Is it possible that I have a bipolar disorder?

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L_Holmes
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Joined: 18 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,468
Location: Twin Falls, ID

11 Jan 2015, 12:51 am

I don't know why, but for a while (really, since I was about 17, but especially lately) I've been having frequent mood swings. When it started at 17, I remember there was a period of a few months or so when my moods were extremely elevated (like the hypomanic episodes described in Bipolar II Disorder). I even remember thinking at the time that I didn't like how high I felt because I figured it was probably going to come crashing back down at some point, which is exactly what happened. When it did, for a while I had a lot of ups and downs, which were bad enough that several people at school noticed it. Some days I'd be really hyper, talking a lot, and doing a lot of stupid and impulsive things, and other days I'd be super tired, unmotivated, and feeling really depressed about my life.

I figured it was probably just teenage hormones or something, and that it would go away. But I just progressed more and more towards depression, until eventually, a little after turning 18 (when I first started classes at university), I was just totally depressed. I was crying all the time, not eating much, sleeping either way too much or not enough, constantly thinking about and planning my suicide etc. I got a 1.8 GPA first semester, and a 0.2 second semester, because by then I was so depressed I couldn't even motivate myself to do anything outside of my dorm room, unless it was for something very basic like food. I had a job, but I showed up super late almost every day (like 1-3 hours late for a 4-hour shift). Sometimes I just didn't show up at all, and usually it was because I was sleeping excessively (my shift started at 5:30 PM) or I just was so unmotivated and tired that I would not go until they called me asking where I was. I don't know why they didn't fire me.

Anyway, for a while my depression has been getting less severe, and now I'm going back into that stage where I am having a lot of mood swings all the time. My mood changes a lot from day to day, sometimes even during a single day. I am more often than not feeling depressed, but it is still very inconsistent. I rarely have moments where I am feeling relatively normal. I feel ok right now actually, today has been ok, but I have no idea how I'll feel tomorrow, or throughout next week.

I am wondering, does this at all sound like I could possibly have a bipolar disorder? I don't know a whole lot about it, and I don't know how much of the stuff I read online is accurate information. I would go to the doctor, except that's kind of hard to do right now since I am working from 8-5 every business day, which also happens to be the only time the doctor has appointments (not to mention that he's always booked for a month out at least, and I'm moving soon). I was hoping somebody here might have a suggestion on what might be the issue or what I can do.


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