Something else I realised about sensory overload

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Or shutdowns or whatever...
I know that it's hard for me to turn my head and look at someone but for some reason I tried to smile but couldn't, I could only manage a bared teeth snarl type of look.
It made me think of that girl on Boston Legal who couldn't smile.

Anyway, I never knew that happened.

I'll add it to my list of things I can't do after sensory overload.

Does anyone else think they can add to the list?

So far I have:
1. Staring at objects, ceiling.
2. Increased stimming.
3. Not holding back discomfort, i.e meltdowns are less controlled.
4. A child-like excitement.
5. Loss of motor control and delayed movements; failure to look at people or smile.
6. Regressed cognitive functioning.
7. Increased sense of smell or decreased sense of smell/ light/ sound (I seem to increase in sense of smell but decrease in the others).
8. Feeling distant and detached from others (more than usual).
9. Loss of speech or slow speech.
10. Tingling, sometimes painful.
11. Tics, twitching.
12. Obviously loss of attention, motivation, memory, etc. Usual minor shutdown symptoms.
13. Fatigue.

During overload, my hearing and vision both increase in sensitivity. During shutdown, my processing and sensitivity are reduced.

Also, sometimes my brain stops, shuts off. When I get stuck under loudspeakers in supermarkets, for example.

Loss of internal sensations, e.g. ability to tell when I am hungry or thirsty.

I usually have difficulty telling when I am hungry or thirsty, and shutdowns make this worse, sometimes for a couple of weeks at a time.

When I'm on my bad side, I tend to have a sensory induced migraine (like the one I have now). I also snap at people for no reason, and I can have a lot of fatigue.

I was at my daughters chorus recital tonight. since I'm fairly new to having a name for my sound issues I tried to pay attention to what was going on with it.

The auditorium was loud, filled with, probably 500 people or so. All those conversations almost immediately meld into a buzzing sound (as they do for everyone I imagine - but they can tune it out, I can't) Two conversations behind me were louder but I still could only make out a few words here or there and I could not follow one particular conversation despite it being right behind my head. At some point, I got lost in thought - I don't consciously remember doing it but I did and I don't recall hearing any sound at all while I was lost in thought. This is what I have always done but now, in perspective, I can recognize it for the coping mechanism it is. I tried to just let myself 'be' with the noise to see what, if any further reaction I had. Emptying my mind is a challenge but I found it extremely hard to do in this situation. I did manage it for a few minutes though.

The first thing I noticed was a feeling of pressure. It literally felt like all those voices were pressing on me. Next, I felt a bit of disorientation, like I wasn't really aware of my place in space - kind of floaty almost. It was like losing equilibrium even though you rationally know you are sitting down with your feet on the floor. No panic, no shutdown but I could only manage the empty mind for a limited amount of time and it was a fight to do it. I suppose I've learned how to manage in those situations but I imagine if I could manage it longer, the effects would keep building.

My kidling - she did a great job in chorus - only a little bit of rocking side to side. The only trouble she had was at the end when people were taking pictures - she had to duck and cover because of the flashes. Thankfully, that was short and she handled well.

I know that feeling where you feel like you're above your own body. I get it at concerts and as a part of sleep paralysis (I think).
I've felt itchy since I got back from the supermarket.

When I lose internal signals (hunger, pain, hot, cold) I tend to notice being anxious or sort of emotionally anguished instead. IOW, if the sunlight or my monitor is painfully bright I'll feel anxiety or anguish instead of physical pain. It's like the emotional part of my brain is registering the pain, but the cognitive part isn't. Anyway, I first realized that from days where I'd feel almost suicidal, and after putting on sunglasses or eating lunch -- poof -- the existential anguish would immediately vanish. It made me feel kind of nuts, but it's turned out to be consistent phenomenon.

Oh and I saw a good idea about that -- to have a checklist for when you feel bad but can't figure out why. I.e. "when did I last eat? Is it too bright? Am I short on sleep? Am I thirsty? Am I tired and need to lay down? etc."

I get this horrible feeling in my upper body - almost like tingling, like you have to stretch constantly, just worse. I can't keep my arms still, swing them about and shrug them to try and alleviate the feeling.

Cognitive confusion; inability to process.

For example, when a crowd of people applauds, some of their hand-claps occur at the same time and some occur at different times.
The incidence of the clapping sounds does not follow a pattern which makes sense; there is no rhythm or design to it. In other words, it is chaos.
I am not sure whether the sensory overload of the applauding crowd precedes the cognitive confusion,
or whether sensory overload is in itself, cognitive confusion.

Although it's been awhile, one symptom no one's mentioned yet that I used to get is tunnel vision/limited range of sight. It was like one fixed point I would focus on, and shut out everything else. Could have been as simple as the corner of a picture frame or a cobweb in the corner.

I had to "push through" a shutdown a few times to explain to someone what was happening, and I would stammer and tear up because it was almost physically painful. Only did this a couple of time though - when trying to tell my then-wife what I was experiencing (overwhelming fear of losing her, which I ultimately did and got over).

This thread is helping me understand a few things about my daughter. She is sensitive to noise. A sudden noise can make her react with a fight reflex. Too much noise for too long and she shuts down. It's even worse with visual overload. In school she has had times when she was crawling around on the floor and/or trying to find a place to hide. I have seen her do this in other situations when there was way too much visual noise, conflicting patterns, clashing colors and such. In those situations I've seen her drop to her knees and try to crawl away as if she was too dizzy to stay upright. Or at times she'd take off running without any particular direction, just away. She's not particularly responsive in these situations. Is this shutdown?

I have my own sensory issues, but hers are much more intense. If it is this hard for you to control as an adult how was it as a child?

I'm much better at avoiding situations that bring about overload, now that I'm an adult. And rather than crawling into the coat closet at the back of the classroom, now I usually manage to run to the nearest washroom. I imagine it appears to other people that I'm about to throwup? But I don't really know. And I've never been very responsive in these situations either.