Socialising and Exhaustion

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Does anyone else here find socialising to be exhausting even if there is no social anxiety involved?

I am diagnosed with social anxiety and not Asperger's but what I find is that even if I am not anxious around someone I still find socialising with them to be exhausting. I also have trouble keeping friendships going as I find that many people need so much time and attention that I can't keep up with them. They also seem to constantly need to talk...yap yap yap and it's almost impossible to get quiet time. Also when I am not feeling well they seem to think I need company when in actual fact I'd rather be left alone. As I find socialising so tiring it takes me twice as long to get over whatever I'm feeling bad with when I have to keep using all my energy up to socialise with people.

Does anyone else have similar difficulties?

I think it's possible to have social fatigue without the anxiety. I usually feel both at the same time, because once I get tired I start to expect that I'll make mistakes, so there's always some anxiety aboutt that. Though it's hard to say......I have trouble distinguishing between anxiety and concern.....the urge to get away from people isn't often particularly scary for me, unless it seems difficult to escape without offending anybody, in which case I could feel very trapped and anxious. But if they're cool about my leaving them for a while, I think it'd just be a case of tiredness.

Yes, I generally find socializing exhausting. I don't really socialize anymore other than family events. I do know someone who I help run errands as she doesn't drive. She is a compulsive talker and after a point she really overloads me. She just goes on and on and on. She'll talk about the price and relative merits of kitty litter and staplers. I don't like to be rude but I have asked her to just please stop talking. She continues to talk but says she's just talking to herself and I can just ignore her. I wish I could but I have to process everything.

Absolutely. I feel exhausted by even a few minutes of socializing. After 1 hour I need to walk away to be by myself. Sometimes I do feel anxious, but mostly I feel like it is so much effort and also that the people are too in my space (physically, their noise, etc). I pretty much constantly feel like I am trying to step backwards from people (especially 1 on 1).

It does get exhausting after a while, but not to the extent of not keeping friendships going.

I'm quite the opposite. Being in the company of people who seem to appreciate what I have to say is very revitalising for me, and long periods spent without any interaction at all lead to feelings of lethargy.

Must admit there's something in that for me too - to some extent I need a minimum regular dose of people so that I'm used to them, otherwise I get reluctant to mix with them. But there's a limit. The problem for me is that I don't have a switch for social exposure, so when it happens is out of my control, at least in an immediate sense.

To a degree yes, but sometimes it's a bit too much when they want to talk every night etc. If you disappear to do your hobbies for a week or so and don't speak to them they get a bit sensitive about it. I can't keep up with them as I start getting bad tempered about them eating into my hobby time. I spend far more time indulging my hobbies than most other people I meet even if they have hobbies as well. Doing my hobbies also recharges my energy levels whereas socialising zaps them.

I have one or two friends who just pop up now and again as they are usually off doing their own thing most of the time. That's fine by me as I can cope with them lol. I do like some socialisation just not hours and hours of it every day!

Also when I'm feeling unwell (which I am at the moment) I like even less social contact as then it takes even more energy out of me, but they seem to want to come round even though I'm feeling bad. To be honest I'd rather be left alone with my hobbies when I'm feeling ill. I don't even want people around for a cup of tea or some company, I just want to sit and relax by myself.

^
That too......the problem with socialising is that you can't do anything else, and a good blast at a special interest now and then often seems important to the general well-being. I wonder how common it is for Aspies to share an interest? That would seem to be an ideal situation, if we can muster up the will to take enough interest in each other's stuff.

Yes, even when I'm out with my boyfriend and people that I care about, I can feel very exhausted. No anxiety necessary. While socialization itself is tiresome, I think for me it's just being out that makes me tired due to all of the environmental stimulus. I've recently decided that my brain tries to take it all in, but there's too much information... so after a certain amount of time, I just can't process anything anymore. It's certainly frustrating because I reach my "limit" much faster than other people. My mom, who I suspect may be somewhere on the spectrum, is just like this. She can only handle being out so much before it gets to be too much.

Ya I have those same problems. I used to have social phobia but I got over that, and while there's usually a bit of anxiety for me - well, more like heightened alertness from the urge to focus better - I still get exhausted from everything - trying to turn thoughts into words, watch mine and their body language, judge when to speak, how loud I'm speaking, trying not to stammer... the whole vast amount of little details that just don't occur naturally to me, they all feel draining. I'm the same when I'm unwell, it's so hard when people offer their company to cheer you up when you actually depend on space and quiet, and when you turn them down they often become more persistent which makes it all more stressful...

Recently I got a new flatmate, and while I like how nice she is, she's so loud every time she speaks and she's so chatty I can't cope with it - and then she keeps inviting me to go out with her and her friends (and I'm even worse in groups than I am individually, and the friends are also loud!), so I've ended up avoiding her by sneaking around the apartment when she's there and only emerging from my room when she's not. I hate being confined to my room, and I feel guilty that it's because she's nice, not because she's nasty - yet she knows I'm autistic, but I guess the unfortunate bit is that she's Spanish with really bad English and I only managed to tell her about my autism by translating the word in an online translator. There's no way I could explain the characteristics by trying to talk about them, so I have no choice but to avoid her in order to avoid the invitations to daily parties and other social events...

It feels so awful when you know someone's being nice and you appreciate that they're nice, but you can't cope with their niceness... I always feel so guilty!

i have it both ways too
i love to socalize but i can only take so much, then i have to retreat.i 've learned that i have to control it, if i let it go i'll board myself in and not talk to anyone, then it is twice as hard for me to start. i look at my dad and see the end result, he loves to window shop(does it every day at the same time, for about the same amount of time) then go's home were he wants to be alone. he can't talk to a person for too long,if they want to change the conversation he will get mad and leaves,that is why he window shops and talks to the employees, they are in the position to hear and not change the subject.
so in this is the line....be open and socal, and deal w/ anxiety so you can ween yourself off it slowly but don't over do it to the point you have to run away!

I get exhausted also from being around people. if I am around them for an extended period of time, it's even worse. I do best when I am alone.