Harboring resentment towards someone who cares about you?

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Is it possible to harbor resentment towards someone who wants a friendship with you that you are not capable of having? Would seeing that person remind you of the intimacy you want but are not capable of having? Why would you feel defensive around that person?

Of course you can, resentment, and really any other feeling is hardly limited by rationality. But is feeling resentment towards them in this situation appropriate? I'd say no. This person hasn't really wronged you, so I see no reason to be angry towards them. I could certainly understand being upset and angry at yourself though. As horrible as it may be to say, the problem really is yours and not theirs, so I see no reason to treat them poorly in any way.

A low tone hostile defence can actually be for many reasons. It can be from specific previous experiences. It can be from a more negative general experience, that things like this just go wrong. It can also be simply from a lack of ability or skills to engage it. Even if the other person is accommodating, it can be very distressing. You can become hyper-aware of every little movement, wondering at each one whether it means anything and whether you should be responding or not, while having no idea how to. You start to fear at everything that is said, both ways, that you didn't get it right. You could constantly fear that the other person may start to think you're boring, retarted, annoying, creepy, rude or just a bastard. And if they don't just get bored or offended and leave, then it's probably just out of pity, and that's not worth much. Plus, humans rarely say what they really mean, so if they say it's ok it doesn't really change it. If you don't open yourself up to it then it wont bother you, which means you just push them away.

Thanks not a problem. Actually someone is acting this way towards me. Apparently I crossed a boundary somehow by offering support in a situation and trying to initiate a friendship. She asked me not to try to form a friendship that is just not possible for her. We had a conversation and she said she needs her privacy which I respect.

We work in a professional setting and I have only known her for a few months. She admitted she gets defensive around me and has to put walls around me. When she catches herself doing this I a n tell she feels badly and the goes in the complete opposite direction and acts super nice toward me. This is very confusing to me and very painful because I do care about her. She just won't let me in. She is very adamant about her "boundaries" as she calls them and said that I have to stay out "there." She seemed angry and I don't know why because I am nothing but kind towards her. I laugh at her jokes, make her feel included, even bought in I e cream for her. Yet she just seems resentful of me.

I just wish I could understand it better. She never came out and said she has AS but has alluded to it.