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How do you feel about talking on the telephone?
I hate it. I avoid the phone at all costs!! 80%  80%  [ 37 ]
I do not like the phone, but have learned to overcome my difficulties and not feel awkward 20%  20%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 46

perpetual_padawan
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04 Jun 2014, 11:10 pm

I was surprised to read that many autistic people have difficulty talking on the telephone. I have always wondered why I never liked talking on the phone, and have the overwhelming majority to time, rushed to hang up quickly. I also cringe with panic when the phone rings. Luckily (not sure if that is the correct word considering the circumstance) it doesn't ring much, because nobody ever wants to talk to me besides my mother. Also, I've always had to talk on the phone in privacy; I really dislike making phone calls around other people.

Anyhow, I'm curious to find out what people think and what their difficulties are, or how they have overcome any struggles. Personally, I have a very difficult time judging how a conversation is going, because there aren't enough cues given to me by the other person to gauge how the conversation is going. The awkward pauses on the phone are often even "louder" to me than in person.

[Edit] There should be a third option on the poll that was dropped for some reason. C) I have no problem with phone conversations.


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Last edited by perpetual_padawan on 04 Jun 2014, 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

serenaserenaserena
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04 Jun 2014, 11:18 pm

I guess I do dislike phone calls, but I don't usually have them, so I don't know. I do, however, have Skype audio calls, which are similar, but the difference is that I only have them when I am playing video games with those people / that person in the call, so I'm not really having a conversation with them; I'm just talking to them as I approach them in-game.


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Amity
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05 Jun 2014, 4:30 am

I have difficulty with unexpected phone calls, most times I won't answer, but I'll call back/reply the next day. Yesterday, I had my notes and key words prepared for a call back I was expecting by 7pm. He didn't call until 8. I answered, i didn't have my notes, it took me roughly two minutes to focus my thoughts, I asked him a jumbled question to buy myself time, which confused the matter further.

He didn't understand my accent either. It was supposed to be a simple call back for an appointment, checking details etc, instead it turned into a ten minute discussion, where this guy apologised about the confusion based on my accent, but I know the confusion came from me. (My accent is not that strong)

I don't know how to describe it other than I know my brain contains the information I need, but there is a time delay in accessing it. When I do remember what I want to communicate, it still comes out of my mouth jumbled up, so I have to re word it and then try fix the confusion I caused and that's only possible if I haven't confused myself. :) This is my usual experience with phone calls.

I can not speak on the phone in front of someone else, I know I'm not communicating properly and I need all my focus for the phone call.

I try to take all of this lightly, otherwise I wouldn't answer the phone.



Simplegirlviv
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05 Jun 2014, 6:19 am

I hate having to talk on the phone, I avoid it at all costs. The invention of texting gave me so much freedom.



sidelines
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05 Jun 2014, 11:15 am

For me, it's mostly the unexpected intrusion into my solitude. I hate sudden noises, so phones ringing (and doorbells) are horrible for me anyway, and then there's the expectation that I be ready and willing to communicate with someone at the drop of a hat. I find that hugely stressful.

I don't find making calls quite as bad, especially if I'm calling a service line (OK, that has its own annoyances, like the hold music - why is hold music always so loud and so awful?) because I know it's the other person's job to sit there all day taking calls. But I still don't like it much - I'm still talking to a stranger, I often find it harder to hear people on the phone (no idea what that's about, static/distortion maybe?), and of course not being able to guage the interaction as well as a face-to-face conversation.

And calling people who might not just be sitting there waiting for calls all day is a nightmare because I worry that I'm calling them at an incovenient time, so they'll be annoyed that I called, which makes the whole conversation difficult from the start.

On the rare occasions where I chat on the phone with friends or my mum, well, that's kind of OK once we get talking, but I still dislike it because it's time I could spend doing something else. Or doing nothing, but enjoyably so. :roll:



serenaserenaserena
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05 Jun 2014, 11:29 am

Now that I think about it, I actually ALWAYS avoid talking on the phone or FaceTime if it is not connected to me playing an online game with someone. I like texting much more if I must have a regular conversation with someone.


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perpetual_padawan
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05 Jun 2014, 11:58 am

Amity wrote:
I have difficulty with unexpected phone calls, most times I won't answer, but I'll call back/reply the next day.

I can not speak on the phone in front of someone else, I know I'm not communicating properly and I need all my focus for the phone call.


I?ll often let the phone ring to VM just so I can see what the person wants and prepare mentally for the conversation. On your last point, I?m glad I?m not alone on that. I?ve always felt weird for needing that privacy.

Simplegirlviv wrote:
I hate having to talk on the phone, I avoid it at all costs. The invention of texting gave me so much freedom.


I love texting too. It?s by far my favorite way to communicate. That being said, I often get myself in trouble with texts because tone is hard to convey and I either misunderstand someone, or vice versa.

sidelines wrote:
For me, it's mostly the unexpected intrusion into my solitude. I hate sudden noises, so phones ringing (and doorbells) are horrible for me anyway, and then there's the expectation that I be ready and willing to communicate with someone at the drop of a hat. I find that hugely stressful.

I don't find making calls quite as bad, especially if I'm calling a service line (OK, that has its own annoyances, like the hold music - why is hold music always so loud and so awful?) because I know it's the other person's job to sit there all day taking calls. But I still don't like it much - I'm still talking to a stranger, I often find it harder to hear people on the phone (no idea what that's about, static/distortion maybe?), and of course not being able to guage the interaction as well as a face-to-face conversation.

