test

Nope, I am not ashamed

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ]

Previous topic | Next topic

littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age:31
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

05 Sep 2011, 8:10 am

Just a quick note without referencing anything in particular: I am not now, nor have I ever been ashamed of ANYTHING I say on WP. I am not close-minded, and just because I may disagree with you, then defend myself when belittled or provoked, does not mean I am ashamed of my opinion. I don't have to agree with you. You don't have to agree with me. Funny though--I don't belittle other people for stating an opinion. I do tend to get very defensive when I am attacked though, and I am sorry (to the ONLOOKERS ONLY) for that. I said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I am ashamed of on these boards. I feel as though I have contributed a lot. If you do not like me or anything I say, feel free to never take my advice. Even give me the silent treatment. You don't have to like me, and my default is that no one here does anyway, so I really don't care. But don't just belittle me out of the blue for having a differing opinion.

_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)

CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age:40
Posts: 92,308
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

05 Sep 2011, 8:39 am

I'm also not ashamed of the things that I say on WP, either. I'm also not ashamed of the threads that I make here. I make threads about whatever I want unlike four months ago. I am not ashamed that the intensity of my special interests are a little unusual for WP. I am not ashamed that the higher functioning aspies on WP think that I'm annoying because I post about The Kinks 30% of the time where as they post about their special interests only 5% of the time. I am not ashamed that I'm a Kinks Fan who looks like Mick Avory when not bothered/Ray Davies when stressed in today's uncaring world. I am not ashamed that people of my generation and younger see me as a freak because of that. I am not ashamed that I'm a short haired androgenous Mod ine a world that admires women who are sexy popsicle sticks with long blonde hair who wear the latest skimpy fashions. I am ashamed of the teenagers who throw the word, Retard around.

_________________
The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/C ... 20Smileys/ Blog: http://ramblingsofasuccessfula

jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age:43
Posts: 1,197

05 Sep 2011, 9:02 am

I can totally understand. I don't feel ashamed and I am known for my lack of ability to be embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with having a strong opinion. I also appreciate people speaking candidly and directly.
This is a new thread. Why are you so defensive and provocative? You give the impression sometimes that you are looking for trouble. I don't want to argue with you. It is just an observation.

littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age:31
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

05 Sep 2011, 2:28 pm

Thanks for sharing the comments!

jackbus01 wrote:

You give the impression sometimes that you are looking for trouble. I don't want to argue with you. It is just an observation.

If that is how it appears, it is completely accidental. I actually hate conflict, and try to avoid it. But I do get defensive once I am attacked first, and very rarely do I back down while still be insulted. It does come across as antagonistic sometimes, I suppose (and I really do believe that mine SEEMS to be more antagonistic only because most people disagree with my opinions), but like I said, I only do that when I am provoked. The two threads I have in mind recently, I had no desire for conflict at all. I would have only responded once and then left. It was other people that just continuously belittle me basically saying I have no right to an opinion that deserves to be heard (while, of course, their opinion does deserve to be heard) that makes me really angry. Then being singled out makes me even more defensive. So, I am definitely not looking for trouble, it just sort of comes. Too much conflict eventually chases me away---but not in the middle of an argument. I've spent my entire life being trampled on emotionally and told that I was inferior, so now I usually am very assertive in these situations. If WP continues to be nothing but a negative experience, I will find a way to gradually push it out of my routine because I really do not need to put up with the small-minded online. This place is supposed to be beneficial--when it ceases to serve its purpose, I will have no need for it anymore. Hopefully it doesn't have to come to that.

There are times when I supposedly (in real-life) mis-interpret what people say, and I get defensive, but the two threads I am currently thinking of had direct attacks in them that cannot be mis-interpreted, IMO.

_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)

nemorosa
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Aug 2010
Age:43
Posts: 1,121
Location: Amongst the leaves.

05 Sep 2011, 4:10 pm

littlelily613 wrote:

There are times when I supposedly (in real-life) mis-interpret what people say, and I get defensive, but the two threads I am currently thinking of had direct attacks in them that cannot be mis-interpreted, IMO.

Naturally, others may not view these things as attacks at all.

littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age:31
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

05 Sep 2011, 4:15 pm

Naturally the person throwing out the digs would not see those as attacks (but this thread was prompted more by another thread).

_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)

nemorosa
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Aug 2010
Age:43
Posts: 1,121
Location: Amongst the leaves.

05 Sep 2011, 4:26 pm

Well, what I'm getting at is there are huge possibilities for misunderstandings when communicating in this manner. We all think what we a saying is perfectly clear, but throw in different communication styles, different concepts about what is/isn't acceptable our own preconceived notions and the obvious issues with autistic people understanding and making themselves understood...it's amazing there aren't fights all the time.

I don't think many people really do start out intending to fight you know.

littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age:31
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

05 Sep 2011, 6:49 pm

nemorosa wrote:

Well, what I'm getting at is there are huge possibilities for misunderstandings when communicating in this manner.

Yes, I do misunderstand a lot--I'll admit that.

nemorosa wrote:

I don't think many people really do start out intending to fight you know.

This is probable, but the thread that prompted this did seem like repeated direct attacks solely because I disagreed and said I should be ashamed for sharing my opinions because I disagreed (and was not the only one who disagreed--but was the only one who continued to be attacked).

This place has been nothing but trouble for the past couple weeks and I wish I wasn't so obsessed with it. I think I am soon going to put littlelily613 to rest once and for all.

_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)

jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age:43
Posts: 1,197

05 Sep 2011, 8:55 pm

littlelily613 wrote:

Thanks for sharing the comments!

jackbus01 wrote:

You give the impression sometimes that you are looking for trouble. I don't want to argue with you. It is just an observation.

One nice thing about online forums, is you can easily ignore a thread, quit posting, etc. This is a lot different than in real life where you are forced to deal with co-workers/customers whatever. Unlike in real life where I am forced to deal with people I may not like, it is a lot more enjoyable online because I know I can quit a thread if I don't like what is going on. Not on WP, but on other sites, I have just quit posting because things got too crazy. It is a good skill to have to disengage from petty arguements. I am speaking generally, not about you specifically.
Anyway stuff to think about.

jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age:43
Posts: 1,197

05 Sep 2011, 8:58 pm

nemorosa wrote:

One of the things I like about WP, is that it is for the most part a friendly civil place and I find some of the posts interesting.

littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age:31
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

05 Sep 2011, 10:22 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

One nice thing about online forums, is you can easily ignore a thread, quit posting, etc

Yes, this is true. Unfortunately one thing I have trouble doing when I feel provoked is to walk away. I do feel as though I have been provoked, and I will not take all the blame (no one is telling anyone else to leave...just me, and it does take two to argue. If I was the only one arguing, then there wouldn't have been an issue since there would have been no posts for me to respond to!) Anyway, I do feel as though I was being provoked-- whether it really was intentional or not, that is how I felt. That being said, I know I DO get too defensive sometimes and that is because I am used to being tormented in real life when I have no power to say anything. I am much more opinionated online, and I admit I could have reacted more calmly than I had. I need to work on ignoring situations, but I have difficulty doing that when I feel more should be said. Of course, I had let it go until it resurfaced again this morning after I thought it was all over and done with for a couple days now. I am just getting fed up with tension around here, and I feel this is a "friendly, civil place" only when I do not share any opinions with many of the posters around here. If I do not post and am invisible, then I am liked (or not hated). If I post, everyone hates me. There is no way around it, it seems.

The best thing for everyone is probably if I took a break from here because I am really irritable lately anyway. Combine that with my sucky, loser opinions, and you get flared tempers and tension for all.

_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)

LuxoJr
Deinonychus