First GRASP meeting

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I was just remembering my first GRASP meeting. I was so excited, because I had heard I could finally be myself. So, I walked into the meeting room. My first thought was "Now I can be me!" My second thought was "OMG. I just realized that I'm not sure who "me" is. My third thought was "These people are weird. I hope I am not as weird as them."

Within half an hour though, I KNEW I was finally home. And no one was being weird, just awesomely real. How was everyone elses experience with being in a group of other Autistics?

Sounds great, but I've never done it, or been in that kind of environment.

You're very fortunate to have been able to have such an experience. I felt this way when I joined WP on a day when things weren't going too well between my parents and I. I've found a place where I can be myself and I'm still here.

I belong to a group (not GRASP). It's nice that you can ask if the others think or say or act certain ways and people say they do. Or if certain behavior affects you certain ways. For example, someone in the group once asked if someone is yelling at you, does it kind of short-circuit in your brain and you can't hear what they're saying and most of us had had that happen to us. Also, if someone starts talking about an interest too much, the others don't get angry. Or if someone stims, we don't call attention to it. It's more relaxing than being out in the general population.

Since it's a spectrum and we're all different about some aspects, people who are better at small talk or certain social situations can give others advice. Someone is always up on something, but it's not always the same ones. Everyone has helped someone else at some point.

I joined a group at school last semester for students with all types of disabilities, and even though there were only two other autistics there (one with co-morbid schizoaffective disorder), I felt more comfortable and at home around everyone there than I ever did out in the general populace. It was great to finally have a group of real people I could talk to face to face about all the diverse problems people with different disabilities face.

I go to three supports groups, a regular GRASP adult, GRASP for people over 50 and another group. Instead of words and theory you to actually see how it really is a broad spectrum but how there are core similarities. Here is more venting, while that happens there to it is also more solution oriented. When I went to my first group I feared and somewhat expected people talking past each other about there special interests or just sitting there staring at each other not knowing what to do. People communicated during and after the meetings. But it is a really different form of communication, no hugs, touching and small talk, just exchanging information. A lot of the world would find that sad, I find it liberating not to have to worry about being touched.

The above said, it is not nirvana. It is not easy to get yourself up and out, and I still have to force myself to and are nervous talking sometimes, you can tell others are struggling with that also. After some meetings I have no interest in what is being said or are just tired, so I leave the premises fast (Although I have not done it, often people leave for a time when they need a break, they just do it when they need to. nothing is said because everybody understands). Other times I go to the after meeting diner gathering.

I felt like the OP when I first went to the autism social group meeting a few months back. I felt really nervous and awkward. Then, I felt like these people are weird. Then I started talking to a few people and then felt comfortable. Pauses in conversation didn't feel awkward. We could talk about random topics and it wouldn't sound weird. It was quite liberating although, I would have to say that I am pretty high-functioning compared to many of the people there. I went home feeling good and that I wouldn't mind going back another time. They have the groups monthly.

I find as a general rule, the more "real" someone is, the more weird they seem at first.

I think this is evidence of the nasty hive-mind software trying to tell you to reject other living beings who do not seem to be good hosts for hive software.