should we aspies imitate neurotypicals?

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gyaspie
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15 Jan 2012, 4:33 am

should we aspies imitate neurotypicals?



TheHaywire
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15 Jan 2012, 4:36 am

We can try if we think it will help us but it's pretty hard to be something that you're not in general. Really it depends on the situation. I suppose it is the thing to do for casual business conversation or waiting in line at the store etc.



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15 Jan 2012, 4:37 am

It depends, I do, but it gets extremely, extremely tiring and makes you prone to meltdowns. :?


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169Kitty
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15 Jan 2012, 4:58 am

Imitation can be useful.

I depended on the bus for a few years and frequently rode with a guy who I always knew was "strange" but very friendly. It took a while but he grew on me. It wasn't until we happened to be at the same food place in the mall that I found why he was "strange." He has autism and is high functioning. I think he's in his 50s maybe 60s so back when he was a kid there was no help or even diagnosis for him. He told me that he knew he was different and he picked out people he wanted to be like and copied their speech and mannerisms. Eventually he found his own blend and became Ben. He has no interest in becoming totally like a particular person, just different aspects.

I have people I admire and I have tried imitating their conversation skills. For a while now I've been aware of how one-sided many of my conversations are so I've started picturing a particular person and how she asks questions. When I start to realize a conversation may be getting too one-sided I think about how she would ask questions of the other person. I find I have to work hard at it and it's far from natural. I also find it doesn't feel like it flows well but at least I'm trying.


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MONKEY
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15 Jan 2012, 5:52 am

It can help you get somewhere in life, like in job interviews and things like that.


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15 Jan 2012, 5:53 am

It's a personal choice and that's what it should be.

Personally I accidently mimic behaviour and not of my peers but of characters I like on TV.


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15 Jan 2012, 6:15 am

I have no idea how you'd go about imitating people.

No, "we" shouldn't do anything we don't want to do. As long as it's not hurting others, we can do as we like (though insert your various laws here).



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15 Jan 2012, 6:20 am

TheHaywire wrote:
We can try if we think it will help us but it's pretty hard to be something that you're not in general. Really it depends on the situation. I suppose it is the thing to do for casual business conversation or waiting in line at the store etc.


This. When it's personally beneficial to act NT, you should do so. But don't do it all the time and don't lose your sense of who you really are. I find it tragic when Aspies try too hard to be NT all the time, it never ends well.



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15 Jan 2012, 6:40 am

If you want to lose your identity and end up depressed go right ahead. From my limited experience i can only recommend doing the minimum amount of acting as to not upset the rigid customs of the nt world so much that its negative for yourself. I find it really annoying that people want to dominate my behaviour and responses through their own emotional state, if you deviate from socially appropriate behaviour its you who gets blamed and not the person doing all the raging. I think its sad that we live in such an unconcious society that focusses so much on superfical things. I am much more tollerant of differences and ideas than most people i meet. I see it as our task to bring change to this world, if you imitate others then nobody will ever learn to be more accepting. When people get upset that is not your fault, its their responsability to interpret your behaviour and hopefully they will learn from the interaction with unique people.



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15 Jan 2012, 6:42 am

I don't think anyone has the right to say what Aspies in general should be doing, frankly.


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Amik
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15 Jan 2012, 8:25 am

Aspies should not have to try to imitate neurotypicals, but sadly that seems to be necessary if we want to be given a chance in society. For example, we would have even more trouble getting/keeping jobs than we already do if we didn't try to imitate NTs or adjust to neurotypical expectations.



Marcia
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15 Jan 2012, 8:36 am

Which neurotypicals?



hanyo
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15 Jan 2012, 8:43 am

I don't know how to imitate nts and have never been able to manage to do it.



Georgia
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15 Jan 2012, 8:46 am

I agree that faking any behavior at the expense of one's own identity is never a good idea.

Yes, I could get a job but then when the stress of the job pushes me too far, I'll crack and have to quit.
Then I'll beat myself up for not being more "normal" which leads to more pretending. Putting myself in even more stressful situations to prove that I can handle it when I really cannot.

Ulcers, insomnia, paranoia for fear of letting something slip...

Vicious, self-destructive cycle that I would not recommend.


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15 Jan 2012, 11:53 am

It's irrelvent to me if I should or should not, because either way I suck at it. I used to think my act was a little more convincing well it was to my already crazy family but not so much to the rest of the world from what others say.

i can't make my processing speed faster, I can't make normal eye contact(if I try it probably just looks creepy) meh not even gonna stress myself out with that right now. But no I do not think one should try to be something they aren't.


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15 Jan 2012, 11:54 am

Amik wrote:
Aspies should not have to try to imitate neurotypicals, but sadly that seems to be necessary if we want to be given a chance in society. For example, we would have even more trouble getting/keeping jobs than we already do if we didn't try to imitate NTs or adjust to neurotypical expectations.


This can be added to my list of reasons why this society is garbage.


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