How many of you feel you deserve the rejection you get?

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I will be alone for Christmas and feel I at least somewhat deserve it. I deserve to be lonely this season because I am unempathetic, apathetic and inattentive.... honest contemplation here.

I have so much anxiety that I rarely have much to 'give' to others, like a regular checking in or just calling someone out of the blue to see how the person is doing.

The rare times that I don't feel like crap, I just want to relax and not deal w/ people. And when I do feel like crap (which is almost always), I especially do not want to be around ppl.

I really never experience joy in life, so the rare times that i can feel somewhat at peace, i just want to lay down and read a magazine NOT interact with people, because interacting with people causes so much anxiety.

Why when I'm not feeling anxious do i want to stir those dreadful emotions again?!

99% of the time i'm an emotional mess and during that 1% that i feel semi "okay", I want to retreat into a solitary activity.

This makes human interaction a problem. Understandably, people must be put off by this. And I feel guilty about it afterward.

I feel that in the final analysis, I deserve the situation I am in: completely ALONE without any friends. i have a few acquaintances but no one who likes to be around me much. (i lost a casual friend very recently)

I'm very hard on myself. Ironically, my attitude is different towards others. I feel everyone has a right to be happy. Aspergers is Aspergers, and no rejection is 'deserved'. It is an unfortunate consequence of all that we have to juggle, every day.

Sorry for the contradictions in this post

.....but still want to ask the question:

Do you feel you 'deserve' the rejection you get from others? In other words, can you point to behaviors in yourself that alienate people that you can't seem to stop even though you KNOW it must alienate people?

I actually enjoy solitude and quiet time at home with just me and my music.Yes,I would like a romantic relationship with a woman but otherwise I am content.I get all of the socialization that I need at work. I need my solitude to regenerate.

Rejection to me is a learning experience. It teaches me about the person I don't want to be and the one I do want to be, and it teaches me what type of man I do want to be with should I decide to step back into the dating scene. It has nothing to do with whether I deserve it or not.

I will agree with you about not seeing friends much. I've said out loud time after time that I find it a pain in the butt to socialize with too many people at the same time, and guess what? It's been months since I've been out to eat or to do other fun activities with friends, and in that instance that is my fault.

Some people are best avoided and some are good company. I prefer my own company for most of the time, I only talk to those I feel comfortable with

I have nothing in common with other people so I couldn't care less if I don't get Christmas cards because I find those pointless. I couldn't careless if I don't get invited somewhere. I am always alone and don't talk much and all I do is the same things and I don't really carry on a conversation if it's not my interest nor something I care about so all I do is listen so why should they call me or ask me out and stuff if we have nothing in common? I don't think all rejection is bad because everyone rejects people. If you don't have things in common, then you two aren't right for friendship, same as if you don't get along with someone, why is it so wrong to reject them?

My mum has always been hurt that I didn't have friends throughout school, but I always told her (and I still tell her now) that it wasn't them, it was my fault. I was probably annoying, confusing, stupid, and just not on their wavelength. They weren't rejecting me on purpose just to be unfriendly or horrible. I didn't deserve any friends because I wasn't built to have friends.

If you think you deserve it that doesn't show a lack of empathy. It's like you don't want to bother people with how you are.

Or I could probably read your post a little better.

I certainly do not feel like I deserve to be rejected. I don't mean my behaviour and am really trying. I despise those who reject me and will never open my self up to them again. They are dead to me. *spits on the floor for effect*

I do not feel I deserve it.

I am just a little shy or If I talk it is about my special interest.

It is not fair, they sure don't reject our inventions!! !! !! !! !!

They should live without some of the asperger inventions for a year, reject that!

I am rather hard on myself as well and often find myself in a self-defeating cycle, rejecting myself before anyone else gets the chance to. I don't handle rejection well and avoid situations that might cause it, but when I am rejected, I almost always feel I deserve it for some reason and go into a cycle of self-loathing and beating myself up over that which I have done, haven't done, or could have done differently.

case in point, I will likely edit this post multiple times, as I have with almost every post I have ever made in a public forum, and may even delete it outright if I convince myself that what I have to say is just plain stupid or worthless... just so nobody else can point out how stupid and worthless it is.

On the one hand, I do have a desire to belong, to have someone around that understands me and accepts me for who I am... but on the other hand, I love my solitude. I don't want others around because socializing is exhausting, even though it can be a lot of fun under the right circumstances, and for a limited amount of time (on my terms.)

but then again, that's selfish, isn't it? to only want to be around people when you want to be. and I could easily understand why others would not want to be around someone like... me.

I hate to be phoned or have people call in unexpectedly, I am not ready for people most times.

That is very unfriendly of me. Most people simply give up, they think they are taking the hint, there is no hint there.

So how do you deserve rejection? I was rejected by most of my family, my dad saw me as a double fail, born female and disabled, although the physical problems were fixed after a few months, he still saw me as too flawed to bother with.

Did I deserve that? If you think not, then you already know that you don't deserve rejection for how you are either.

We don't ask to be this way. On the other hand when choosing friends, people choose those who makes them feel loved, wanted, special. They don't choose me.

I know I bring it on myself, the rejection from others, I cause it with my behaviour. But unless I am on antidepressants I can do no better. I chose not to be medicated, it turns me into a smiling idiot. I would still put my foot in it all the time, but when you are smiling, no-one minds.

I try not to feel bad about it, still I do feel bad about it, I would like to go out socialising, in theory, but if I'm invited I end up not going.

In the end you can accept the person you are, or go crazy with wanting what you don't have.

Remember, if things are really bad, the only way is up. Hang in there, its a difficult time of year, no question.