I hate walking through crowds and I stim more when I do.
At my job, I'm able to keep my physical autistic traits to a minimum EXCEPT during the parts of the day (serving lunch, getting everyone ready to get on the bus, etc.-- I work in a therapeutic day program) when I have to be around crowds of people and squeeze through-- then I do a lot of hand-flapping, finger-wiggling, and banging my wrists together as well as rocking while standing still and holding my arms close to my body at all times. I am able to recognize these behaviors but not to stop them-- or at least, I'm afraid that if I tried to stop I wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyone have similar experience?
Yes i have to be alone by myself without the distractions of people walking around other-wise my Aspie Senses tingle again and my stimming coping mechanisms kick in ![]()
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Your Aspie score: 129 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
For me, It's when I've chosen the wrong time to enter a busy store..like Walmart. With kids racing and screaming all around, pushing a shopping cart around an aisle corner only to almost ram into another person, people bumping into you etc. The anxiety really starts to build, I get irritable and my temper starts to get the best of me. I usually want to get to the check out line, run everything through and get the heck outta there!!
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"You were so beautiful, pale, and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse!" Gomez Addams
From experience volunteering with disabled people, I've found people who work in that field tend to be more understanding than in many other fields. So why put so much effort into hiding it? I'm sure your coworkers won't think badly of you for stimming - not unless you work in a very bad day program.
I'm in the same boat. Almost every time I walk through a crowd I will start flapping my hands as I hold my arms close to my body. Sometimes I grab my shirt to stop myself from looking weird, but that increases the tension for me and has left me with two torn shirts.
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A hobbit at heart trying to survive the modern world.
AAA- The androgynous and asexual autist
I do get nervous in crowds because I don't like people standing too near me. Also I get upset if I feel I am in anybody's way because it makes me feel like I'm a clumsy oaf who always gets in people's way, so it makes me get upset. I have no problem with being touched but I do hate when strangers touch me if I am in their way (some people do, especially old ladies. It makes me feel like a 3-year-old).
But when I'm feeling agitated, upset and anxious, it's always on the inside, and can be slightly noticeable through facial expressions, otherwise hardly noticeable at all if people aren't really looking (which in most cases they aren't when in supermarkets). I don't do any unusual body movements that are odd to NTs, like hand flapping and all of that.
But being in crowds has it's good and bad points. The good points are I don't feel compelled to make eye contact or say hello to anyone (with some exceptions depending on the context, like saying thank you to someone letting me past or greeting somebody who I know or being served by the cashier, etc). But when in quiet places and you're passing somebody, you feel more compelled to have to make eye contact and say hello to them, and for some reason saying hello to a stranger always makes me feel uncomfortable - again depending on the context.
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Yes I am a straight female.
From East UK
Aged 25
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