Am I better off staying nonverbal?

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When reading so much about how much difficulty people here have speaking, as far as know what to say or accidentally saying the wrong things - I often find myself thinking "Glad I don't have to deal with that". Just makes me wonder if trying to learn to be more verbal is worth it.

Edit: Should add that I have always been mainly nonverbal autistic.
These days I really only say single words like "hi" or "yes" in response, but still do not speak in sentences.

Last edited by EzraS on 27 Feb 2014, 11:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Autism is a communications disorder for the most part.

Your posts on here have shown that you are quite intelligent.

I can not see the harm in trying to make yourself more verbal.

I have Aspergers and I move from being afraid to talk to taking too much and I do say the wrong thing a lot.

However people I work with know about my ASD and don't take offense.

So in answer to your question it is worth the effort.

I think it depends on one's capacity to bounce back and the value they place on it. Even if you don't do anything "wrong," some people will still disagree, dislike, or misinterpret you because communication isn't perfect. No one agrees 100%, so you can't please everyone or assume that because someone is displeased you're failing. Conflict is abundant among NTs, too.

I'll go with Sharkattack on this, Ezra.

It may take a lot of work, but all you've got to do is say aloud the words you obviously know.

Here and there you can work on improving word choice and such, but we can understand you already...very well.

I never had language loss or delay, so I can't speak from experience, but it really looks like if you can just make your mouth do what your mind is already doing, you'll be rolling smoothly.

I'm down as verbal isn't working out well for me now--but Ezra, I don't know how much learning to be more verbal is a choice. Maybe it's just where you are and something you're growing into doing. And there are problems sometimes both ways.

I would prefer to be partially verbal...

Yeah I feel like I get by okay with that.
Speech therapy has been so difficult lately, just don't know if it's worth it.

How is speech therapy difficult Ezra?

My life got a lot easier when I could talk because I could tell what is going on, tell the teacher, defend myself by saying my side of the story, explain something was an accident what I did, etc. Less misunderstandings and I could be heard out. Why be non verbal and go back to not being able to express yourself or tell what is going on at school or at home or not being able to tell the teacher a kid took something from you or drank your milk or someone took your baby blanket or not being able to tell the teacher you did not mean to hurt this girl in your class when you lied her down on the floor or not being able to tell your mother your nanny uses the bathroom as the time out when you're naughty.

I know I would miss out on most of what makes my life worth it if I were non-verbal, then again perhaps you don't have a real need to be verbal in your life so it wouldn't matter. I think independence and self reliance as you age is possible as a non-verbal person however I believe it is much more easily attained if you are decently verbal. At the very least I think many people would be more likely to take you more seriously and give you more attention if you can be verbal. I know I don't want to have to debate someone using an AAC device, I think it would be very frustrating not being able to just say something, even just an elegant "shut up", actually I found out some of this in the days after I had my wisdom teeth removed.

However everyone is different and every life is different and the fact that most non-verbal autistics never knew a time when they were perfectly verbal I am sure changes their perspective on the issue.

I am selective mute. It has got easier as I've got older but I still only speak when I need to.

Like you I usually only talk in response to people, I don't usually initiate conversation, which is why my job is such a challenge.

I've always found that even though I'm not a talker I have had friends and relationships.

I don't think you should put pressure on yourself, just see what happens naturally in your life.

You'll be fine and you are a treasure on WP.

I've "hit a plateau". Haven't made any progress in my oral motor skills for a while and I'm beginning to hate it more and more. It's starting to cause meltdowns.



There's no going back, I've always been this way (at least since I was 8, before that I was 100% nonverbal). As far as explaining something to a teasher, I just text it out and show what's on the screen. I can communicate verbally with my parents and especially my cousin better, but it's "gibberish" mixed with signing only they understand.



I can say core vocabulary words like "shutup" although it usually come out in a whisper unless I'm really agitated. But would need an ACC device to string sentences together if I did a video or something like that. I stay away from textual debates in the forums because the conceptualizations are usually too over my head to keep up.

Usually communicating for me in real life amounts to answering questions. I don't have the inclination to engage others. Basically if no one asks me anything, I don't have any need or reason to communicate, except to ask for something, like if I need a spoon in the cafeteria line I can say "spoon?" and make a motion with my hand. Or lots of times just making the motion is good enough to get what I need.



Thanks. I'm not a quitter, but it's just causing so much frustration right now. It's been ruining my whole day lately, causing meltdowns, the works.



Thank you so very much.

Last edited by EzraS on 28 Feb 2014, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ezra, you mentioned signing no one else understands. Do you or would you sign? You write so well, and when a person is really frustrated, communicating gets harder, so I just wondered whether you might have the option of signing? You could even mix with speech if they let you.

Well I mainly meant my garbled speech no one else understands. But yeah, I do a lot of signing that most people get, like pantomiming. And I also type out stuff on my phone and give it to a teacher or whoever to read. And my cousin and my friend are good at interpreting and speaking for me.

Do you have enough speech to communicate at least enough to swap communication methods in an emergency?

What are the downsides of gaining speech for you?