A little thing that shouldn't bother me (warning: epic post)

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That little thing is:

Having my stuff moved/having limited say about where my things are kept. I'm wondering if anyone can relate, or if I'm just extra weird.

It really throws me off when my parents move my things, or won't let me keep something where it makes most sense for me to keep it (the reason is "there is no space in that cupboard/in the upstairs fridge/on the counter/on the table"--which isn't literally true....I think really it's just that there's "not enough space for [their] liking" or there's a different reason that I'm not aware of).

I have terrible working memory/executive functioning. I need the location of things to stay the same if I'm going to remember where they are. Also, if things are kept in the same place where they're used, objects help me remember what the steps are in everyday living tasks (e.g. making breakfast/coffee, taking medication, doing laundry, getting ready to leave the house). It takes me way longer to complete everyday tasks when one or more of the items I need have been moved, or if I have to keep them all over the house instead of in one central location where I would use them/remember them-- I get scattered and frustrated, and I mess things up:

I go back and forth from one room--say, the kitchen or laundry room--to another room in the house where something is (i.e. some item I need) several times before I manage to bring it back.....The first 2, 3, 4 (etc.) times I get to the other room I've already forgotten why I'm there;

I get distracted in the middle of kitchen tasks when I have to leave the room to go looking for things and kitchen disasters occur (e.g. burned pots/pans/stove; kettle run dry; flood from water left on). Occasionally a task is never finished and my parents end up reminding me I had started something because my half-finished daily-living-project is in the way (they're never happy about this, and I always feel bad about it);

I forget to do things because I don't see the item that reminds me to do them. Planners help a bit with this, but there is only so much space in planners and if I have to write down every little thing I end up using multiple pages and getting overwhelmed with my own instructions. (I'm 95% certain that I wouldn't be allowed to keep pieces of paper or notebooks containing permanent instructions and inventories lying around the house for myself because it would create "clutter");

I forget to put things back because their storage-spot isn't visible in the room where I use those things.....out of sight=out of mind to an extreme degree with me (I feel particularly bad about this when I share living space and it's imperative that I tidy up after myself);

I know that most people ("normal" people, anyways) wouldn't get upset about things moving and probably wouldn't care about where things were located. I also know that it's perfectly reasonable for my parents to decide what goes where in their house (I'm just renting my room--and I'm grateful that I've been allowed to do so because otherwise I'd be homeless). I know I just need to deal/get used to this until I can afford to live alone, but it's very frustrating!

Does anybody else get upset about/thrown off by little things like this?

I cannot stand when people move my stuff around. I just imagine their hands all over my possessions, contaminating it with their filth. Keep in mind I'm a bit of a germophobe and I think I might have OCD so that might contribute to my feelings.

I hat it when someone touches my stuff or moves something-I can tell when things have moved and if someone has been touching things that are mine.Its not weird.

My grandma was a cleaning freak and when I lived with her during my years at the Uni I always complained when she moved my stuff just a little. She used to say everything is in its place, she put everything back, still I was annoyed... I feel a bit guilty about it now.

Have the same, need stuff in its place and stay there.. living on your own rocks
notes all over the house is good, I know where is what, no one touches dat

I get annoyed when people move my stuff not because I am a germ freak or something just cause if they move it I don't know where it is and It annoys me when they don't tell me where it is and I think it is lost.

Well, I don't think of it as a little thing. It can throw off my entire day to have something moved on me. If someone else shifts it, "just a bit", and I reach out without looking, I won't find it where I expect it. And so on. Everything you've said, and more. It literally interferes with my ability to function. They might as well stick their feet out to trip me all the time as move my stuff...

I cannot, at all, handle my things being moved. drives me up a f*****g wall when something isn't where it should be. like my wallet, my sunglasses (I am very sensitive to sunlight), clothes, money, etc. I set things in a certain place so that I know where they are. you move them, I freak out, bigtime. you want to see a 30 year old have a tantrum, move my things.

What usually happens is I'll go looking for something, and won't be able to find it. I try to blame someone else, but then once I do find what I'm looking for, I remember putting it there.

If it bothers you it bothers you. Case closed. Do not feel bad about feeling the way you feel.

Do your parents not understand about the out of sight out of mind problem? This sounds more like a power struggle to me more than anything else. And/or they are being just as particular about where things are as you are. Meaning the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

It is wonderful to get your own place, where no one asks you, 'why are you showering at one a.m. and where you place things are where they stay.

Can you work out some areas of the house that is your "designated" space, and no one is going to argue with you about where you put your stuff when it is in your designated space?

I don't know where you live but maybe you could rent a room in someone else's house if you cannot afford your own apartment? If you and the parents are bickering too much?

When I was a kid I had to share a room with my younger sister. At once point I told her there was an imaginary line down the middle of the room and this side is mine and that side is yours. ROFL. No I didn't have any space/territory issues, nope none at all. Joking.

Thanks for the replies--glad to know it's common to have issues with having your stuff moved.

I think my dad is starting to understand......

I asked him about being allowed to keep certain things in particular places (cupboard/counter/refridgerator) in certain rooms that I would use them in, and tried to explain how this would help with some of the problems I have with basic functioning (how I need visual cues and consistency)....I don't know how much he understood--he basically said that he feels bad for me (he actually said he wished he could buy me an apartment), but he has no say in where things go--it's up to my stepmum.

I wouldn't call it a power struggle because there have been no fights..... when my things are moved, or I'm told I can't keep something where it would be useful for me to have it, I react in a socially appropriate way e.g.:

Stepmum (sees me searching for something, returning to the kitchen table over and over again): "Are you looking for your notebook? I moved it downstairs because I don't want clutter on the table." (their clutter is okay--they keep lots of things on the table....papers, bills, magazines, and lists in little piles; jars of pills, etc.--it confuses me.)

Me: "Okay, sorry--I was leaving it there so I would remember to look at my schedule in the mornings. I'll figure something else out."

End of interaction. I go freak out privately in my room, and do my best to never leave the notebook on the table from then on--whether or not I can figure something else out....because it is their house, not mine.