Asperger's and lying ...
That's mindblindness as well? I thought it was ... normal.
I have trouble lying directly, because I get nervous, make more eye-contact that usually, my eyes also drift to the left. My whole self-experience changes and I suddenly feel like 'I' am very small and my body is a shell, and I have no idea how this shows.
I however am good at omitting part of the truth and leaving gaps that other people usually fill with what they assume has to be there. When talking to other people, I often pause to rearrange my thoughts and my conversation partners often suggest what they think might be the word I was looking for. I don't know if this behaviour is common everywhere, but it is very common where I grew up, and it's a way to show you're being attentive. So, when I don't want to tell the truth about something I use this behaviour by pausing when I don't need to think, and usually the other person 'helps me out' by finishing the sentence with what they think should be there. I do this to avoid confrontation and in the hope that it buys me time to fix whatever was wrong. Often it does, sometimes it doesn't.
I lie a lot more than I want to because I don't have the guts to tell the truth and face the anger or disappointment of other people (with me, but also with the situation or with other people.)
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My name is BUPANTS and I'm a superhero.
Also: http://languagelearners.myfastforum.org
This is a very interesting thread.
My son, who is the most moral, rational, rule-loving person in the world, has absolutely NO PROBLEM lieing to me when it has to do with school responsibilities that he hasn't kept up with. He's good at it, too. He's totally believable.
What I can't figure out is how it benefits him. It hasn't been much of a problem until this year (he's 13, and in 8th grade) when the school expectations have just skyrocketed. Most assignments are online, and we check online constantly, so we know when most things are due -- and if not that, we know when they are late. This is a very real problem, and as a result of his lieing constantly about assignments (and they are usually in English class, the one that he finds the most difficult) we are having to ratchet up the consequences, mostly just having him write lists, check his backpack, check online for missed assignments and check online for homework expectations. It's exhausting for everyone. I hope 9th grade is easier (I hear that it is)!
that is a brilliant thought. you can't get to the truth without the truth, if you are more minded toward discovery of course you are going to value truth. eppur si muove and all that.
I think that is a very succinct way of putting it. I think a neurotypical way of being is to work with what is at hand. a spectrum way might be that what is at hand is not acceptable or desirable. My mother used to drive me crazy with "that's just the way it is" as if people weren't actively engaged in making 'it' that way.
I think an aspie can lie, and it seems to be a bit of concern on some parent forums regarding asperger's, where they are becoming more concerned with their aspie teens lying straight to their faces. I think an aspie can lie better than an NT because of the lack of emotion, thus coming off straight-faced. On the other hand, I don't think an aspie can effectively manipulate someone with a lie for a very long period of time, for that requires far more advanced social skills.
I can lie myself, but was never really good at it. I ended up getting caught quite often, and my parents, mostly my mother, has always said that she can tell when I lie by emotional expressions. I tend to laugh on doing so, as if I want to get caught, but I have usually only lied when wanting things to be a bit more joyous around me. I sometimes feel uneasy in situations where people tend to appear to be more agitated or concerned. So, I sort of lied and then laughed, and the lies were usually bizarre anyway. It's just that I did it enough in school for people to start talking to me about crying wolf. I was sort of known for telling outrageous stories.
- Ray M -
for me personally, im a outstanding lier, manly because i rarely lie, i only lie to get my self or some one else out of trouble, being considered a honest person is the greatest tool for a lier.
im also a entp, which is aka the lawyer type :P
_________________
Kill a man and you?re a murderer. Kill many and you?re a hero. Kill them all you?re favored by the gods. ?or dangerously unbalanced-
I constantly got accused of lying when I was a kid, even though I was telling the truth. The way I was brought up, if you could not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were telling the truth, it counted the same as lying. This came back to cause tons of problems as an adult, even today. I've lost jobs; been confronted by a crazed, overzealous police detective; and generally gotten a lot of people mad at me. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've told the truth but felt like I was lying, and I'm sure the NTs all read my body language as that of a liar.
One way to send me dangerously close to an instant meltdown is merely to accuse me of doing something I didn't do. I immediately feel guilty even though I'm innocent, and I start nervously fidgeting, decreasing the amount of eye contact, stammering, and showing other behaviors that I believe most people associate with someone who is lying.
Anything even remotely resembling a cross-examination sends me over the edge as well.
The irony of it is, I am one of those people who tells the truth in such detail that I end up screwing myself over by giving out too much information and therefore giving my opposition too much ammo to work with.
my ex best friend /ex occasional friend with benefits (male aspie) lies to me all the time.
he lies about his whereabouts, lies about his activities, lies about staying in school (after he dropped out),lies about love, lies about sexual desire, lies about previous lies, lies about lying. it's all bad here for me as a person who cares for him. i'm not contacting him at all right now. see if he notices.
he lies about his whereabouts, lies about his activities, lies about staying in school (after he dropped out),lies about love, lies about sexual desire, lies about previous lies, lies about lying. it's all bad here for me as a person who cares for him. i'm not contacting him at all right now. see if he notices.
stop being dumb O.o. you bin complaining about the same guy in almost every single post you have made in these forums. if this guy got so under your skin that every thing that you think about is how hes pissing you off, i think its time you got over your self and say f**k him. (not in that way) my advice for you, cut him off if he troubles you so much, ether that or your trolling.
but ya in closing, some guy you use to love, is now a guy you cant stand, stop dealing with him, ignore him find new friends / love interest and move on.
p.s. sorry for my harshness, but if you going to necro a year old thread long forgotten to use as a platform to tell the world how your ex bf sucks, you needed it bluntly :P
_________________
Kill a man and you?re a murderer. Kill many and you?re a hero. Kill them all you?re favored by the gods. ?or dangerously unbalanced-
AKindOfJareth
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 48
Location: Long Island, NY
I'm very opposed to lying myself. I can do it but i hate it. To me people just don't warrant lowering myself like that. Better I give them the truth even if it embarrasses me. I'll sleep better.
There was a time when I was younger that I would lie to preserve my public image. Don't care much about that today.
I do not like to lie at all and I find it reprehensible. I find omissions of facts to be lies as well.
That said, I certainly CAN lie and pull the wool over peoples' eyes easily. But I choose not to.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
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