A Mask For The World
I have recently been evaluated and my doctors tell me that they think the official diagnosis is just a matter of time away. The mask that you are talking about is something that I have actually visualized before. "What do these people want out of me. What would they expect me to say in this situation.", I would think. I was a character. Never myself. Thanks for sharing this.
naturalplastic wrote:
This notion is almost self contradictory because ALL humans put on masks to survive. Autistics are actually impaired in the art of mask wearing by being (to varying degrees) pathologically honest. Its hard for us to pull this off:
I think the issue is that NTs tend to put on a mask opposite to what they feel, either for the sake of social harmony or tricking others. When autistic people talk about a mask, they mean appearing NT to express what they do feel inside, because it won't register with NTs otherwise. That's exhausting, and also has the psychological toll of making one feel like they have to constantly justify their having basic emotions to others. An NT mask doesn't feel that way, since it's meant to obscure.
QuinnPRK wrote:
http://wrongplanet.net/mask-world/
There’s a term I’ve used a few times in my columns, “The Mask.” It’s something central to the autistic identity, something understood in the LGBTQ movement, commonly known as ‘The Closet,’ and a part of black culture in America, often described as ‘Acting White,’ but not discussed enough in the world of autism. People need to understand autism as an Identity, inseparable from someone’s personhood, and understanding the mask is one of several keys to understanding autistic people, the autistic struggle, and the self advocacy movement. In short, the mask is what it means to be autistic. What is “The ...
An EXCELLENT article my friend. Very well thought out and it echoes much of my life as it has been. This "mask for the world" is what I like to call "my normal social shield." This shield is what I "put on" every time I go to work, as I've been fired so many times as well as suspended that I don't want to lose my job again because my co-workers "voted me off the island" for being too weird or... Autistic. As hard as I try to put on my "mask for the world", the stim suppression, the lack of pointing out of NTs mistakes, acting like NTs, etc. etc. it only created a lot of anger and stress and I would end up losing my job anyways. One wonders why I even try to act NT or "mask up".
Although, I have been making some progress lately ever since my diagnosis. I have been able to recall many of my stims from years before, like rocking back and forth, tapping my right hand on my right leg, etc. and I've been able to continue these habits, even in public. Stimming in crowded malls for example has been my latest achievement, stimming in restaurants too. When I used to stim as a child my father would hit me or would yell at me, especially my mother, to "stop fidgeting!" All. The. Time.
Stim suppression isn't something I recommend for any Autistic because of the stress and anger it creates. So, in my early 30s I had a heart attack. So did my younger brother, for the same reasons. All of that Autistic suppression, that "masking for the world" eventually caught up to us and our hearts literally gave out.
If I could "unmask" myself at work that would be ideal but that is an entirely different dynamic, and one that might cause me to lose my job... again. If I could retire and live in the mountains then I would be saved from another heart attack AND I wouldn't have to mask FOR ANYONE! *sigh*
One day maybe...
_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***
ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.
Keep calm and stim away.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,415
Location: Long Island, New York
Autism shouldn’t have to be concealed by Madeleine Ryan for The Herald Sun
Quote:
AN essential part of creating harmony in our community is respecting each other’s differences.
Researchers from the University of Surrey have observed that when there is a lack of acceptance around the needs and preferences of autistic students in mainstream learning environments, they feel “limited” and “different”.
They internalise the negative attitudes and reactions of others and unrealistically compare themselves with students who are neurotypical — as distinct from developing a sense of what they’re capable of.
I’m autistic, and the fear of not being accepted has shaped the person I’ve become. Wanting to seem “normal” often takes precedence over what might be better and safer for me. Rather than saying no, I’ll act like I’m enjoying brunch out at a restaurant, even if a quieter space would make it easier to connect with friends and family.
If I feel besieged in a crowd, rather than slowly finding a way out or meditating to stay calm, I’ll spend most of my energy ensuring that I don’t appear to be affected. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not.
It just means that I’m pretending not to be. And doctors have congratulated me for that. They have commended what they describe as my “adaptation skills” and the ability I have to not seem autistic.
The problem being that I am autistic, and being praised for acting otherwise is painful because, effectively, it means I’m being praised for not being who I am.
I often feel a fraud because I do and say things and my feelings aren’t part of the equation. It’s like I’m a robot and once I find the courage to express myself, people are shocked: I didn’t think you cared if I copied what you wore! And made fun of you in front of everyone. You used to find it funny!
I recently watched myself ordering a takeaway coffee and even though I felt frightened by how tense the barista became at the sight of how many customers there were waiting at the register, I chose not to say anything. Then I stopped myself from laughing at the girl doing the dishes who was avoiding eye contact to ensure that she didn’t have to deal with the customers, either.
Whether we need to meditate in a crowd, or read the newspaper with a latte, or wish customers were more patient, we all want to be seen and we all want to feel accepted and safe. And if we’re too busy labelling things as “normal” or “different” there’s no room to see that, in essence, we’re all the same.
No one needs to change and no one needs to act like anybody else because, together, we must find a way to accept ourselves, and each other, just as we are.
Researchers from the University of Surrey have observed that when there is a lack of acceptance around the needs and preferences of autistic students in mainstream learning environments, they feel “limited” and “different”.
They internalise the negative attitudes and reactions of others and unrealistically compare themselves with students who are neurotypical — as distinct from developing a sense of what they’re capable of.
I’m autistic, and the fear of not being accepted has shaped the person I’ve become. Wanting to seem “normal” often takes precedence over what might be better and safer for me. Rather than saying no, I’ll act like I’m enjoying brunch out at a restaurant, even if a quieter space would make it easier to connect with friends and family.
If I feel besieged in a crowd, rather than slowly finding a way out or meditating to stay calm, I’ll spend most of my energy ensuring that I don’t appear to be affected. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not.
It just means that I’m pretending not to be. And doctors have congratulated me for that. They have commended what they describe as my “adaptation skills” and the ability I have to not seem autistic.
The problem being that I am autistic, and being praised for acting otherwise is painful because, effectively, it means I’m being praised for not being who I am.
I often feel a fraud because I do and say things and my feelings aren’t part of the equation. It’s like I’m a robot and once I find the courage to express myself, people are shocked: I didn’t think you cared if I copied what you wore! And made fun of you in front of everyone. You used to find it funny!
I recently watched myself ordering a takeaway coffee and even though I felt frightened by how tense the barista became at the sight of how many customers there were waiting at the register, I chose not to say anything. Then I stopped myself from laughing at the girl doing the dishes who was avoiding eye contact to ensure that she didn’t have to deal with the customers, either.
Whether we need to meditate in a crowd, or read the newspaper with a latte, or wish customers were more patient, we all want to be seen and we all want to feel accepted and safe. And if we’re too busy labelling things as “normal” or “different” there’s no room to see that, in essence, we’re all the same.
No one needs to change and no one needs to act like anybody else because, together, we must find a way to accept ourselves, and each other, just as we are.
I do not really have any words to add execpt to say excellent essay.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
blueblood
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 5 Mar 2018
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: a unknown alien world
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