Shutting down when overwhelmed

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Without going into a lot of details, I have some stressful and overwhelming situations in my life right now and find that I've reached a point at which I've been shutting down or freezing, rather than tackling them head-on. A few people in the AS support group I attend seem to have similar difficulties, too.

Can you recommend strategies for dealing with this and avoiding getting too overloaded? I've found breaking big, complicated problems into smaller parts or making lists of what I need to do helpful, if I can manage to focus enough to do this when I'm upset. Do you guys have any other suggestions?

I have the same problem, but unfortunately, no reliable solutions.


Off topic, is that Screen Name taken from the novel 'Bag of Bones'?

No, it's from The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams. It's sort of an obscure reference, I guess.

If you find any good solutions for this, I'd be happy to hear them. I shut down all the time from even relatively mild overwhelm, and it kind of drives me up the wall.

I have the same problem. I try to take a time out when I need it and let my brain unfreeze. Try to go to a public restroom and let your brain catch up to you. Just hope you don't get the woman I did once who thought I'd been in there too long and called the campus police.... Haha, long story.
Usually I do not have that problem, lol.

I take short 10 minute breaks a lot. Lately they have increased an extra 20 minutes though.

the only way to snap out of a shutdown for me is just waiting it out or a real 'emergency'.
to prevent them from happening, you got to first mentally prepare to tackle the problem you are having, then ease your way into the solution.

When i feel like i cant handle anything, first i have to stop struggling with the problem, if you struggle you just get yourself caught up more in the spiders web.
Take as much time as you can, prioritise the absolute necessary things to deal with, do them and leave the rest.
Make sure you do some stuff that regenerates you - long walks, meditation, listen to music, acupuncture for stress.
Sometimes special interest stuff can be too all consuming and if you go obsessively into that stuff instead of dealing with the problem you will just use up all your energy so maybe take time out to do something like gentle exercise, have a massage - above all look after your health at this time.
Sometimes problems solve themselves if you leave them for a while and get some perspective they may go away of their own accord or be solved by someone else involved. Nothing ever stays the same - change will ineveitably either force you to act, or transform the problem into something else. (Hopefully an opportunity that you didnt see there before).
If you sleep on a problem sometimes the answer comes to you in the morning, when you have a problem you cant solve if you leave it for a while rest assured that your unconscious will be working on a solution, dont beat yourself up over your lack of action it only wastes time and energy.
Stay positive - everything will work out it always does. (Quicker if you stay positive)

Yeah... I find I tend to shut down as well when faced with big problems..

When I'm shut down, I just want to be alone, or do things that have no relation whatsoever to the problem, and become tied up in the activities.. Then I tend to do that all day, and then something comes back to bring me back to what I was supposed to deal with and it's even worse for me. So i know it's just an escape and it won't change the problem.. But I get stuck in the mind about it..

I found that if I don't get so attached to my thoughts and like you say, just do things one step at the time, trying to really stay detached from everything then I can handle things much better. But it's getting to the detachment that is hard..

The way I stay detached though is key, and I do that by grounding myself in the moment. You know, like they all take about awareness, the "now", being in the present, etc.. but it really works, well at least for me, it really does.

They give techniques about how to do it, but the way I do it, is by bringing myself to where I am, and using my senses to ground myself.. But again, I really try to stay detached from the senses, or otherwise, I become fascinated. So I guess the more I did it, the more I got better at it.

So when I get into it this shutting down, I bring myself out by trying to feel things with my hands and focusing on the feeling, then on hearing, and then on seeing.. But I try to do this in a quiet area first, so that I can handle things without being overwhelmed. That's when I can feel a lot more relaxed, and then I try to look at the problem without identifying it to me. Just looking at it for what it is, and what needs to be done. And like you say, little by little I see what needs to get done first.. Then I can make a list, and do things one at a time. In bad cases, I just need to do this over and over.

it's been several years that I've been doing that, and it's really helped me to overcome a lot of anxiety, stress and shutting down behavior..

Good Luck

Thanks guys, especially Sharkgirl and Judith_27. I'll have to work on getting into some new habits, I think.

I am not sure if these are real shut downs but I call them it. When I shut down, I quit, I don't want to do it anymore and walk away (not literally walk away, I mean quit, not wanting to do it). Stress will do this so instead of melting down, I shut down. I have two choices. Have a meltdown or shut down. Sometimes I feel unresponsive and have a harder time thinking. I just want to be alone and more sounds annoy me. Like if I am already stressed out and shutting down, I can't take my baby crying so I put him in his crib and shut the door to muffle out his crying so I can calm down. My husband tells me I can't be doing this but he acts like I have a choice. I don't think he quite understands. But I have read online about Shaken baby syndrome that you leave the room if the baby is crying and you are getting frustrated so I don't see how this is any different what I am doing. It's sort of the same thing isn't it? So it's not child abuse. Putting stuff over him to muffle him out would be because then he could suffocate.