Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

hellhole
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: UK

20 Aug 2016, 8:52 am

Hey all; after suspecting I've had mild autism for a few years now, and vacillating between self-acceptance and denial, until I've finally started to accept my self-diagnosis. Initially it looked identical to Aspergers, but now I believe PDD-NOS (ICD-10) to be the better fit. I was quite intelligent as a child, and basically had next to no speech delay -- I was even chose to read to the other children a few years younger than me, when I was in infants school. But as I got older (age 19 now) s**t hit the fan and I'm not as smart as I used to be; I pin it down to a duality of brain fog and alcohol abuse. Maybe I'll try to get a formal evaluation for it soon. My non-verbal and verbal expression isn't even that bad, and I'm not facially blind. People with PDD-NOS usually don't have any real cognitive deficit as I understand, although they're often known to be slow learners nevertheless. I spoke to learning support helper at my college and we both agreed my intelligence was average, but my processing speed was slowed; "mild autism" at it's finest.

I just wanted to introduce myself really.... I have symptoms such as stimming, vocal and motor tics, obsessional rituals, occasional lack of inflection in speech (but it depends on my mood) mild sensory processing issues, restricted interests, and some asociality that started to got worse during late childhood/early adolescence -- even though I still enjoy some social activities. Not to mention the weird stare in my facial expression :?

This photo is remarkably similar to how I looked as a child: https://36.media.tumblr.com/a0bc3690494 ... jy_540.jpg

At this point I don't even know what to do as there's basically no cure for it. I hate my life, I hate others for all the abuse and bullying I've faced over the years, and lastly, I really hate myself! I'm always thinking about suicide, and about how much I've been screwed over. Mentally I WANT to live a 'regular, fulfilled existence', but apparently we aren't all so lucky.

That's all I have to say.


_________________
"Subclinical autistic traits" (atypical autism).
Normal intelligence, social and language development.

"vulnerable narcissistic defenses w/ mild borderline traits"; Body Dysmorphic Disorder, (self-diagnosed).

Our internal representation of reality: (http://bit.ly/2BJuj5o)


AspieUtah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Brigham City, Utah

20 Aug 2016, 9:03 am

You have obviously done a lot of work in your self-identification of autism! Knowing is better than not knowing. Your awareness will always be beneficial, evenn if you don't choose to pursue a diagnosis.


_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,244
Location: Long Island, New York

20 Aug 2016, 9:44 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Indeed many of us bear the scars of bullying because of our luck in bieng born this way, suicide ideation is common.

The below might sound a little preachy but it is born from experience. You are 19 by the time you are 39 things should be better for people on the spectrum. Twenty years ago you would not have been able to find an explanation for your woes. A incorrect one would have been given to you or you would have no explination and would have just flailed about confused thinking you are just lazy and weak. Fifty years ago you probably would have been sent off to an institution chained down and given electric shocks. Now LBGQT people can legally get married in many places when I grew up most people thought bieng gay was a sickness and a perversion.

The above is all nice but that does not help you today. You need to find your strengths and work with them instead of obsessing over your flaws. Since you are having suicidal thoghts you need to get proffessional help about that as soon as possible. You are in the UK while it takes a lot of time, unlike many other locations an Autism assesments are available and paid for by the government. The way to get an autism assesment is to get a referral to an autism specialist from a general practitioner. Wrong Planet has many members from the United Kingdom who can better guide you then can I. While far from perfect the United Kingdom's health system is more knowlagable, understanding and has better treatments and services for those on the spectrum then most places in the world.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 69,880
Location: Portland, Oregon

21 Aug 2016, 4:30 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :D


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


somanyspoons
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Jun 2016
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 995

21 Aug 2016, 5:52 pm

hellhole wrote:
Hey all; after suspecting I've had mild autism for a few years now, and vacillating between self-acceptance and denial, until I've finally started to accept my self-diagnosis. Initially it looked identical to Aspergers, but now I believe PDD-NOS (ICD-10) to be the better fit. I was quite intelligent as a child, and basically had next to no speech delay -- I was even chose to read to the other children a few years younger than me, when I was in infants school. But as I got older (age 19 now) s**t hit the fan and I'm not as smart as I used to be; I pin it down to a duality of brain fog and alcohol abuse. Maybe I'll try to get a formal evaluation for it soon. My non-verbal and verbal expression isn't even that bad, and I'm not facially blind. People with PDD-NOS usually don't have any real cognitive deficit as I understand, although they're often known to be slow learners nevertheless. I spoke to learning support helper at my college and we both agreed my intelligence was average, but my processing speed was slowed; "mild autism" at it's finest.

I just wanted to introduce myself really.... I have symptoms such as stimming, vocal and motor tics, obsessional rituals, occasional lack of inflection in speech (but it depends on my mood) mild sensory processing issues, restricted interests, and some asociality that started to got worse during late childhood/early adolescence -- even though I still enjoy some social activities. Not to mention the weird stare in my facial expression :?

This photo is remarkably similar to how I looked as a child: https://36.media.tumblr.com/a0bc3690494 ... jy_540.jpg

At this point I don't even know what to do as there's basically no cure for it. I hate my life, I hate others for all the abuse and bullying I've faced over the years, and lastly, I really hate myself! I'm always thinking about suicide, and about how much I've been screwed over. Mentally I WANT to live a 'regular, fulfilled existence', but apparently we aren't all so lucky.

That's all I have to say.


You gotta deal with the addiction issue first. Nothing is going to work until you do so. If you try any therapy, and you keep drinking to excess, the therapy will not work. Basically, if you keep going to alcohol, you will destroy any ways in which your brain tries to re-wire itself.

The alcohol is more likely behind your decline than autism. In general, our symptoms get slightly better over time, mostly because we develop our coping mechanisms.

Its very possible that autism is behind your alcoholism. I was that way. I used food instead of booze, but its the same thing. Life was unmanageable because of inappropriately treated Autism, so I turned to food. But once the addiction set in, I was in a stuck place. Therapies just didn't work on me until I cleared the food haze.



TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

22 Aug 2016, 1:32 pm

Welcome! What are your interests?



alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,214
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

22 Aug 2016, 1:33 pm

Welcome!


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


hellhole
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: UK

22 Aug 2016, 4:37 pm

TheAP wrote:
Welcome! What are your interests?


Technology, gaming, stuff like that etc.


_________________
"Subclinical autistic traits" (atypical autism).
Normal intelligence, social and language development.

"vulnerable narcissistic defenses w/ mild borderline traits"; Body Dysmorphic Disorder, (self-diagnosed).

Our internal representation of reality: (http://bit.ly/2BJuj5o)