And calling people who might not just be sitting there waiting for calls all day is a nightmare because I worry that I'm calling them at an incovenient time, so they'll be annoyed that I called, which makes the whole conversation difficult from the start.

On the rare occasions where I chat on the phone with friends or my mum, well, that's kind of OK once we get talking, but I still dislike it because it's time I could spend doing something else. Or doing nothing, but enjoyably so. :roll:


This describes me pretty well. I have less trouble making those service calls, but I dislike having to repeat myself constantly, so I often get very frustrated and flustered.

serenaserenaserena wrote:
Now that I think about it, I actually ALWAYS avoid talking on the phone or FaceTime if it is not connected to me playing an online game with someone. I like texting much more if I must have a regular conversation with someone.

I often feel like the person on the other end of the line is disembodied voice. Skype and FaceTime make it a bit easier for me, because I can actually see the person. As far as chatting whilst gaming is concerned, I like the ability to talk to discuss tactics, etc., but I find that I have a difficult time articulating myself because I can?t think fast enough for the moment in the game that makes my point relevant. I also don?t like the sound of my voice.

I find it interesting that so far it's overwhelmingly obvious that we don't like phones. I wish there was a larger sample size and that third option of "no problem" would have been added properly.


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Quill
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05 Jun 2014, 1:10 pm

In general, if I am comfortable talking to someone in person, I'm comfortable talking to them on the phone. However, I hate making calls like to schedule or cancel an appointment or to talk to someone I don't know or am not comfortable around. I often let calls go to voice mail so I can see what they are about before I decide to call back.



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05 Jun 2014, 1:58 pm

I don't even own a phone, as ridiculous as it sounds. I always go on foot to make appointments..



Noetic
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05 Jun 2014, 2:05 pm

As with many things I have managed to overcome this issue enough in my Thirties that I can now make calls as long as they serve a purpose.



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06 Jun 2014, 9:12 am

I used to tell people that my mum never had to worry about me running up the phone bill because I just hate using the phone. Even now, I prefer to use email or text people rather than call and if I HAVE to make a call then my anxiety level goes through the roof. I have to rehearse what I am going to say and everything or find some reason to talk before I even get on the phone. Phone silences totally freak me out. I hate the phone.


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zachrulez
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06 Jun 2014, 10:32 am

structrix wrote:
I used to tell people that my mum never had to worry about me running up the phone bill because I just hate using the phone. Even now, I prefer to use email or text people rather than call and if I HAVE to make a call then my anxiety level goes through the roof. I have to rehearse what I am going to say and everything or find some reason to talk before I even get on the phone. Phone silences totally freak me out. I hate the phone.


This is so me. I am pretty much exactly the same way. I hate the phone and having to use it drives my stress levels through the roof. It's not as bad if I have to call someone I know, but if it's a stranger and it's important to do it, I can just about lose my mind.



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06 Jun 2014, 11:38 am

My phone is a portable Internet modem for me (I browse Internet on it and use it as a modem when there is no reliable wifi for my tablet/computer around) with a call making option. I have it always by my side so I can be reached through a call if there is something important but I personally make calls on rare occasions. I only call my mom or dad and our phone conversation looks like this: "Hi mom, where are you? Home? Will you pick me up? I just got out of the school. Great. I'm waiting then." and never last longer than 20 seconds.

I don't like talking through phone. It requires a lot of concentration and I am easily distracted - I can't focus on a voice for too long. I remember my ex-boyfriend niggling me to talk with him through phone for hours. At a moment (after a few mins of the talk) I was always "disappearing" somewhere and he had to call my name a few times before I realized I am still "talking" with him. That's funny. My mind can't ignore such simple sounds as clock ticking but I can become deaf to the voice of people talking to me. Of course, I still hear them but at a point I stop focusing on words and it becomes just a noise. Human speech requires a lot of concentration to be understood.



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06 Jun 2014, 5:54 pm

I don't mind answering the phone purely because I can see the number on the screen and it's usually an automated call or someone in a call centre and I can hang up straight away. But I really hate phoning people. I also hate texting and emailing people.



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07 Jun 2014, 1:50 am

There was a time while in my teens and 20s when I was TERRIFIED to use the phone. I would occasionally talk to a friend or family member who called me; I never called other people. But talking to someone I didn't know was a nightmare for me. I couldn't even call a store to find out what time they closed. I remember once having to make a call to my new school to transfer records from my old school (I was moving and changing schools). It was so frightening for me that I LITERALLY couldn't speak -- I went completely mute. The woman on the other end kept saying "Hello? If you don't tell me what you want I'm going to hang up." After what seemed like hours, but was in reality a couple of minutes, I was able to croak out what I wanted. To this day, I don't like talking on the phone -- and most of the time I do have a mental script to help me along while making calls -- but I'm better now. I've had jobs where I had to use the phone a lot -- that was scary at first, but I sorta got used to it. I'll spend time talking to friends, but I still don't call people unless I have something specific to say. I almost never make a call just to say "Hey. What's up?" I feel like I'm interrupting their lives with my inane babbling.


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07 Jun 2014, 2:20 am

I hate getting phone calls, mainly because the sound of the ringer drives me nuts, and it's an unexpected interruption that usually happens for no good reason. The worst is when I pick up the phone, and it's completely silent until I hear the sound of the other person hanging up. I hate that! Why the f**k would someone call me and not say anything?!? If you're going to interrupt my day and annoy me, at least say something. I'm not terrified of phones, I just f*****g hate them.