Regrets for paths not taken

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So, the more I have read and began to understand about Autism, it has made some of my past life choices I took (or didn't take) very clear. Things that I have done, for the reasons that I have done, that I have never shared with anyone, because I don't think they would actually believe me, or they would think I am crazy, all seem to make sense now. So here is an example

Since I was young, I was fascinated with planes, military jets specifically. All I wanted to be when I was growing up was be a fighter pilot. As I was getting older and started looking into the requirements, I realized I wouldn't qualify because I am colorblind. Initially, I was crushed, but I moved on, and was heavily considering the military anyway, as I had scored very high on the ASVAB, and was being heavily "recruited". My father, and most of my uncles served, either voluntarily, or were drafted for service during the Vietnam War.

The travel, experience, and GI bill were all very enticing, but can anyone guess the one thing that ultimately "scared" me from signing up?

Well...the haircut would do it for me. Just saying

Being screamed at by drill sergeants? That's one main thing that pulled me away from military service. The high degree of structure was enticing, as was the notion of being clearly told what was expected of me at every turn. I might have enjoyed the travel, and if we went to war, I would have been willing to fight, to kill, and to put myself in harm's way. But I couldn't get over the drill sergeants in the movies screaming, screaming, screaming at everyone all the time. If you want something from me, tell me what it is and I will do it; you don't need to scream in my face. I don't need to be broken; I'm already willing to obey commands. I would not have made it through boot camp. They would have kicked me out for refusing to follow orders or maybe for fighting.

What scared you about getting into the military?

Well...I would guess that it would be the possibility of getting killed in combat.

No, that didn't even bother me as much as it should... really I was worried I would be starving the whole time, because at the time, I had a very limited diet, and I knew I would have to eat stuff that most people like, but I hate. That was seriously my biggest concern, and why I did not join.