Disclosure to fellow co-worker today...

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So i actually disclosed at lunch today to a fellow co-worker I have aspergers...was an interesting nervous conversation. Whats funnier is that i work as a temp within the DDD of the state of NJ. He was cool with it..but wonder if people have had similar issues with this when it comes to disclosure?

When I disclosed my Aspieness to my friends,they feel strange.They don't know about Aspergers before.A friend just ask if it is a mental illness.I explained to another friend that it is on the Autism spectrum.This man said that I couldn't have something to do with Autism since I talk a lot.I explained to him that Aspies could be talkative but talk repetitively like a radio.Then he knows this.

I disclosed to a coworker a little over a week ago. His response was dismissive. I'm glad I did though because it makes things easier for me if people know. He treats me pretty much the same, but I feel more like I can be myself.

I haven't told my coworkers that I think I have aspergers (I know that I am not diagnosed but all of my immediate family agrees with me that I have it). I have told most of the people that I work with regularly that I do not usually understand sarcasm. And I have told one person I don't like touch.

Last edited by Delphiki on 30 Apr 2012, 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah i think " dismissive" is how most people will respond..its pretty much a courtsey thing. Thats how my co-worker responded today. I think we build up outcomes in our minds that aren't going to happen.

Why were people dismissive when you told them that you had ASD?

I have heard many people say that they told people that they had ASD, and the people they told were generally dismissive, but I don't understand why.

I think by " dismissive" i mean in the sense that they just Shrug and say " no big deal"...we have to remember that in social conversation most people are going to be polite...so they will accept it like that.

I felt kind of forced to finally tell my supervisor last week. I had been having a sort of two day meltdown and I had had one only a few weeks prior. She was beginning to question my ability to do my job, and my sanity I think. She couldn't understand how I could be so easy to get along with everyday and suddenly be irate and emotional the next. I felt that I had to explain myself in order not to get fired.

It seemed to help. She hasn't asked me any further questions about, and seems to be a little more understanding...I think.

I have never told anyone at work and I am afraid to. One time I came close to telling my boss because he was saying "Come on we are adults here, we shouldn't be freaking out when the elevators aren't working." I said instead "I don't like people messing with my routines."

Yeah at work, the elevators don't work because the security guys like doing some test with them sometimes but they do it at the wrong time when I need them and it messes with my whole routine and it causes a major change and gives me anxiety. But I am getting used to it after I have figured out a way to deal with it so that way I know what to do next time when it happens.

I experienced this a couple of months ago. I was still in a deep depression and my boss noticed something "different" about me. Was the experience of telling your boss extremely uncomfortable for you? Because it was for me; unbearably so. Mostly because I really dislike him and felt that his wanting to know was more about him threatening my job than being genuinely concerned with what was happening to me. He started the conversation by asking a series of questions about my personal life and saying that people were complaining about me (when I asked him exactly what was said since I was certain I'd done nothing offensive, he couldn't give me a direct answer so I think he lied to me just to get me to talk). If anything, telling him may have saved my job but I didn't like how he went about it. He's never showed concern for me before and now I'm supposed to tell him everything that's going on in my life?

I don't understand the dismissive response either. I can't tell if it's because people really don't think it's a big deal or because they just don't want to put the energy into understanding/caring. I can't help but assume it's the latter. Only a couple of my friends have showed genuine interest after I told them.

The day I told her I had had a pretty big meltdown, but somehow held off the crying until I got home (was on the verge all day). She was so pissed off at me by the time I left that day. I knew that if I tried explaining to her face to face I would break down and wouldn't even get it all out...and she would only think I was even weirder. So, I waited until I got home and texted it. She didn't say too much about it. She has shown a bit of concern, but not a whole lot. But why should expect anything more from an NT?

I think it may be awkward for them at first, because of how people are taught growing up that people with disabilities are different, and have to be treated politely and wrapped in cotton wool and whatnot. Most of the time they adjust to it pretty quickly though, when they realize you're still the same person you've always been. Be patient with them, let them get used to it and they'll be fine.

In my case, he was dismissive because he didn't believe that I had it. This bothers me. I have seen him since and it doesn't seem to have affected our working relationship; but I don't understand why he wouldn't believe me or think that I would lie about it.

Most managers are petrified about being strung up for discrimination, the minute you come out as it were they wil not want to pry as they'll be worried about doing the wrong thing,

This is to be expected. If you want anything else in relationship to your diagnosis you will have to ask.

Jason

I disclosed (by email) to a senior manager who I trusted but who is not part of my direct line management. She was a little surprised and didn't seem to believe the diagnosis. At this point I was still at work but struggling, and as I explained more to her she seemed to understand better how the diagnosis fit me. A while later, I ended up going off sick for several months with stress.

Although I didn't have to disclose in order for accommodations to be made to help me back to work as these would have been made anyway on recommendation from Occupational Health (who only state what accommodations should be made, not why you need them), I decided to disclose fully to my line manager and direct colleagues (again by email - I could *never* have these conversations face to face). They were all very accepting - no questions asked or negative comments made - and although I'm not sure their knowing has made any difference to things (either positive or negative) it made me feel more comfortable them knowing.

I am still having considerable difficulties at work, but am sure they would be worse had I not disclosed as I would have felt stressed about withholding that information ... Which in a way is completely daft because nobody has a right to know and I'm not obliged to disclose.