2:13 pm

I think we can learn to lie and when we discover NT's are so dependent on facial expression to decide if you are honest or not, we can learn to manipulate them, as well. I suppose we have to, really. How often have you had to feign interest in some trivial crap that an NT is concerned about? Basically, we learn to tell people what we want them to believe. They need to be shielded from how icily logical we can be.



green0star
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13 Jul 2018, 4:45 pm

Anyone can lie but its a matter of being good at it. Most autistics are not really good at it. I know I'm not good at lying for anything