How many actual friends can you say you've ever had / have?

Post Reply New Topic

Elementary School: averaged 5 - 7.
Middle School: averaged 5 - 7.
High School: averaged 2.
Before first marriage: about 5.
During abusive marriage: 3
After abusive marriage, before next relationship: 5
During next relationship: 3
Singlehood: 5
After marriage to my husband: started 5 - 7 then increased to 10, and it's continuing to increase.

And these are people that I can actually count on, not the acquaintance-bullshit thing where I form attachments to people who don't care about me. I have a separate number for acquaintances. The climbing number that I'm experiencing now is because I'm continuing to build relationships with people and I'm reconnecting with friends that I had eons ago. We're reconnecting like no time had ever been lost. It's good stuff. I get so nervous that they're all going to reject me for one reason or another (religion, politics, whatever) but they're really my true family.

Keep in mind that I'm an extrovert. It's common for aspies and auties to be introverts, but despite my social anxiety, I really need contact with people and for people to be in my life. I get very depressed and drained otherwise.

from K to 5th grade---> 1
from age 28-43---> 1

Elementary: average ~2 (though i think i may have had 4 friends in 3rd grade!)
Middle School: average ~2
High School: average ~2-3
Now: 3

Its kind of hard to judge I guess, I know many other people but really just as acquaintances. I don't really ever become friends with 'friends of friends' I guess. I would say my friends are sort of disjoint, none of them are friends with each other... nor have my friends really ever met (not as true when I was younger). I think that is partially because I really only like to spend time with one or two people at once.

Two or three "school friends" at any time during school - up to and including the couple of years after I left school (I'm a high school drop out) - as my responsibilities at work became greater I made less and less effort to continue keeping track of my "friends" and joining in socially. I say "friends" because since my relationship with my wife I've realised those were ALL actually more like acquantances.

Since that post school tapering off - none until my wife - tho I have quite a few very warm acquantance-ships that are nothing like proper friendship - all related to work and with virtually zero out of work contact. Never recognizing them doesn't help - been told from time to time by so and so that they saw me but I was obviously very busy because I didn't acknowledge them - grrr! If they're in uniform I'll often recognise them, but then THEY are normally quite busy / in a hurry so there's minimal and pretty formal interaction. So current friend count = 1 (my wife).

I think it's very cool that your wife is your best friend. Even if she's your only friend at the moment, it's so important that you have that connection with her. Awesome.

I've usually had at least one person who is close to me, excepting maybe my middle school and high school years. Right now I'd say I'm close to maybe three people, but none of them live in my immediate area. I communicate mostly online and through text.

four friends total. My cousin, Prince (my dog from childhood), my best friend now, and Duke (my dog now) It's really simple and low key. I used to think it was wrong to have so little friends, but I really like it.

I consider a friend to be someone whom I would let into my home and vice versa. In general, if we don't feel this way about each other, we forget about each other within a few months.

Elementary school was the easiest to make friends in, for me. I can count...3. I'm still close friends with two of them. The other one turned out to be a closeted gay guy who is also a homophobe.

Middle school had...three, but I am still friends with only one of them. We're not too close. Never have been.

High school was dead for me. I made a close friend during that time, but it was through a previous one.

College (of which I'm currently on the 7th year of) has also been generally lacking. Many acquaintances...but very few friends. I'd say...two...both of which were found in the last year. Though, I DO go to a commuter school...


Making lasting friends is incredibly difficult for me...

oh hey! If I can include my beloved dogs, then I can significantly boost my numbers! that's a great idea, since they really were/are my friends

I had a total of 4 friends during my school years (K-12). Oddly enough 3 out of 4 were all named Jenny. IDK what it is with me being BFFs with people named Jenny. /SRSmoment

I seem to only have online/internet friends at the moment. I have 0 offline friends though. (Kind of wish I had a few offline friends. :C )

By friends if you mean somebody I connect with and spend a lot of time with

uptill 6th grade -- 0 was too busy with the books parents gave me to hang out with anyone

After which I had one friend who 'I still keep in touch with

During university (undergrad): 1 .
Postgrad : 5

In general I have around 25 other acquaintances right now I am on good terms with

My parents encouraged me to socialize a lot I gave in after 6th grade so I was around a lot of people but never bothered being in touch with them after high school

Define friend.


A can think of two or three people in my entire life that would be friends on a meaningful level. A dozen maybe over my lifetime that might be good acquaintances.

But I've never really understood friendship, nor have I had any clear understanding of how people perceive me. It's possible that there were many more overtures towards friendship that went unnoticed.

But I don't know what I don't know.

That's the problem I have.

I'm never sure if somebody is my friend or not. When I was a child I knew a boy who called himself my friend for many years. But, he rarely spent time with me in school, and I found out that he was stealing from me and telling lies. So I told him to stay away from me.

I know a woman now who is the same age as me. She tells me that I am her best friend, but I only see her once a year, and we only email each other a few times a year. She is the closest thing I have to a friend, but I don't know if we're really just acquaintances? Do you have to see somebody often to be a friend?

for the last year and a half ive had none. for the last 2 years of high school i had 2 plus about 5 others i sat with who werent friends. for 2 years before that it was 4 plus a handful of others i sat with. year before that add 2. year before that it was 3. primary school in the last 2 years i had 5 and before that it was about the same and i hung out with the whole year. most of the friends ive had ive never brought home or seen outside of school. they were more like really close aquaintances that i was fond of.

from an online dictionary:
–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

I always ask if there friends all the time too! but i think my actual best friend is someone who helps you (like if you had no money for food) and guides you and stuff, he knows I have AS so he helps me to socialise and gives me advice and actually wants to spend time with me anyway and we have a laugh. yeah I'd say its the first person to do those things. I think thats a friend (close friend) to bad hes gone back home to the US and he still messages me now asking when I can get a flight over to stay at his house!