How do you recognise someone with aspergers?

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I work at a health club, and there was a customer that came to the front desk to ask for a refund for a friend who lost their money in a soda machine. He was almost in a panic, and his friend came up and reassured him that it was OK, that he got his money. Because of the reaction over something that I consider small, and probably some other stuff I noticed unconsciously, I suspected something neurological. The second time he came in he was talking about a TV station he saw in the gym. He told me that he loved that channel and that he wanted to work for them he was so excited about it. At that time I started paying attention and really listening to him, suspecting AS. It just was a feeling I had. He had no movement or speech pattern I found different, I didn't notice any sensory issues, it was just his personality.

Over time I have gotten to know him and he is really a sweet guy, and he has not mentioned anything, however he has referred to his "gift" and how sometimes it's good and sometimes it's hard to live with, and he speaks some about how his mind works and how he thinks. (He is very comfortable with me.) He's obsessive and has told me he gets obsessive about things, he has eye contact about half the time and you can see him really working to look at you, he has an INCREDIBLE memory, particularly about dates and events and times, he's very specific, (I left at 6:02 and arrived at 7:36), his conversations are mostly one sided, sometimes it's reciprical but you really have to work at it and it has to be in his interest and the reciprical part is very brief. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them right now. He is very social and loves people, and goes often where people are welcoming. Many people think he's a little too friendly and deal with him with caution, but I really believe he is totally harmless and a really nice person. He reminds me a lot of my son and I'm positive he has AS or some form of autism.

I secretly wish he would tell me he has AS because I would love to ask him questions, but I don't want to pry and I want to be respectful. I sometimes ask him questions, but not in that context. The previous poster mentioned asking the person, but I wonder if that would be rude? I sometimes wonder too if he knows that I know, but hasn't said anything since he is so open about how his mind works. He's only that way with me, not my other co workers.

He is the only adult that I have met with autism that I know of. My husband is the closest, but I don't think he would get a diagnosis.

the reason I ask is because I reckon that others just see me as a bit odd, a bit quiet, a bit rude, a bit awkward now but when i was at school i guess i seemed very wierd, very quiet, very cold, insensitive and aloof etc. Then again i have been trying to fix me for a few years (since long before i heard of as). I am a 'trying to work out if I have it) person.

BonnieBlueWater, what do you mean "social context of the conversation"?

Physical signs: An odd gait, looking around a room, stimming (repetitive movements with fingers/hands/arms), blank eyes, may not know how close to stand, sometime a look of confusion, lack of or exaggerated facial expressions, speaking with an accent that doesn't suit them (we're good at mimicking other accents), odd clothing (usually not following today's fashion or dressing the same everyday or at least similar).

Behavioral: A high level of knowledge in narrow areas, talking more about interests than having a one on one conversation, failing to pick up non verbal body language and tone of voice, sudden outbursts while at other times appearing to have little emotion, doesn't share feelings or shares too much personal information.

For kids I would say lack of eye contact, staring at walls/ceilings/ floors, stimming, peers rejecting them, bright but may not want to do their homework or excels in schoolwork, curious about their environment, seems obsessed about their interests, trouble sleeping, food sensitivities or aversions, sensory sensitivity or sensory seeking, acting a few years younger than peers, a different style of dress than their peers, get along with a different age group than their own.