How close are you with your family?
I'm closer to my mom than anyone else, but we don't really spend much time together. She does not really understand me, but she is one of the only people who actually tries. My dad has been really busy the past 3 years , almost to the point where I hardly even know him anymore. He hardly ever sees the rest of us (he is on the other side of the world right now), and when he gets to come home for a few weeks at a time he goes crazy. I can't get him to shut up, and he doesn't stay out of my business. He can be hilarious at times, and fun to be around, but after being distant for so long whenever I do see him I just want him to leave me alone. I would describe it as a bit overloading.
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Remember, all atrocities begin in a sensible place.
I get along well with my mom, who tries so hard to understand me, although she just can't do it. The only times I can't stand her are when she gets desperate and pretends to actually relate to my social issues when she clearly doesn't. My dad is very busy and stressed out, but we watch X-Files together every night and spar over politics. I can relate to my younger brother some because of his obsession with dinosaurs and star wars, but now I finally understand why people didn't like being around me after I had just read a new dinosaur book. He also annoys me by being very manipulative and self-centered, but I still love him.
Not close in the slightest with my family.
My fathers family are snobs, my mothers family are common. So, I'm too common for my fathers family and too posh for my mothers family - my fathers family disowned me when my parents got divorced and totally ignore me since my father died, I wouldn't even know them to pass them in the street. My mothers family saw my being a mute as a kid as my being a snob, they also had my mother telling them I was a horrible kid so they believe that too. I have a half-brother but I've not been able to find any record of him, saying as he's not even tried to contact our father since 1996 and that our father is dead, I doubt he's interested enough to try to find me.
My only immediate family is my mother has always been very abusive, she shows no interest in anything going on in my life what-so-ever to the point of selective hearing when I stupidly try to share anything with her, there has never been anything close to a mother daughter relationship, she's just someone I know and that's that...it wouldn't be too big a problem if I never talked to her again, I've contemplated cutting her out of my life a few times but I just can't bring myself to do it to her no matter how much I dislike her.
I have no sort of relationship with any of my family, the idea of that sort of relationship is totally alien to me.
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Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
At this particular moment in my evolution, I probably like my brother the most. And it's not even that we have a super-close relationship ... maybe that's what I like. I see him a few times a year and we e-mail each other every couple of months. But they're good e-mails that really say what's going on with our lives.
My parents ... well, that's a tough one. They mean well and they have done A LOT for me in my life, but they missed so much or down-played everything about my autism/AS symptoms ... "You'll grow out of fainting" ... "Stop being a hypochondriac" ... "You're just shy." And now that I'm older, they're always trying to get into my head. They don't understand much about me and yet they want to know it all. I finally told them to back off a few months back and it seems a little better. But there's so much history ... I just wish they'd leave me the hell alone and dote on my kids.
My younger sister is OK, but she's a social butterfly and we really don't get each other.
I'm close with my entire immediate family, and absolutely none of my extended family.
Both my parents have always treated me and my siblings with respect and given us opportunities to make our own decisions, while at the same time giving us the support we need. Two out of three of my siblings are also on the spectrum and I can recall long talks about how to cope with different things and speak to others. However, they were never lectures, more of a Socratic forum. Although we are all "adults" now, we still usually go out to dinner together once a week and have a fun time cutting up and stuff. My dad can also tell when I'm people'd out and both my parents deal with our quirks quite well.
My older brother is probably the one I am least close to. He is probably the one closest to the autism side of the spectrum. Although we were very close when we were children, as he is no longer living with us, so out of sight is out of mind, as they say. But I still love him dearly.
My younger brother is my best friend. We are only 19 months apart. Although he has some sensory issues, he is brilliant with people and is my "guide NT." If I have a question regarding someone's behavior, I will usually go to him. He just has always been there to protect and take care of me. We have always done everything together and I feel like I probably would have been lost without him. He is probably the only reason my aspergers does not impair me from doing anything.
My sister takes a lot of work to be friends with, but I try. While my brother and I on the spectrum usually try not to make a big deal out of things, she will certainly tell you if something is not "right." We are completely different and our personalities have collided more times than I can count. But I love her and she is fun to talk to and stuff. It is nice to have a built in person to go shopping with, talk about guys, and such when the mood hits. I feel like I've learned a lot about her from reading this site.
MakaylaTheAspie
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Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age:19
Posts: 14,715
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)
Pretty much the same here only its 99.99% for my mom and 0.01% for my dad.
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I would say that I am not particularly close to my immediately family, I'm living with my parents currently but I don't really feel like I have a real connection to them like some people describe. I respect them and think they are good people, but from a relation-level I don't really feel any sort of 'click' I guess... never really had... I think I am just more indifferent about my family.
My mom is the only person in my family that I can actually have just random social 'chit-chat' with... I think partly because I feel comfortable around her and partly because she is just really damn good at 'chit-chat', so even when I don't know what to say she can keep things going. On the other hand I cannot stand getting in any sort of disagreement with her, she doesn't use logic when it comes to arguments and half the time I just can't follow her side of an argument what-so-ever. ("Well I think its wrong because I don't like it" <- what?!?????!?)
My dad is sort of more like me I think. We don't ever talk about anything close to what my mom and I talk about, every conversation I have with my dad is much more technical. He is a pretty logical thinker and has a good depth and breadth of knowledge so I feel like I can learn something when I talk to him.
My sister is quite a bit like my mom, she is very outgoing. I don't see her or talk to her all that often though. A few years ago we kind of tried to be better 'friends' but it just turns out that we really are just kind of complete opposites. Everytime I see her or talk to her it seems like its always just an awkward situation.
I respect all my family I just don't feel that connected to them. They all seem much more tight knit that I ever could be with them.
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((12+144+20+3*(4^(1/2)))/7)+5*11 = (9^2) + 0
My mom and I were never very close. I wasn't that interested in anyone's companionship and I think it made her very sad. She died when I was 9. It makes me feel bad now, I hope that the good times we did have let her know that I did love her. I couldn't make myself cry when she died, and I think it was part of what pushed my dad away. We were close when I was little, I was very much "daddy's girl". After mom died, it changed. My dad remarried when I was eleven. She was an evil child abusing bi@#$. She made my life an absolute hell (and blamed me for it) until I was 16, when I left and moved in with a friend. My dad never did anything to stop her, and denied that any of it ever happened. I have two younger siblings that I barely know. I am closest to my older brother, but he and I have drifted apart over the years. My extended family on my mom's side stopped having any contact with me after my mom died, and most of my dad's family are dead. I have tried to make things better with my children , and while I am pretty close with my second child and my youngest ( my children are adults) I never felt like we were as close as a mother and her children should be. My oldest and I are still working on it. I do very much enjoy my grandchildren, and they seem to like me, but they are very young, so we shall see. I think that all this is what makes me the saddest (and angriest) about my "difference".
My best friend understands me the best, my parents are behind compared to him. In spite of this, I feel very close to my parents. I don't speak to them very often, to say the least, though. I know they love me unconditionally and immensely, and I can not ever repay what I've got from them besides my life. So I try to do my best to please them, even it is hard sometimes.
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Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."
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